Minister Invited to Rehearsal Dinner?

ShilohR · September 2010

So I've seen a lot of posts asking who should be invited to the rehearsal dinner, but none regarding the minister. Is it customary to invite the minister to the RD? My FMIL is asking and I'm not sure what the answer is.

Thanks!

mgietler76 · September 2010

I think you should invite him. Seems like common courtesy to me to.

apple_green · September 2010

It's my understanding that if you know him personally (i.e. he's the pastor of your church, a family friend, etc.), then he should be invited.

Our officiant is just a guy we found online, and hired as any other vendor. We're not inviting him because that would feel weird.

LesPaul · September 2010

We did, along with his wife, because he attended the rehearsal and helped us plan the ceremony. Part of our appreciation for his role in everything was inviting him to the RD.

twilight.rose · September 2010

We invited ours (and his wife, of course) since he is the pastor of the church H grew up in.

LoveBugBaby · September 2010

I think it's the polite thing to do since he is taking time out of his evening to attend the rehearsal, not to mention he has put in some work with helping to plan your wedding ceremony.

We know our officiant (he's my SIL's father) so for us it was an obvious yes to him and his wife being invited to dinner... had we not known him very well, I think we'd still be inviting him to dinner.

ETA: And yes, if you do invite him, you should def. be inviting his wife/SO as well.

MISSCOURTNEY20 · September 2010

We are inviting ours too. She was my Sunday School teacher growing up.

emilyann21 · September 2010

We're inviting the priest. I've yet to meet him since my regular priest will just be getting back from Europe that night and won't be doing our ceremony.

I thought it was pretty much mandatory to invite him/her?

mica178 · September 2010

If the minister is involved in the rehearsal, you should invite him/her.

My priest has to give Mass during my RD, but he'll at least get the invitation.

mgietler76 · September 2010

apple_green has a valid point, I suppose if you are just meeting him it could be awkward. I think I might still invite him though since he's taking the time out of his day to do the rehersal. I remeber last year the bride and groom didn't invite their priest (from the church they go to every week no less) and I thougt it was kinda rude

fianceekathryn · September 2010

I'd say yes, invite him/her. Unless you have a relationship beyond officiant/couple, he/she'll probably decline, but if they'll be at the rehersal, it's nice to ask.

Kristin789 · September 2010

Of COURSE you invite the minister and SO to the RD.

Could you really look the minister in the eye after your rehearsal and say,

"Hey thanks for putting all this rehearsal stuff together, and for helping all of us understand what we're going to be doing tomorrow. Most of us have only been in a few weddings and each one is different, and having you teach us was really helpful. And thanks for meeting with just FI and me to talk over stuff. That opened some communication that's been good for us, and good for us to build a solid foundation for our marriage. Oh, and thanks for everything you've done and will do to make tomorrow go really smoothly, and be really special just for us. Well, gotta go. FI's parents are hosting a really big dinner tonight for everyone involved in the rehearsal - well, I mean everyone except YOU because well this is your JOB really and you know. So have a nice night eating PB&J and watching PBS or whatever you minister people do. See you tomorrow!"

kathrynhabibti · September 2010

[QUOTE]Of COURSE you invite the minister and SO to the RD. Could you really look the minister in the eye after your rehearsal and say, "Hey thanks for putting all this rehearsal stuff together, and for helping all of us understand what we're going to be doing tomorrow. Most of us have only been in a few weddings and each one is different, and having you teach us was really helpful. And thanks for meeting with just FI and me to talk over stuff. That opened some communication that's been good for us, and good for us to build a solid foundation for our marriage. Oh, and thanks for everything you've done and will do to make tomorrow go really smoothly, and be really special just for us. Well, gotta go. FI's parents are hosting a really big dinner tonight for everyone involved in the rehearsal - well, I mean everyone except YOU because well this is your JOB really and you know. So have a nice night eating PB&J and watching PBS or whatever you minister people do. See you tomorrow!"
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]
If she's never seen it, it's probably not so obvious to her. fwiw, the officiant at my cousin's wedding was surprised to be invited to the reception - never happened before, she said - and was happy to attend.

OP, I'm just guessing here that you'd been unsure of whether clergy or whatever typically go to these, and they might feel awkward or obligated to stay if they don't usually? I'd say invite him or her and SO if there is one. Your officiant might not typically join in RDs and might decline but it's a nice gesture to invite them - they will appreciate it all the same.

Minister Invited to Rehearsal Dinner?

Re: Minister Invited to Rehearsal Dinner?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards