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he's home :)

peaceisthewaypeaceistheway
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in Military Brides
the past two weeks have been quite the adventure. i wish i could say that everything's settled down, but there's still SO much to do.

of course, it was a super happy reunion, but it's not really what i expected. we house hunted the day after he got home, and luckily landed an awesome place, but its been nonstop move/pack/buying stuff for the new place ever since. both of us are super overwhelmed, and i feel like its taking a toll on our relationship :/.  our lives were just so easy breezy before, so its been a full force, loaded change. its hard adjusting to not only him being back home, but also moving out of LA. ive never lived away from here, so its a pretty big deal for me.

i put in my notice at work, and while im finishing up here, i havent really saved up any money. so im also dealing with the "burden feeling"... like im not contributing, and whatnot. i'm not used to anyone paying this much money in general, let alone being part of it. its just an uneasy feeling. i want to repay him, or freakin help at least, but i just feel helpless. while he's clearly overwhelmed too, he's still reassuring. its not like before, in the sense that it was so easy to just say how sweet everything would be.

i know everythings going to be fine, but its all just over my head right now. we're going to vegas this weekend (not really our idea, but we're going with friends). part of me feels like we could be getting more stuff done... but maybe its a blessing, that we'll have time to forcibly just hang out.

either way... im so happy hes home, and safe, and we're taking steps forward in our relationship :). big, big changes, and maybe im not 110% giddy right this second, but im sure it'll come around sooner or later.
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Re: he's home :)

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    iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm glad he is home.  Y'all enjoy having some time together. 
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    calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Just try and breath and enjoy each other this weekend!  You deserve it.  Just stop and enjoy the moment and be together.

    We find that if we rent a hotel room for a night, even if it's mid-week, we end up spending more "us time" because it feels like a mini vacation.  Do what you need to do to be together.

    And be patient - the readjustment takes time and is never as easy as you want it to be.  This is true no matter why you're apart - I'm already prepared for an adjustment after my guy gets back from being gone all summer and he's only going for an internship at Parris Island.  Just try and remember to be nice to each other and things will fall back into place.

    As far as the move goes, try and be positive.  How you adjust to a big move depends largely on your outlook - try to look at it as an adventure!  Also, read up a bit on culture shock, because even in your own country, you go through the same stages of adjustment.  First you're either timid or excited - either afraid to try new things or excited about every detail of your new place (this is where attitude comes into play).  Then you start to criticize your new place and miss your old place and idealize how things were perfect in LA and awful where you live - don't get worried at this stage that it was a mistake to move, it's just a normal part of adjustment.  Be patient and try to find places that are "yours", like a coffee shop you frequent or a favorite restaurant.  It'll help.  That can last several months, so be prepared!  Just like having to get readjusted to having your FI home, you have to adjust to a new place.  After awhile, you'll reach the last stage - where you start to see your new home for its good and bad, while viewing LA for its good and bad.

    Good luck!!!

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    RoyalDisneyRoyalDisney
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Congrats and Enjoy!  I am so looking forward to this day in April!
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    peaceisthewaypeaceistheway
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_hes-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:728fd607-0344-4c20-97cc-a9c9ee81ef1bPost:dac0e3e5-2485-455b-bc2c-6f3431b0cdae">Re: he's home :)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just try and breath and enjoy each other this weekend!  You deserve it.  Just stop and enjoy the moment and be together. We find that if we rent a hotel room for a night, even if it's mid-week, we end up spending more "us time" because it feels like a mini vacation.  Do what you need to do to be together. And be patient - the readjustment takes time and is never as easy as you want it to be.  This is true no matter why you're apart - I'm already prepared for an adjustment after my guy gets back from being gone all summer and he's only going for an internship at Parris Island.  Just try and remember to be nice to each other and things will fall back into place. As far as the move goes, try and be positive.  How you adjust to a big move depends largely on your outlook - try to look at it as an adventure!  Also, read up a bit on culture shock, because even in your own country, you go through the same stages of adjustment.  First you're either timid or excited - either afraid to try new things or excited about every detail of your new place (this is where attitude comes into play).  Then you start to criticize your new place and miss your old place and idealize how things were perfect in LA and awful where you live - don't get worried at this stage that it was a mistake to move, it's just a normal part of adjustment.  Be patient and try to find places that are "yours", like a coffee shop you frequent or a favorite restaurant.  It'll help.  That can last several months, so be prepared!  Just like having to get readjusted to having your FI home, you have to adjust to a new place.  After awhile, you'll reach the last stage - where you start to see your new home for its good and bad, while viewing LA for its good and bad. Good luck!!!
    Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

    thank you so much :). all of that was super comforting. i know its all a matter of adjustment, but i guess it's always something i feel way more prepared for than i actually am. thanks for the advice on finding my own little spots in the area... everythings been so hectic, but im definitely gonna scope the area for a yoga studio to call my own :).

    it's been a whirlwind of emotions, but this weekend definitely helped!
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    calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yep, finding those "me places" can be just as much fun!  Spend the whole first week you go there taking a class at a different yoga studio every day (or every other, depending on how often you go). 

    I've relocated a lot.  By choice (I guess I was practicing for the life of military spouse that I never knew I'd have, huh?).  I moved 1000 miles from home, from a small town to a major city, to go to college.  I then moved 5000 miles away to study abroad in Shanghai, China.  Then I moved to Seville, Spain to study abroad there.  Then after college I followed my guy down to Miami.  The biggest adjustment for me so far was Miami, believe it or not, simply because I wasn't prepared for it to be this big of an adjustment and I had the safety net of living with my guy so I didn't meet as many people on my own.  Put yourself out there and meet new people - a yoga studio sounds like a fantastic way to do that!

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