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Is this normal!?

katy0293katy0293
First Comment
in Ohio-Columbus
FI and I are fighting over all the stupidest crap EVER!
I feel like every conversation turns into an arguement and we are forever getting on each other's nerves.  I have 23 days until our wedding and I was to vomit anytime I think about it.

What did y'all do when you were down to the wire and couldn't take the pressure?!
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Re: Is this normal!?

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    edited December 2011
    Yup, we had the same issues. Just remember that at the end of the day you will be married despite the little details b/c they are just that. I think H and I fought further out than that and we were both over it within a month or so of the wedding. I told myself that what wasn't done within 2 weeks or so of the wedding, wasn't going to get done. It greatly reduced my stress especially with planning and dragging everything back to Ohio from GA.
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    MrsBoss2012MrsBoss2012
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    edited December 2011
    I'm not sure if you are a religious/spiritual person but my response would be to pray. You are making a holy commitment in God's eyes and I think the negative powers that be are trying to interfere with that. Keep your eyes on the big picture! My FI and I got engaged after like 7 years of dating, as soon as we got engaged it seems the heat turned up and we fought like crazy. I realized we were being challenged because we finally decided to make our commitment official before God.
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    JelennyJelenny
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    edited December 2011
    Yes...we were pretty stressed and ready for it to be over you will get through it.  Take a day out and have a date (that did help) NO WEDDING TALK on the date - just relax and have fun. 
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    montyandkellyskimontyandkellyski
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    edited December 2011
    We are down to the wire also and it has gotten stressful at times.

    Ultimately, FI said to me one night of bickering that he is upset not at the cost, or the details, or anything, but the fact that the wedding is causing so much stress on our relationship. Ever since then, we just don't let it get to that point.

    He always wants a clean house, but with so much to do right now, I contribute way more to the mess and hardly to the clean up. Wedding projects aren't his thing, so he is basically doing all the hosuework while I work on the wedding stuff. I guess divide and conquer? Figure out your strengths and who can contribute what to where and handle it like that...maybe?

    The wedding stuff can't be 24/7 for FI or for me, which is so so so hard at this point but necessary.

    Good luck with the next few weeks! Hang in there!
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    Brit12Brit12 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    My husband and I hardly every fought before the wedding and hardly do after - but about a month out from our wedding date the stress of crazy family members and a long list of tasks made planning not so fun anymore and we just wanted to get it all over with. We started to have little spats almost every day. About 2 weeks out we took a night off from ALL wedding talk and had a date night.

    After that, we made a list / schedule of all the things that needed to be done, and as a comprimise, I axed a couple projects that just weren't necessary. They weren't missed and we had a much better go of it leading up to the wedding.

    Try organizing your tasks and make a schedule, and prioritize everything so you can easily cut things that you won't be able to get to. But most of all, try to take a little time out to just be together, even if it's just for a little while.
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    GApeachOHGApeachOH
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_ohio-columbus_this-normal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:112Discussion:363066cd-ac36-43e7-8c58-29cbdc1c9ccbPost:91f10eb2-6465-456c-88b8-3c944bf22fb8">Re: Is this normal!?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm not sure if you are a religious/spiritual person but my response would be to pray. You are making a holy commitment in God's eyes and I think the negative powers that be are trying to interfere with that. Keep your eyes on the big picture! My FI and I got engaged after like 7 years of dating, as soon as we got engaged it seems the heat turned up and we fought like crazy. I realized we were being challenged because we finally decided to make our commitment official before God.
    Posted by MrsBoss2012[/QUOTE]

    I could not have said it better.
    We are 8 months out and fight a lot too. Mostly over stupid things, too. High stress situations take tolls on people. Satan sees something good and wants to rip it away from you. God is fighting this war with you. But, turn your head and heart over to God and know that He is in control of everything.
    I will pray for you guys.
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    green795green795
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We were stressed out and got into fights, too, because there was jsut so much going on. Throughout the wedding planning, i didn't mind that I did most of the work because my husband trusted I would make the right decisions for us, and we talked things over with each approaching and completed "check." Then 3 weeks before the wedding, we bought and moved into our house, then the stress built up with the moving distractions and we knew his dad and grandma were staying with us from overseas (was supposed ot be his stepmom too but she backed out of coming to wedding at the last minute- family issues on all four sides caused other stresses), so we were trying to entertain them that week before the wedding and I was running around getting last minute meetings and things done and...! 

    Needless to say, things can get stressful this time in your planning. To cope with the stress, we just talked things through, how we felt, and what the other person could do to help ease some of the stress. We also went out to dinner a couple of tmes and avoided wedding talk during dinnner. BUt after the wedding we stopped stressing out and getting into tiffs.

    Do whatever works for you as a couple and know that things do get better!
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    tweber510tweber510
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We fight alot too, I will admit a lot of it is miscomunications while some of it is me going kind of crazy and adding a lot of stres to my life. Sometimes I really want to kill him, but in the end I love him and I know that we're meant to be together. Stick it out! Everything will be fine!
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