new here...vent and help

AngB1230 · April 2012

hello fellow sept brides...i always read the posts but have never written one but I feel the need to this time.....Am I the only one having issues with bridemaids and groomsmen not getting their attire handled? I feel like I am pulling teeth and kissing butts....Also it seems out of nowhere everyone and anyone i know have also choosen to get married in sept also...being this is my second marriage I feel I am getting the shaft (even though i really didnt have a wedding the first time around) anyways all this had led me to become depressed about the whole thing...many times i just want to call it off and save the money......

QueerFemme · April 2012

ugh. I'm sorry. Wrangling people up is a pain in the butt sometimes. You may want to call each of your BMs and say "We need to have the dress ordered no later than X date. Please let me know when you will be able to make that happen".

As far as Groomsmen... if they are renting tuxes, you have some time. I would deal with the BMs first and have your fiance start dealing with the groomsmen. BM dresses take from 2-4 months to arrive. I would call them TODAY and explain that... and be very honest and flat out say "is there any reason why you won't be able to get this done by the end of this month?" or something along those lines. if you are getting married in September, you are seriously running out of time.

Try not to get frustrated, but start having serious conversations with everyone in your bridal party and see if there is something keeping them from moving forward. Once you get that off your chest, you may start feeling better.

I only have two BMs... and I took them shopping and paid for their dresses. I just made sure I had that in the budget ... because I didn't want to deal with dress drama.

doublenn · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_new-herevent-and-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:6fb8d351-14bd-41cb-9b11-08209b0354aaPost:feb53550-a647-4e4e-b9f7-0b0ac5ca2305">new here...vent and help</a>:
[QUOTE]hello fellow sept brides...i always read the posts but have never written one but I feel the need to this time.....Am I the only one having issues with bridemaids and groomsmen not getting their attire handled? I feel like I am pulling teeth and kissing butts....Also it seems out of nowhere everyone and anyone i know have also choosen to get married in sept also...being this is my second marriage I feel I am getting the shaft (even though i really didnt have a wedding the first time around) anyways all this had led me to become depressed about the whole thing...many times i just want to call it off and save the money......
Posted by AngB1230[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Hi Ang!</div><div>I'm sorry about the hard time you're having your bridal party. But, unless their clothing is very complicated, it shouldn't take that long to order it, and you have plenty of time still. It also doesn't matter how many people are getting married in September. We all are on this board! It doesn't mean your wedding will be any less special.</div><div>
</div><div>Are you considering calling it off for real, or is it just a passing thing? Maybe you could ask your fiance for help if you're feeling very overwhelmed. If you don't actually want to call it off, keep in mind how much fun you'll have on the day.</div><div>
</div><div>I'm sorry to nitpick here, but you did have a wedding the first time around. It sounds like you didn't have a large ceremony/reception, but that doesn't mean you didn't have a wedding. Lots of brides choose not to have a ceremony/reception, and would get offended to be told that they "didn't have a wedding".</div><div>
</div>

AngB1230 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_new-herevent-and-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:6fb8d351-14bd-41cb-9b11-08209b0354aaPost:95ff7312-7b89-407d-85a2-dba20bd01b2f">Re: new here...vent and help</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to new here...vent and help : Hi Ang! I'm sorry about the hard time you're having your bridal party. But, unless their clothing is very complicated, it shouldn't take that long to order it, and you have plenty of time still. It also doesn't matter how many people are getting married in September. We all are on this board! It doesn't mean your wedding will be any less special. Are you considering calling it off for real, or is it just a passing thing? Maybe you could ask your fiance for help if you're feeling very overwhelmed. If you don't actually want to call it off, keep in mind how much fun you'll have on the day. I'm sorry to nitpick here, but you did have a wedding the first time around. It sounds like you didn't have a large ceremony/reception, but that doesn't mean you didn't have a wedding. Lots of brides choose not to have a ceremony/reception, and would get offended to be told that they "didn't have a wedding".
Posted by doublenn[/QUOTE]

in my opinion i did not have a "wedding" the first time was at the JP the only person i knew was the groom lol

doublenn · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_new-herevent-and-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:6fb8d351-14bd-41cb-9b11-08209b0354aaPost:79095574-302e-4419-b724-477b6b03728d">Re: new here...vent and help</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: new here...vent and help : in my opinion i did not have a "wedding" the first time was at the JP the only person i knew was the groom lol
Posted by AngB1230[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Regardless, it was your wedding. And it would offend others that are doing the same and are calling it their wedding.

</div>

AngB1230 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_new-herevent-and-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:6fb8d351-14bd-41cb-9b11-08209b0354aaPost:5bbd03a1-0daf-4749-973f-4af5f833d0f6">Re: new here...vent and help</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: new here...vent and help : Regardless, it was your wedding. And it would offend others that are doing the same and are calling it their wedding.
Posted by doublenn[/QUOT

like i said it was my opinion

Ciardasully · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_new-herevent-and-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:6fb8d351-14bd-41cb-9b11-08209b0354aaPost:feb53550-a647-4e4e-b9f7-0b0ac5ca2305">new here...vent and help</a>:
[QUOTE]hello fellow sept brides...i always read the posts but have never written one but I feel the need to this time.....Am I the only one having issues with bridemaids and groomsmen not getting their attire handled? I feel like I am pulling teeth and kissing butts....Also it seems out of nowhere everyone and anyone i know have also choosen to get married in sept also...being this is my second marriage I feel I am getting the shaft (even though i really didnt have a wedding the first time around) anyways all this had led me to become depressed about the whole thing...many times i just want to call it off and save the money......
Posted by AngB1230[/QUOTE]

I am just wondering how other people getting married in Sept means you are getting the shaft. My FI and I have three other weddings going on within a month of our wedding (1 two weeks before, 2 -One Fri, One Sat- two weeks after our wedding) . These things come in waves. I am just thankfully none of these weddings are on the same day as all our friends weddings are friends in seperate circles.

AngB1230 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_new-herevent-and-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:6fb8d351-14bd-41cb-9b11-08209b0354aaPost:d4762324-9f08-4ffc-b285-1590e5d73ea0">Re: new here...vent and help</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to new here...vent and help : I am just wondering how other people getting married in Sept means you are getting the shaft. My FI and I have three other weddings going on within a month of our wedding (1 two weeks before, 2 -One Fri, One Sat- two weeks after our wedding) . These things come in waves.
Posted by Ciardasully[/QUOTE]

i am probably just being oversensitve about it....bridal hormones? lol

Ciardasully · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_new-herevent-and-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:6fb8d351-14bd-41cb-9b11-08209b0354aaPost:7b8f1fce-1e10-4452-9b5f-e969dc9d08e8">Re: new here...vent and help</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: new here...vent and help : i am probably just being oversensitve about it....bridal hormones? lol
Posted by AngB1230[/QUOTE]

Bridal hormones. I like it. I think we are entitled to our moments lol.

doublenn · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_new-herevent-and-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:6fb8d351-14bd-41cb-9b11-08209b0354aaPost:7b8f1fce-1e10-4452-9b5f-e969dc9d08e8">Re: new here...vent and help</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: new here...vent and help : i am probably just being oversensitve about it....bridal hormones? lol
Posted by AngB1230[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Haha, I think we all get those.

</div>

BMcLeodTeam · April 2012

We all get those moments from time to time

Best thing to do is vent on here and then let it go. The ladies here all understand and don't get offended like people might in real life about something like that!
I would say to your BMs that you need the dresses ordered by x date and then just stop bugging them. Either they get it and are in the wedding, or they don't and aren't. At the end of the day its their decision anyway.

SCogs18 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_new-herevent-and-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:6fb8d351-14bd-41cb-9b11-08209b0354aaPost:5bbd03a1-0daf-4749-973f-4af5f833d0f6">Re: new here...vent and help</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: new here...vent and help : Regardless, it was your wedding. And it would offend others that are doing the same and are calling it their wedding.
Posted by doublenn[/QUOTE]

Doublenn, what is your deal? We pride ourselves for being one of the nicest boards on TK, there is no need to be rude or nasty.

OP, I am in the same boat as you. Our groomsmen/ushers are being lazy about getting fitted for their tuxes. They have even gone so far as to lie about having been fitted! It really pisses me off, especially the lying, but there really is time for tux fittings. They don't HAVE to be done until 1 month before the wedding.

Bridesmaids are a different story. A week ago only one of my 6 bridesmaids had ordered her dress. I sent out an e-mail reminding them of the time constraints and the rush fee and a new deadline (this Thursday)...now I only have one bridesmaid who hasn't ordered her dress! Be real and honest with them and tell them if it isn't done by X date, they are causing a real issue. Remind them again. If they don't do it by the final date, they have effectively removed themselves from the wedding. Make sure they know what this means so they have time to get it done. I feel your pain. It's so furstating. This is the one job they have to do.

celticmyss · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_new-herevent-and-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:6fb8d351-14bd-41cb-9b11-08209b0354aaPost:af78d409-043e-4424-b812-d7a837ce9c5e">Re: new here...vent and help</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: new here...vent and help : Doublenn, what is your deal? We pride ourselves for being one of the nicest boards on TK, there is no need to be rude or nasty.
Posted by SCogs18[/QUOTE]

<div>I don't think being honest about what you think is the same as being rude or nasty. She didn't say anything mean to the OP and later came back and brushed it off. </div>

CowgirlK39 · April 2012

Oh goodness, girl I know the feeling. I was sending emails, and giving a final date for BMs to order by. No response, no choice made. I began freaking out, but then I met with my MOH and she informed me that they had decided on a dress! Great, how about TELL ME THAT WHEN I ASK YOU ALL? However, I still do not believe anyone has ordered them yet. I feel the same way as you do; it sucks that I have to beg my closest friends to do one thing for me.

We all have that moment where we want to throw down all our DIY's, invites and dress choices and yell "F**K IT!" But just keep breathing, and keep working at it, vent here often, and it will be all over before you know it.

kellycatalo · April 2012

It may be hard if they aren't responding to you, but we haven't even looked at tuxes yet. So I think you have plenty of time! We scheduled an appointment for May 12th, which is about 3 and a half months before my wedding. I'm sure your guys will get around to ordering them by then. As for the girls, I know dresses take a little longer, but it depends where you are ordering from. My girls got their dresses within a week!

BMcLeodTeam · April 2012

Ladies ladies ladies... Lets not turn into one of those boards where we're upset with one another

lol

I think she had a point, a JOP is a wedding and saying it isn't definitely could offend people who are actively making the choice to do so. It may not be the big wedding you wanted, and there's nothing wrong with that and wanting to do something bigger the second time around, but all that you need to really constitute a wedding is an officiant, bride and groom.

That being said OP I hope you get the wedding you want with your planning this time

AngB1230 · April 2012

idk...its like you are a adult ...why do i have to hold your hand?...i only have 1 MOH and 2 BM so kicking one of them out isnt really a option...i guess i know eventually they will get it done but i hate things getting done last min....and everything is custom order since it will be a renaissance themed wedding...so no tuxes all custom...thanks for letting me vent guys

QueerFemme · April 2012

Ok.. if you are doing custom attire, you need to seriously get your fiance involved and tell him to get ON this and talk to his guys.

My wedding gown from Mori Lee came in in two weeks, but my bridesmaids dresses from David's Bridal of all places, that I ordered in February, haven't come in yet. They said that many of their styles are running 2-4 months. If you are ordering something more custom than a typical bridesmaid dress and out of the ordinary groomsmen attire... I would call each of your BMs invidually and give them a drop dead date and say, "we HAVE to order by X date or we will not be able to get the dress". And then have your fiance do the same for the guys.

Don't beat around the bush when you talk to them. Be direct and to the point "hey, your lack of movement is starting to super stress me out. Is there any reason why you aren't able to get this done?" Maybe someone has budget issues and doesn't want to tell you?

AngB1230 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_new-herevent-and-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:6fb8d351-14bd-41cb-9b11-08209b0354aaPost:b7c709cc-1d44-4e38-bae6-c246c012fe80">Re: new here...vent and help</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok.. if you are doing custom attire, you need to seriously get your fiance involved and tell him to get ON this and talk to his guys. My wedding gown from Mori Lee came in in two weeks, but my bridesmaids dresses from David's Bridal of all places, that I ordered in February, haven't come in yet. They said that many of their styles are running 2-4 months. If you are ordering something more custom than a typical bridesmaid dress and out of the ordinary groomsmen attire... I would call each of your BMs invidually and give them a drop dead date and say, "we HAVE to order by X date or we will not be able to get the dress". And then have your fiance do the same for the guys. Don't beat around the bush when you talk to them. Be direct and to the point "hey, your lack of movement is starting to super stress me out. Is there any reason why you aren't able to get this done?" Maybe someone has budget issues and doesn't want to tell you?
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

great advice...i just texted moh and i asked her when she is going to get her measurements dont to order the dress and she said "soon" urghhhhh!!!! did i mention she is my sister.....

doublenn · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_new-herevent-and-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:6fb8d351-14bd-41cb-9b11-08209b0354aaPost:af78d409-043e-4424-b812-d7a837ce9c5e">Re: new here...vent and help</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: new here...vent and help : Doublenn, what is your deal? We pride ourselves for being one of the nicest boards on TK, there is no need to be rude or nasty.
Posted by SCogs18[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I did not at all intend to be nasty. I'm really sorry if it came off that way, sometimes tone can't be correctly represented over the internet.</div><div>
</div><div>Britt commented better than I could on what I meant. I'm all for people doing the exact wedding they want, and I love big weddings (I'm having one myself!). And if that's what someone wants to do, and can do it, more power to them! I was just expressing a common feeling among people that choose to have their wedding with just a JOP. They get sad when their wedding gets put down by other people calling it not "real".</div><div>
</div><div>Ang, your wedding plans at the faire sound super fun! Good luck with planning!

</div>

QueerFemme · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_new-herevent-and-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:6fb8d351-14bd-41cb-9b11-08209b0354aaPost:0498b5d6-ca74-4079-aaa0-d574c6069acf">Re: new here...vent and help</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: new here...vent and help : great advice...i just texted moh and i asked her when she is going to get her measurements dont to order the dress and she said "soon" urghhhhh!!!! did i mention she is my sister.....
Posted by AngB1230[/QUOTE]

Oh my goodness. I think, a DIRECT question might be the better choice. Don't ask "when are you going to get her measurements". Say "I need you to get your measurements done in the next 2 weeks. Please tell me when you've made your appointment".

If you ask a somewhat open-ended question, you get a vague answer. Be assertive ! Not bridezilla assertive... but, give a specific time frame.

Good luck!

AngB1230 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_new-herevent-and-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:6fb8d351-14bd-41cb-9b11-08209b0354aaPost:a1f7f7be-a8dc-4110-ba15-84e5f45b0040">Re: new here...vent and help</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: new here...vent and help : Oh my goodness. I think, a DIRECT question might be the better choice. Don't ask "when are you going to get her measurements". Say "I need you to get your measurements done in the next 2 weeks. Please tell me when you've made your appointment". If you ask a somewhat open-ended question, you get a vague answer. Be assertive ! Not bridezilla assertive... but, give a specific time frame. Good luck!
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

see! thats why i need you girls!

new here...vent and help

Re: new here...vent and help

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