Community› Local Wedding Boards› Colorado-Denver
Colorado-Denver
New Discussion
Options

junior bridesmaid thinks she's 18!

lebon11lebon11
in Colorado-Denver
My junior bridesmaid (my FI's little sister) is only 11 years old and will barely 12 when we get married.
My MOH and I went and looked for bridesmaid dresses and found amazingly beautiful strapless red ballroom dresses, with a junior bridesmaid style to match. The only difference is the JB has straps, when i showed my FMIL and JB the JB dress they started talking about seam ripping the staps off themselves because my JB wants to look like the other girls.
I want her to wear straps on her dress and my FMIL is having fits about it, what do i do? i don't think a 12 year old should be dressing in a strapless red dress!!!
Report Reply to Post

Re: junior bridesmaid thinks she's 18!

  • Options
    patrizepatrize
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I understand where you're coming from, but though you may feel that way, you are not the JB's mother.  You can voice your opinion, but her mother has control over her, not you.  If it bothers you that much, pick a different dress that can't be changed into a strapless dress.
    68 Looking Forward to Mtn Airimage
    31 Afraid of Altitude Sicknessimage
    4 Being Hunted By My Bounty Hunter Bridesmaid image
    Wedding Countdown Ticker May 2010 Siggy Challenge: Wedding Location imageimage{Bio} (updated 3/2)
    Report Reply
  • Options
    charlsie26charlsie26
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    yeah I second PP, the mom gets the final say on how she wants her DD to look. You can offer an opinion and hope she takes it and understands your viewpoint.
    imageimage
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    dragonkat79dragonkat79 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    lebon, I think you are right. You want her to look age appropriate and there is nothing wrong with that. The other 2 have a point, but your FMIL should remember this is your day and she should respect how you feel. What is the big deal if the only difference in the dresses is straps? Ask your FMIL why she feels she can alter the dress you picked out, if that is the only difference.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    nefariousmangonefariousmango
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with  Dragon: Why does your FMIL think it's okay to alter the dress you picked out specifically for her daughter?  Ask her, nicely, why getting rid of the straps means something to her daughter, and then if you disagree explain why without getting defensive.  My guess would be that she doesn't want her daughter to feel less important than the non-junior bridesmaids.  Maybe you can give her a different boquet or something to honor her as your future sister-in-law, as long as she agrees to keep the straps?  Or as the JB for help with some decision, to make her feel like she's as important as the bridesmaids?

    I wore a red strapless gown as a JB to my cousin's wedding when I was 12, so I've been on the other side.  I wanted to wear it because I wanted to be treated like a grown-up, like my older cousins!  When you're 12, sometimes you don't understand that you're not an adult and that's why you don't get treated like one, lol.

    Good luck!
    imageimageAnniversary
    Report Reply
  • Options
    kanorado1241kanorado1241 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    When I got married, I had a 7 year old JB (my little sister), and she didn't have the body for a strapless dress, but tit was something all the other girls had, so we did this: She was strapless for the ceremony and had her straps at the reception.  (we have the seamstress just put buttons so that the straps could come on or off).

    No one thought anything of it!
    Honestly, for your wedding you have bigger things to stress about than straps or no straps for the JB!  :) 

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards