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only a few keep kosher.....

jamier627jamier627 member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Jewish Weddings
Hi! I am getting married in a year from now (June 16th) to a person who is not jewish (half Indian/half white) and we're not very observant. Out of the 150 or so people coming, I'd say 5-10 of them keep kosher in some way (the most observant being my grandmother who will eat fish out but not shelfish). I do not, and neither do my parents.

My question is--the restaurant where we are having the reception usually does surf and turf for weddings with a vegetarian option as well. The choices for the surf are salmon and shrimp or lobster. My FI and I much prefer shrimp to salmon, however we do not want to offend anyone at the wedding. Would you think it was weird at a half-jewish wedding to see shrimp being served? Most of the Jewish side are reform and do not keep kosher... and we would tell the few that do to get the vegetarian option.

I am not making any decisions yet, but wanted to see what the overall opinion was.

Thanks for your help!
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Re: only a few keep kosher.....

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    tenofcups4metenofcups4me member
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    edited December 2011
    I attend a lot of interfaith and (very) reform weddings and wouldn't think twice about shrimp, bacon-wrapped scallops, and similar foods. BUT if I knew that 5-10 of my guests, including at least one important guest (the grandmother) would be able to eat the filet and salmon, but not the filet and shrimp, personally I'd go for the salmon.
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    jessicabessicajessicabessica member
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    edited December 2011
    The filet won't be kosher, right?  You'll still be serving nonkosher meat and (I assume) dairy at a meat meal, so I don't see the problem with having shrimp in terms of offending people--your menu is not kosher or kosher-style without the shrimp.  I do agree with ten, though, that I would try to accomodate my grandmother as best I could, so for that reason I would go for the salmon.  
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    TeamTarcus2011TeamTarcus2011
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Just my two cents:
    I think that as long as you have SOMETHING that everyone can eat, you shouldn't base your entire menu on a few people's dietary needs.  For example, at our wedding, we were able to request kosher meals special for those who wanted (i.e., the Rabbi), even though the rest of the options weren't kosher.  I would suggest asking the restaurant if they have a kosher option they can provide (if they do a lot of Jewish weddings, they probably do), and if they don't, see if you can maybe bring in kosher meals from another place for those who requre it.  The restaurant shouldn't have any problem with that if it's really only 5-10 people.

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    MrsMLRBMrsMLRB
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_jewish-weddings_only-keep-kosher?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:399Discussion:5ca884a4-d5b2-4796-9854-03b68e699c8bPost:f9862302-c537-4380-956d-fd74e59730ee">Re: only a few keep kosher.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]I attend a lot of interfaith and (very) reform weddings and wouldn't think twice about shrimp, bacon-wrapped scallops, and similar foods. <strong>BUT if I knew that 5-10 of my guests, including at least one important guest (the grandmother) would be able to eat the filet and salmon, but not the filet and shrimp, personally I'd go for the salmon.</strong>
    Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]

    This.
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    JoBell123JoBell123
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    edited December 2011
    If those who keep kosher and are strict about it, you can also see if the restaurant will bring in meals for them from a local kosher place.  This is what our venue is doing for the 4 or so that are strict.  We also have a few who keep kosher but aren't as strict, so they'll go with the vegetarian option.

    We're doing kosher-style (no pork or shellfish).
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    jamier627jamier627 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks so much for everyone's help and opinions! I really appreciate it!  I am still undecided-really depends on FI and how strongly he wants shrimp and not salmon.... because it IS his wedding too......... or if just having the beef is enough good stuff for him!

    Either way, I will tell my grandmotherand other kosher keeping people to get the vegetarian (or get he/them all surf instead of the turf... she did that at my brother's barmitzvah) and the vegetarian entree choices look fabulous! (I am almost considering that for myself because I do not eat red meat-kosher or otherwise)

    So, we'll see how it all shakes out in the end. I am sure my dad will have an opinion (considering she is his mom)
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    lachlomlachlom member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'd ask the venue if they can provide an additional dish for your grandmother who will eat the fish, or any other special accommodations that need to be made. It doesn't seem that you have anyone attending that keeps strictly kosher, so your caterer can probably provide just one or two meals for someone. It's no different, in this case, than if you had a vegetarian who wouldn't even eat the salmon!
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    i__3peachyringsi__3peachyrings
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm marrying a Jewish man, and his family members are varying degrees of observant. We asked his VERY observant, Conservative aunt and she said that her family and other guests who keep kosher will eat vegetarian dishes. And that that's what they do at almost all not-at-home events and it's not a big deal for them.
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    StarquegStarqueg
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My Jewish (but not observant) cousin had a lobster bake for all her guests the night before the wedding.  Gotta love the Mainers.
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