Ah wedding date conflict.

Winnertag1 · December 2012

Decided to delete this post in the slight chance someone stumbles across this board.

Getting2Vowels · December 2012

Umm...does she realize that guests cant be in 2 places at once and really she's inconveniencing family?!

birdie1020 · December 2012

WOW. That is some serious idiocy on their part. I think you did the right thing by sending the STDs out, though. Have they actually booked a venue/vendors or are they just considering the 27th?

Winnertag1 · December 2012

Getting2Vowels - I dont think they really care, they tend to be rather self absorbed a lot of the times.

Birdie - They havent booked a venue or anything yet but they are getting married in FI's cousin's parents back yard (they have a huge yard out in the country). FI's family usually does weddings really casual so they would probably just get a local restaurant to cater it. They have just been saying through word of mouth that they were looking at the 27th.

I hope the Save the Dates persuades them to go with another day.

Knottie1450123632 · December 2012

oo wow hope all works out and they realize when they receive STDs that they didnt remember or consider that the date was already chosen

Chels&Jimmy · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2013-weddings_ah-wedding-date-conflict?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a322ad2c-25cd-4d52-b123-096e1e4ecda5Discussion:a2401ce3-6853-483a-bb71-4f03b8d0cc34Post:cb98bc94-cae6-47e2-afbe-6636ecead23e">Re: Ah wedding date conflict.</a>:
[QUOTE]They have just been saying through word of mouth that they were looking at the 27th. I hope the Save the Dates persuades them to go with another day.
Posted by DileniN[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>OMG... I would probably be flipping out if I were you, but it sounds like you are keeping a clear head! I agree - hopefully your STD's will convince them to choose another day.

</div>

birdie1020 · December 2012

Yeah, it sounds like acting quickly should help! Hopefully even if it doesn't convince them, someone in the family will step forward and speak up. I'm sure it's as tough for them, because I'm sure they want to be at both!

WalkersFurMama · December 2012

I think you did the right the thing. Hopefully they can stay as clear-headed as you and just re-think their date (even if it's just a week before/after yours).

shilotony2012 · December 2012

Wow, that would freak me out!! Glad you had the STD's to send out and did it quickly. Hope they do change the date and soon!!!

Do you think even with the STD's out, they would still insist on the same date? Can FI talk to his cousin? Or maybe have his mom/dad talk to their sibling, cousins parent?

AmJam04 · December 2012

That's so unfortunate

I hope that they realize within the next few weeks that they really don't need to have their wedding on the same day as yours.

FI and I originally wanted a date in June, but we were willing to change it because a DISTANT family member was getting married on that same day and we wanted to be sure that all family could come -- and that was a DISTANT family member!! I can only hope your cousin will come to his/her senses soon.

keyaira04 · December 2012

I am sorry you are going through this, but as pp. said, you seem to have a calm a very handle on the situation. Good call on the STDs. Keep us posted.

kerryberry13 · December 2012

WOOOOWWWWWW! I was pissed off that my cousin was in the same month as me (my date has been set for over 2 years - she just got engaged 1 month ago) but to pick the same date is nuts! There's so many good dates available in July. Good move sending out the Save the Dates and keep us updated!

Winnertag1 · December 2012

Thanks ladies! I know there is no point in getting overly worked up about it, I have other things that I can be worrying about. If they dont end up changing their date, we will come out looking like the better people while they look petty and rude for making their family pick between the two.

Shilo - To be honest, I dont know if it will. FI's cousin is the same age as FI and for some reason his cousin's parents have always "put him" up against FI and compared eachother. FI's aunt (mom of cousin) didnt really like FI all that much because he was the "better" of the two of them (got better grades, didnt get in any trouble, went to school etc) while their son was seen as the "trouble maker". So he MIGHT be doing this as another way of competing with FI. But I dont want to be jumping to any conclusions. If they are adament on keeping that date, we might ask FMIL (it's her sister's kid) if she could talk to them but there has been a bit of a rift in their family over a similar thing (This particular sister and another each decide to throw their own Christmas Party on December 26th and made the entire family decide which one they wanted to go to, when it was technically the other sister's year to do it because they did it alternating years till that point) I am not sure if FMIL would want to, if it will work or if it will just cause more drama.

AmJam - Exactly! I would never consider getting married the same day as another cousin, it just seems like a really petty thing to do. There are so many other days in the year, I would pick another. I dont understand why it has to be this one.

I will keep you guys updated

shilotony2012 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddingchannel.com/main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2013-weddings_ah-wedding-date-conflict?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a322ad2c-25cd-4d52-b123-096e1e4ecda5Discussion:a2401ce3-6853-483a-bb71-4f03b8d0cc34Post:26ba3566-0172-4bd1-8195-e1f27dbffe28">Re: Ah wedding date conflict.</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks ladies! I know there is no point in getting overly worked up about it, I have other things that I can be worrying about. If they dont end up changing their date, we will come out looking like the better people while they look petty and rude for making their family pick between the two. Shilo - To be honest, I dont know if it will. FI's cousin is the same age as FI and for some reason his cousin's parents have always "put him" up against FI and compared eachother. FI's aunt (mom of cousin) didnt really like FI all that much because he was the "better" of the two of them (got better grades, didnt get in any trouble, went to school etc) while their son was seen as the "trouble maker". So he MIGHT be doing this as another way of competing with FI. But I dont want to be jumping to any conclusions. If they are adament on keeping that date, we might ask FMIL (it's her sister's kid) if she could talk to them but there has been a bit of a rift in their family over a similar thing (This particular sister and another each decide to throw their own Christmas Party on December 26th and made the entire family decide which one they wanted to go to, when it was technically the other sister's year to do it because they did it alternating years till that point) I am not sure if FMIL would want to, if it will work or if it will just cause more drama. AmJam - Exactly! I would never consider getting married the same day as another cousin, it just seems like a really petty thing to do. There are so many other days in the year, I would pick another. I dont understand why it has to be this one. I will keep you guys updated =)
Posted by DileniN[/QUOTE]

From all of that, I would say it is definately a power thing. trying to prove that your FI isnt really as good as everyone seems to think, therefore everyone in the family will go to HER son's wedding instead. I would almost bet that his mom may be behind this, and he is going along because he is tired of being compared. Good luck and I wouldnt worry about it. IF they keep that date, AFTER your STD's go out, Im sure the family will rally around and make it clear that it was wrong of them to make people choose and hopefully pressure them to change. Unless they enable. What Christmas party did they all end up going to. That may give you a guage to see how the family handles this sister/cousin when they do things that are off for the family (does that make sense?)

RMcDougle · December 2012

Wow I'm really impressed with how well you're handling this. Considering they are having the wedding at someone's house, the date is so flexible.. it's not like their dream venue only had THAT date available (and even in that case, it's rude). This just makes it seem so deliberate..

I agree with other posters.. since they are clearly being ridiculous and petty, I would hope that the family will recognize it and stand up for you guys. Good luck; stay cool!

Liane28 · December 2012

Do they not realize that most people will probably be attending YOUR wedding instead of THEIRS, since everyone knew about yours first?

I am sure they will reconsider!

Good luck!

Ah wedding date conflict.

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