April 2013 Weddings

TY question

Okay, this might be a stupid question but I am going to ask anyways...

I have gone to a few weddings, as a bridesmaid and a guest; and I have given a gift both at the shower (from me) and the actual wedding (from my FI and I together). I received a thank you for the shower gift each time, but only once did I receive a TY for the monetary gift from the both of us. Is that normal? Do people really not write TY's because they already said it once? 

To me, the shower is a separate event from the actual wedding so of course I think a TY is necessary. I just found it very rude that I didn't receive one; but it happened more than once and I am curious what you all think and planned on doing.
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Re: TY question

  • Each gift deserves a thank you. I don't know about "normal" but out of the 7 people that sent us engagment gifts 5 of them contacted my FMIL saying how surprised they were to receive prompt personal thank you notes. FI and I haven't gotten thank you notes from the last 3 weddings we've been to. I think it's super rude not to send a thank you but that most people don't. 
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  • Christine9866Christine9866 member
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    edited October 2012
    I agree with PP, each gift deserves a thank you :) Every wedding/shower we have been do we have received both.
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  • I think both gifts/events should receive a thank you :-)
  • I also agree with PP.  I will write TY notes for every gift we get at every separate occasion :-)
  • I agree with PPs all gifts deserve a thank you. We plan on writing them for every gift we recieve. Just a random thought- were the monetary gifts cash or check? Its not unlikely for a cash gift to be stolen, maybe the couple never recived it?


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  • It's extremely rude not to send a thank you for both gifts.  I mean come on... it's not like you gave them $1 for their wedding gift.  It's usually a significant amount of money and the giver should be thanked formally - with a thank you note.  We plan on writing thank you notes for every gift we receive, no matter who it's from or what the event is. 

    On a side note, I have TOTALLY called up brides and said something like "We were at your wedding a few months ago and left a card with money in it.  We never received a thank you note, so I just wanted to make sure you got our gift."  9 times out of 10, a thank you card shows up in the mail within a week.  I don't mean to be a B, but I want to make sure they actually GOT the money because we're not cheap with our gifting, and greedy people with bad manners annoy me.
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  • Oh that is so rude, and very against ettiquette, to not give a thank you card for any gift. Showers, engagement parties, weddings.... All of it deserves a thank you note! I'm irked because I didn't get one from 2 weddings and a shower this year. I mean, that is so rude! So, yes, one should def. be written!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_ty-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:3e0dc000-bb11-4e96-aff2-372b3c1275efPost:46d93fcf-3c39-421a-a5d7-231574209774">Re: TY question</a>:
    [QUOTE]  On a side note, I have TOTALLY called up brides and said something like "We were at your wedding a few months ago and left a card with money in it.  We never received a thank you note, so I just wanted to make sure you got our gift."  9 times out of 10, a thank you card shows up in the mail within a week.  I don't mean to be a B, but I want to make sure they actually GOT the money because we're not cheap with our gifting, and greedy people with bad manners annoy me.
    Posted by ChiGirl2013[/QUOTE]

    This is why they say only give checks- because then no one can steal them and you can easily tell if someone cashed it or not and is just rude with the thank you card. But if they never cash it for a month or so, then it's easy to call and ask- did you get it, I notice it hasn't been cashed??
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  • We've always given cash because A) they can take it with them on their honeymoon if they're leaving right away (and if they go to a different country, we usually change it in for local currency.)  and B) The few times we've given checks, it has been FOREVER until they cashed them and it messes up my bank account royally. 

    My family has had a card box stolen from the reception hall before, so now most of us use a silk wedding card bag instead. People give cards directly to the bride or groom and usually one of the bridal party or one of the parents is in charge of holding on to the bag all night. 

    For some, it's easier to give checks, for others it's not.  It's a matter of preference.  But cash or check - I'll still call and ask about it if I don't receive a thank you within 2-3 months.  That should be plenty of time for people to write their thank yous if they do a few each night.  There's absolutely NO excuse not to write a thank you note, regardless of whether you get cash or a check.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_ty-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:3e0dc000-bb11-4e96-aff2-372b3c1275efPost:f1a860ab-7454-4086-b437-824ee4c02508">Re: TY question</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with PPs all gifts deserve a thank you. We plan on writing them for every gift we recieve. <strong>Just a random thought- were the monetary gifts cash or check? Its not unlikely for a cash gift to be stolen, maybe the couple never recived it?
    </strong>Posted by redjellybean128[/QUOTE]

    We usually give cash, but the specific one I am referring to I was a BM and I handed the bride the card AT her house before we even got ready... and no thank you. and at the time, I was a full time student, working 2 jobs, and we gave her a pretty decent amount and I was bummed to not have it at least acknowledged...

    But thank you all for your responses, I am glad that I wasn't being too anal and over thinking it!
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