I need advice!

kittenlittle79 · November 2010

I have an awkard situation. I am planning my wedding for February 2011. We are all very excited and having a blast with the planning. However, in a discussion with my future mother in law earlier today we realized the date of the wedding is going to end up being a problem, but it also cannot be changed at this point. My futre brother in law will be getting married in June in Germany. I will not be able to get an updated passport by the date we will need to leave for Germany. I have two ways to circumvent this. First, we can get married by the justice of the peace, and have a religious ceremony in Feb, or keep my current name until we return from Germany. As I still hold my name from a previous marriage, all parties involved (my self included) find this unacceptable. So, therefore, option one is the more viable. This poses another problem. How do we reasonably word the invitaions to reflect that the religious ceremony is the intended begining of our marriage, and how does the pastor administer the vows? Is it ok to use my current name on the invitations and in the ceremony even though by that time it will have to have been legally changed to enable me to get a passport? Help.

MyNameIsNot · November 2010

It would make more sense to just go through a legal name change process now rather than to have your wedding now.

Just pay the rush fee for your passport or leave your legal name alone until Jully.

You can change your name on your marriage license and start using your new name right away for everything else, but keep your passport in your current name until the trip.

aerinpegadrak · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:16970d25-8680-4778-9df1-9ed181762ea5Post:f01ff004-5f46-428f-ac67-189ff42e1444">I need advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]I have an awkard situation. I am planning my wedding for February 2011. We are all very excited and having a blast with the planning. However, in a discussion with my future mother in law earlier today we realized the date of the wedding is going to end up being a problem, but it also cannot be changed at this point. My futre brother in law will be getting married in June in Germany. I will not be able to get an updated passport by the date we will need to leave for Germany. I have two ways to circumvent this. First, we can get married by the justice of the peace, and have a religious ceremony in Feb, or keep my current name until we return from Germany. As I still hold my name from a previous marriage, all parties involved (my self included) find this unacceptable. So, therefore, option one is the more viable. This poses another problem. How do we reasonably word the invitaions to reflect that the religious ceremony is the intended begining of our marriage, and how does the pastor administer the vows? Is it ok to use my current name on the invitations and in the ceremony even though by that time it will have to have been legally changed to enable me to get a passport? Help.
Posted by kittenlittle79[/QUOTE]
Isn't the rush fee something like $60 extra bucks? Pretty much what you'd be paying the JOP anyway? So you'd be making your wedding infinitely more complicated and likely pissing off a lot of your nearest and dearest all in order for absolutely no financial gain? Yeah, that makes sense...

AdeleDazeem · November 2010

I'm honestly **floored** that your solution to this non-situation is to get married by the JOP. It's like putting out a candle with a fire extinguisher.

If you are so concerned you won't have the passport in time to get to your future brother in law's wedding, then just don't change your name. You've had your name for awhile now (even if it is your ex's name) so what is a few more months? Ignore the symbolism and be realistic.

aerinpegadrak · November 2010

Also, FWIW, I didn't bother to start initiating the name change process until something like three months after the wedding. It wasn't that I don't love my husband or had an attachment to my maiden name or anything like that, it was that I wanted to be able to make the changes in person rather than via mail or phone and risk screw-ups, and it was a little while after the wedding until I felt comfortable taking that time off work. I know lots of people who waited to legally take their husband's name for one reason or another. I think you're reading way too much into what it would mean to keep your current name for a few months longer.

But seriously, passports do not take four months to go through. The State Department's website says 10 weeks at most, more typically 4-6. You could order a new passport like three times between your wedding and your trip.

I need advice!

Re: I need advice!

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