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People Responding to Save the Dates as if they are Invitations?

travelerkristravelerkris member
First Comment
in Chit Chat
We sent our save-the-dates to our friends and family this past month and they seem to be causing confusion.  We sent them to the person we knew - in other words, not to everyone in the family by name, and not to anyone along with their boyfriend/fiance's names.  We intended to invite everyone by name three months from now on the formal invitations.  It was a basic "save the date" card with our wedding website information, notes about lodging (it is a destination wedding for half some of the guests as we live in England now, but the wedding is in California where I am from), and it had a magnet with our picture on it.

We've gotten several congratulations-but-I-can't-come notes in the mail, which I was surprised by, since these aren't formal invitations, and there was no RSVP mention or insert.  I've also been contacted by several friends/family members asking if their significant other/kids are invited. 

I'm a little baffled because these weren't the invitations, and they weren't meant to be.  Has anyone else had this happen?  I'm considering an email to explain that we are intending on having plus-ones for everyone, but I'm afraid that will just make things worse.  Shall I wait for the formal invitations to go out in September and then it will all be clear?  Thought?  Thanks so much. 
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Re: People Responding to Save the Dates as if they are Invitations?

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    kikirst33kikirst33 member
    First Comment
    I had some responses like this when I sent my Save The Date postcards.

    I actually recieved a text from my cousin saying that they would be there but didn't know how to RSVP.  (MY STD card indicated that a formal invitation would follow).

    IMHO the invitation with the formal RSVP card will be the final say-so.  You can mark down the notes that you recieved as an FYI for yourself but you may have some people change their plans between the STD and the formal invites.

    Don't let this stress you out - it could be that they have never seen a STD and just don't know how to respond. 
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    honeybear072012honeybear072012
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I had the same thing happen...I sent ours out way early because all of FI's family is coming from out of town so I wanted people to be able to plan.  No one from his family contacted me but a lot of people contacted his mom asking what the deal was and why it didn't say certain things and stuff like that.  Most people got it but a few didn't.

    IMHO STDs are so new that a lot of people don't know what they are or how to handle them.  Just be patient and explain to anyone who contacts you that they're not a formal invitaiton just a heads up of what's going on so they can start planning.

    Also, don't not sending someone a formal invite to the wedding just because they said no.  Something might change and they can come and then you've offended people.  Also, don't invite more people than you should because someone told you no now...You might end up with a bunch of people coming and you don't have room and then you're in trouble.

    Good luck!
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    bongebonge member
    First Comment
    i only had one person tell me they couldn't make it. Did you say formal invitation to follow? that is what i did, maybe people do not know what they are. My gram got one last year & up till then i had no clue about them. 
    230 image Invited
    154 image Are ready to party
    56 image Missing out
    20 image Can't find the mailbox (tick tock)

    RSVP Date: 6/1/2012
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