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New Jersey - South

Vendor Pressure Vent

I had *almost* booked a really expensive SJ photographer for our wedding - granted, i did like the work his studio did - but to be honest, I liked his assistant's work better and I couldn't hire just her (I had to book him and then pay nearly double for her time as a second photographer) - when yesterday, I met with a different photographer from a different company and really liked the pictures and the costs for all the things I wanted were almost 3k less (in a comparable package to what I would be getting with the other guy). I wrote an email to the photographer we were going to book letting him know what was going on and that I would be going with a different photographer after I had reconsidered.

Anyway, he just sent me the most awful email about how I must be *cheap* and don't care about my pictures and they will probably disintegrate after a year. I didn't mention who the other photographer was...but it left me feeling really crappy. So now I'm second guessing myself and wondering if I am making a mistake going with someone so significantly less expensive. Now my mind is going "well, there must be something wrong here, right?" 

... Anyone experiencing similar situations? (lol as if wedding planning hasn't been giving me nightmares already!)
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Re: Vendor Pressure Vent

  • Kim84mKim84m member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If I were you I would feel RELIEVED that I hadn't booked with such a jerk!  It angers me that anyone would respond that way!  All that matters is you book someone who's pictures you like, and treats you well.  Expensive doesn't always mean better.  
    .
  • Kim84mKim84m member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    And to answer you question, I haven't had exactly that happen to me, but when I was planning my wedding I had several vendors get under my skin.  I had a dj company that called and emailed nearly every day and when I told him I booked someone else he demanded to know who I booked and what I paid, and I just hung up on him.  I don't know how some people stay in business.
    .
  • angel33284angel33284 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    The common perception is that when comparing vendors you are always comparing apples and apples. It's hard to put a price on experience and dedication. The guy who charges more may have spent years learning and going to conferences to fine tune his craft. He may spend extra hours touching up photos that another photographer might just glance over.

    Look at it this way - if you were falsely accused of murder and had a choice of two lawyers, would you want the kid fresh out of law school or the grumpy old man who has been defending people for 30 years? They both have law degrees, but are you still comparing apples and apples?
  • edited December 2011
    All I can say here is that if that is how he is acting without having any of your money, imagine what his behavior would be once he actually gets it? My sister had a photographer on her wedding day that the bridal party really disliked working with because he was rude and it made the day pretty long for everyone. I recommend going with whoever you think will give you the quality you expect and also who will make that day more enjoyable.

    As far as whether or not he has the right to charge more... there may be many reasons why he is so much more expensive. But imo the professional way to handle it is to right back and say something like "I understand your concerns on price, let me show you what I'm giving you for the money and why it's with more or maybe we could work with your budget to find something more in your price range."  I would look for reviews of the actual photographers on Wedding Wire or something to see how brides rate their experiences dealing with both to see if there is a quality issue with the less expensive photographer.

    The other thing is using scare tactics for a bride when they're already so nervous about things going well is just wrong! Even if you decide you want to go with someone a little higher for peace of mind it will get you better quality, I still wouldn't go with the first one after that behavior. Good luck!!
  • Laurie109Laurie109 member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the support, Ladies! Totally threw me for a loop this morning - I was so thrilled about choosing my photographer and then his email made me question everything. As I'm sure you all have felt, I just want everything to be perfect that day.

    All of the reasons he *suggested* I choose him over the other photographer - I went and asked the new photographer if he had the same/similar/equivalent training, certifications, photo editing abilities, and attention to detail...and you know what, I got a yes to all. No pressure. Nothing.

    Also, the other guy sent me three subsequent emails asking me to call him to discuss. I get that this is my *first* (only) wedding and I'm not expert, but berating me on my choices and telling me how I don't know anything about photography and that choosing anyone else "would be a huge detriment to the success of your event" was a BIT much! I think I really dodged a bullet here...and after reviewing my new photographers website again, I'm feeling really confident that I'm making the right decision and saving some money too (which photography by the way (after venue) was my biggest splurge item).


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  • Musicheals71Musicheals71 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Laurie, you did the right thing, don't second-guess yourself.

    It doesn't matter how "perfect" a photographer looks on paper.  If he's treating you this way now, imagine what a nightmare he would be on your wedding day!!  I agree with Kim:  expensive doesn't always mean better esp. when it comes to good old-fashioned customer service!
  • Jamy0807Jamy0807 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Price doesn't mean a thing. There are people who just love what they do and don't have to charge an arm and a leg. I met Tony Hoffer, and while I loved him, the price he charged was $8000. I went with Marc Anthony who does exactly the same level of work and paid nearly half the price. No vendor should have responded to you that way even if that's what they feel.
  • angel33284angel33284 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Vendor Pressure Vent:
    Price doesn't mean a thing. There are people who just love what they do and don't have to charge an arm and a leg. I met Tony Hoffer, and while I loved him, the price he charged was $8000. I went with Marc Anthony who does exactly the same level of work and paid nearly half the price. No vendor should have responded to you that way even if that's what they feel.
    Posted by Jamy0807

    Maybe Marc is more your taste, so it's good you wet with him, but his work doesn't compare to Hoffer. I think all you have to do is check out Hoffer's website and you can clearly see that he doesn't some cool creative stuff that not every photographer does. Is he worth $8000? For some people he must be. Somebody must be paying him that amount or he wouldn't be able to live.

  • edited December 2011
    I can't believe the arrogance.  You should be thrilled you didn't book the first guy.  Imagine what a pain he'd be on your wedding day.
  • angel33284angel33284 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Vendor Pressure Vent:
    The other thing is using scare tactics for a bride when they're already so nervous about things going well is just wrong! Even if you decide you want to go with someone a little higher for peace of mind it will get you better quality, I still wouldn't go with the first one after that behavior. Good luck!!
    Posted by Rangergirl

    I have some training in sales, and from the seller's perspective, if he truly thinks he will provide a better service than another photographer the "scare" tactics are justified. We can't know this now. But if after the wedding the bride is completely unhappy with the photos from photographer 2, then photographer 1 will be proven correct in his assessment.

    He's got a mortgage to pay and the bride wants awesome pictures, so closing the deal, regardless of the method, can't be considered unethical. He's just trying to meet the needs of the client.

  • Kim84mKim84m member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Vendor Pressure Vent:
    In Response to Re: Vendor Pressure Vent : I have some training in sales, and from the seller's perspective, if he truly thinks he will provide a better service than another photographer the "scare" tactics are justified. We can't know this now. But if after the wedding the bride is completely unhappy with the photos from photographer 2, then photographer 1 will be proven correct in his assessment. He's got a mortgage to pay and the bride wants awesome pictures, so closing the deal, regardless of the method, can't be considered unethical. He's just trying to meet the needs of the client.
    Posted by angel33284
    Uh, don't you mean he's trying to meet his needs to pay his mortgage?  Hello, we ALL have a mortgage to pay. That doesn't give anyone the right to be arrogant and rude.  Photographer 1 has NO IDEA who photographer 2 is or what their quality of work is.  He's just trying to make the client feel bad for not hiring him.  It's both unprofessional and childish. 
    .
  • angel33284angel33284 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Vendor Pressure Vent:
    In Response to Re: Vendor Pressure Vent : Uh, don't you mean he's trying to meet his needs to pay his mortgage?  Hello, we ALL have a mortgage to pay. That doesn't give anyone the right to be arrogant and rude.  Photographer 1 has NO IDEA who photographer 2 is or what their quality of work is.  He's just trying to make the client feel bad for not hiring him.  It's both unprofessional and childish. 
    Posted by Kim84m

    As usual, somebody on the Knot read something into my post that wasn't there.

    If a life insurance saleman pressures you into buying a million dollar life insurance policy to take care of your kids, and then the next day you get hit by a car and die, is the life insurance saleman a bad person for pressuring you to buy?

    And despite what you think the guy has every right to be arrogant and rude. He is a self employed artist, not the complaint department at Comcast. He is, at the least, very confident in his work. Some people would see this as a good thing. If it conflicts with the personality of the bride then so be it. 

  • Musicheals71Musicheals71 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    You use some pretty far-out examples, Angel.  Photography is NOT a life-and-death situation!  If Laurie felt uncomfortable with Photographer #1's sales tatics, then she had every right to choose someone else!  What is wrong with you?  You're always starting crap on this board!  Believe it or not, your [email protected] stinks just like everyone elses!
  • angel33284angel33284 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Vendor Pressure Vent:
    You use some pretty far-out examples, Angel.  Photography is NOT a life-and-death situation!  If Laurie felt uncomfortable with Photographer #1's sales tatics, then she had every right to choose someone else!  What is wrong with you?  You're always starting crap on this board!  Believe it or not, your [email protected] stinks just like everyone elses!
    Posted by Musicheals71

    Wow. I made two very neutral posts; not in favor of either the bride or the vendor. I just tried to explain some of the psychology behind how the sales process works. And you come on and attack me for no reason. It seems like you just like to attack people on here. You appear to have lots of anger issues and I think you should go back and read my posts and try to understand them before you attack me again. 

    I'd even go as far as to say you owe me an apology, but I know that isn't going to happen with you.

    BTW - we're still waiting to see your wonderful $650 wedding video that you promised us when you figured out how to get it online. You really don't know how to get a video off a DVD and upload it? Here's a hint - google.com

  • Musicheals71Musicheals71 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Vendor Pressure Vent:
    In Response to Re: Vendor Pressure Vent : Wow. I made two very neutral posts; not in favor of either the bride or the vendor. I just tried to explain some of the psychology behind how the sales process works. And you come on and attack me for no reason. It seems like you just like to attack people on here. You appear to have lots of anger issues and I think you should go back and read my posts and try to understand them before you attack me again.  I'd even go as far as to say you owe me an apology, but I know that isn't going to happen with you. BTW - we're still waiting to see your wonderful $650 wedding video that you promised us when you figured out how to get it online. You really don't know how to get a video off a DVD and upload it? Here's a hint - google.com
    Posted by angel33284
    STFU!  You're superior-than-thou attitude is not welcome on this board!

    BTW, StacyLynn702 and Nicole8586 on the Philly Board also used the same videographer that I used.  Why don't you go attack them while you're at it?
  • edited December 2011

    I have been in retail, sales and customer service for over 15 years now. I've learned all about sales and approaches and everything else. And I also know that as a bride, the more someone tried to preasure me into booking something, the less likely I was to go with them. When I used the term "scare tactics" what I meant was the thing about her pictures disintegrating... trying to tell a bride there may be a quality issue with a less expensive photographer is great but there is a tactful way to do it and that wasn't it.
    There's nothing wrong with spending money when you have it, but not everyone does and trying to make someone think that if they don't have the money to go with something more expensive that all of a sudden now they're going to get stuck with crap isn't exactly the way to win a bride over. To me, it sounds like his ego took a hit because a bride choose someone less expensive than him and he tried to make her feel bad for it. Also, I don't consider calling a bride "cheap" to be a sales method or using "he has to pay his mortgage" as a valid defense for insulting her like that. You may not see yourself as defending the vendor, but justifying his behavior IS defending him... it's not okay for a vendor to call a bride names or insult her.

  • angel33284angel33284 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Vendor Pressure Vent:
    IStacyLynn702 and Nicole8586 on the Philly Board also used the same videographer that I used.  Why don't you go attack them while you're at it?
    Posted by Musicheals71

    Because despite what you may think you're not as popular here as you may believe. I know this because some people have PM'd me and told me you are a blowhard. And I don't attack those other brides because they weren't stupid enough to book a videographer, recommend him all over town, and then find out he went out of business. How many bride's wedding do you think you caused problems with by recommending that loser? Then you get some $650 hack and start doing the same thing. And to no surprise you are so excited about how great your video came out that you won't take two minutes to find out how to extract it from the DVD. Or maybe take 30 seconds to compose an email to the guy to create a web version and upload it to YouTube for you.

    I really want to see this train wreck of a wedding you put together.

    I'll give 20-1 odds that musicheals becomes a wedding planner now. Any takers?

  • Musicheals71Musicheals71 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Vendor Pressure Vent:
    In Response to Re: Vendor Pressure Vent : Because despite what you may think you're not as popular here as you may believe. I know this because some people have PM'd me and told me you are a blowhard. And I don't attack those other brides because they weren't stupid enough to book a videographer, recommend him all over town, and then find out he went out of business. How many bride's wedding do you think you caused problems with by recommending that loser? Then you get some $650 hack and start doing the same thing. And to no surprise you are so excited about how great your video came out that you won't take two minutes to find out how to extract it from the DVD. Or maybe take 30 seconds to compose an email to the guy to create a web version and upload it to YouTube for you. I really want to see this train wreck of a wedding you put together. I'll give 20-1 odds that musicheals becomes a wedding planner now. Any takers?
    Posted by angel33284
    I'm done with you.

    Laurie:  sorry for this mess on your post.  You're doing the right thing.
  • Musicheals71Musicheals71 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Vendor Pressure Vent:
    I have been in retail, sales and customer service for over 15 years now. I've learned all about sales and approaches and everything else. And I also know that as a bride, the more someone tried to preasure me into booking something, the less likely I was to go with them. When I used the term "scare tactics" what I meant was the thing about her pictures disintegrating... trying to tell a bride there may be a quality issue with a less expensive photographer is great but there is a tactful way to do it and that wasn't it. There's nothing wrong with spending money when you have it, but not everyone does and trying to make someone think that if they don't have the money to go with something more expensive that all of a sudden now they're going to get stuck with crap isn't exactly the way to win a bride over. To me, it sounds like his ego took a hit because a bride choose someone less expensive than him and he tried to make her feel bad for it. Also, I don't consider calling a bride "cheap" to be a sales method or using "he has to pay his mortgage" as a valid defense for insulting her like that. You may not see yourself as defending the vendor, but justifying his behavior IS defending him... it's not okay for a vendor to call a bride names or insult her.
    Posted by Rangergirl
    Well said!
  • edited December 2011
    i got an amazing deal on my wedding photographer...he was amazing and wonderful.  Very professional and went above and beyond what we asked for!
    Paul Dempsey Photography is who we used and he has been amazing to work with!  and extremely reasonable. I loved his work....

    i would never book with anyone because they made me feel bad...just because something cost more, does NOT always mean its better quality!
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  • edited December 2011

    I booked with Paul Dempsey!!!!! I am so glad  you had a great experience with him!!!!!!!!

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  • zipfmzipfm member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Laurie - ultimately I think you're doing the right thing - regardless of price.  All of the vendors I have so far are people that I feel extremely comfortable with and that I'm excited to have at my wedding.  Especially with a photographer - this person is going to be with you most of the day capturing intimate moments.  Your pictures will be better if you're are comfortable and happy - regardless of the cost.
  • Laurie109Laurie109 member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone for your support! Sorry this turned a little crazy - not my original intention. The situation bummed me out and was wondering if anyone else was running into this with dealing with their potential vendors. Nice to have a network of people who can understand the pressures!
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