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Boyfriend going into military, and having planning problems

hugreenhugreen
First Comment
in Military Brides
So as of right now, my boyfriend and I are planning to get engaged within the next few months, but he will be shipped off to boot camp in November of this year. We want to get married before that, but I'll be living at home until he gets out. If he gets the job he wants, we won't be able to get a place together for almost another 2 years because of MOS training. :(

Now we're having trouble on deciding on a lot of things. The two main ones at this early stage is:

Should we have a big wedding, and what the heck do we register for?

I personally want a big wedding first, only because I feel to have a small wedding and then have a big one after he gets out of mos training kind of takes some of the fun/excitment out of it. And of course that's extra money that could be put to something else, like a car payment or something.

And then for the registries, we wouldn't want house stuff because it would be 2 years before it got to be really used! And of course by then all the gift receipts, etc., would be out of date so if anything didn't work or we decided on something else when we did find a place, we'd kind of be at a loss.

Any suggestions, maybe share your story if you've gone through something similar?

Thank you!
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Re: Boyfriend going into military, and having planning problems

  • calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You can certainly plan a wedding before November, if that's what you want to do!  Perhaps schedule it for September so you can have a bit of time to fill out the paperwork with the military?

    Plan the wedding you want - you may have to compromise a bit on vendors and venues at this point as several are probably booked already, but you'll be just fine if you keep an open mind and try to be flexible!

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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ditto calindi about plan the wedding you want for before he leaves. 

    As for a registry, do a small one with things you could easily store (towels, sheets, etc.).  Most people will know your situation and give you monetary gifts or gift cards to the store to be used later.  We had our wedding before PCS-ing cross country, and we got many monetary gifts and gift cards because everyone knew we were moving.
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  • jackieandbillyjackieandbilly
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You definitely have enough time before November, if that's the major concern! If that would solve problems, go for it- my wedding is in October, all we have is venue ( my parents' house, caterer and my dress) be sure to look for military discounts and put military clauses in your contracts- ppl will understand the limited time when you mention military order.
    As far as registering, you could do a honeymoon registry. We're not doing that, because we have absolutely nothing for the house haha but this way you could put $ away fo when you do get to celebrate your honeymoon, and I'm sure you'll still get some traditional gifts like linens and towels for your bridal shower.

    Good luck, keep us updated on what you decide to do!!
    Nimi and Little Bite Photobucket
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  • shan87shan87
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are having a small registry <100  items (326 people invited), we are moving shortly after the wedding and I would rather get money/gift cards and purchase things we need after the move then move everything. We decided a small registry and spreading word of mouth we are moving will give people the message that we don't really need "things." In your case I would try to rack your brain for things you guys could use before the move or items you could use until then. To give those that really want to get you gifts the opportunity too.

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  • hugreenhugreen
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you so much everyone! As of right now, we're thinking of doing the wedding around sept/oct. We want to do a small-ish wedding to cut down on costs, but still have the close family and friends we want there.

    As for registries, I think we might get around the registries expiring by putting a date much, much farther in the future so we can still return things via gift purchase logs... At least I know I can do this with a Target registry (working there does have its perks hahaha). We'll probably just ask for kitchen appliances in a basic color like black or white, and keep them in my parents house safely in some totes. This will probably make moving easier too! I also like the idea of a honeymoon registry! I've never heard of that before.
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  • calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Just be warned that a honeymoon registry can be kind of controversial - I personally am not bothered by them, but it can look like you're asking for money, which is generally frowned upon by the Miss Manners of the world.

    Also, be sure you get a good one - some of them charge a percentage, which sort of defeats the purpose because if these people wrote checks, you'd get all the money.  Be sure to read the fine print to get one that will give you all the money - I think I heard HoneyFund is a good one?  But don't take my word for it - I haven't done any research.

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  • jackieandbillyjackieandbilly
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, I've heard some bad stories about honeymoon registries...I should have included more info. I don't know much more, since that's not what we're doing (I'm so excited for all the household stuff yayy!) but I'm sure TK and tons of other websites have more info.
    If you don't want to do that, but still want the majority of wedding gifts to be monetary, there are cute ways to receive checks at the wedding. My mom's obsessed with the birdcage ideas- people slip envelopes in between, you can decorate it really nicely. Whichever works for you, I'm sure people would really want to gift you something you really want and could use:)
    Nimi and Little Bite Photobucket
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  • hugreenhugreen
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ah, okay. Yeah I haven't looked into the honeymoon registries, but it did sound interesting. I'll have to do some research before making any final decisions anyways.
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  • jessicalynn1988jessicalynn1988
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm not aware of your monetary situation or location, but I know I've got a cheap little storage unit near my parents' that I am keeping everything in right now. You mentioned you could store things at your parents, so it seems you got it pretty much figured out. But having the storage unit has been a blessing for me as I'm going to be moving (potentially) 3 times in the next 8 months, and I dont have to move things I'd never unpack.

    Just another option :)
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