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Full Mass - Worried about Non-Catholics

anniemcd1anniemcd1
First Comment
in Catholic Weddings
Is anyone else worried about the non-catholics at your full mass ceremony?  I know that it is my wedding, and I should worry about other people but I do.  The majority of our guestlist is Catholic but there are a handful that aren't. I guess I just want to know if anyone else is worried about the non-catholics?
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Re: Full Mass - Worried about Non-Catholics

  • akg0053akg0053 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Since I converted, NONE of my family is Catholic. We are doing a full mass because it's really important to us.

    We are providing extremely detailed programs so that the non-Catholics can follow along, and our priest is going to mention something about how non-Catholics can't receive communion, but are welcome to come up for a blessing and explain how to go about doing that. 

    Because we are taking these measures, I'm not worried at all about the non-Catholics.
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  • blackfire5thblackfire5th
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    edited December 2011
    Ditto PP.  We had a detailed program and made a reference to the page in the missal that goes over communion.  I believe our priest also mentioned something.  There were a few people from DH's family that went up to receive the blessing.


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  • Theresa626Theresa626 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i'm providing a detailed program with the order of the mass and all of the songs and I'm having the priest ask non catholics to come up for a blessing and i'm also writing it in the program. 
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  • ring_popring_pop member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If non-Catholics are the just the minority of the guest list, they'll just stand when everyone else stands and sit when everyone else sits. The only special thing you need to be concerned is about is alerting them that communion is only for Catholics in good standing, but most priests do this at weddings. A program is always nice to provide, of course.
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  • Riss91Riss91 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_full-mass-worried-non-catholics?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:3c8fe92e-6a80-48ee-8484-e98513337a46Post:444ad2e2-34ec-466a-b77f-2d117775e671">Re: Full Mass - Worried about Non-Catholics</a>:
    [QUOTE]If non-Catholics are the just the minority of the guest list, they'll just stand when everyone else stands and sit when everyone else sits. The only special thing you need to be concerned is about is alerting them that communion is only for Catholics in good standing, but most priests do this at weddings. A program is always nice to provide, of course.
    Posted by ring_pop[/QUOTE]

    This exactly. I've been to plenty of non-Cathoic weddings and never felt really uncomfortable, even without programs and not really knowing much about the other religions' ceremonies. I'm sure most guests are not going to be bothered, so don't worry too much! We had a traditional Catholic mass in Latin. Everything but the vows and the homily was in Latin, so we provided an English translation to our guests. We were told it was the most beautiful ceremony and our guests felt that it was really special and most of them had not been to a Latin mass.

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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    ditto Riss.  we had the latin too, and i'm sure many of our guests, the majority of whom were catholic, were not that involved as it was unfamiliar to them, but it wasnt about them.

    do you reallly think jewish folks or buddhist folks feel "uncomfortable" about how their guests may or may not feel at their ceremonies?  no way. 
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  • berrytrberrytr
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Most of my guests are non-Catholics and I am providing a detailed program to assist their ability to follow along in the Mass.  I am looking forward to having the opportunity to teach others about my faith in this way.
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  • KRPadillaKRPadilla
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am currently planning my second wedding.  My first wedding was a full Catholic mass, roughly half of our guests were non-Catholic.  It was not a problem at all.  There was some laughter when five out of my six bridesmaids were non-Catholic and finished the Lord's Prayer in a protestant fashion.  But, there was no harm or foul...just a simple chuckle throughout the crowd.  Other than that...not a problem at all.
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  • GulfCoasterGulfCoaster
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I'm a convert, so none of my family is Catholic, and only a few of my friends are.  DH's family is Catholic, so a little less than 1/2 of our guests were Catholic.  We had a full Mass because it was very important to the two of us.  We provided a pretty extensive program with a lot of the text of the Mass -- not all of the words of the priest's prayers were included, but a lot of them were, and we included all the congregation's responses.  It turned out just fine.

    As a PP said, many individuals attend wedding ceremonies outside of their religious tradition, and they just plan on following the crowd.  That's what I'll do when I'm a bridesmaid in a Jewish friend's ceremony next month.  ;-)

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  • Jay+MarissaJay+Marissa member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We plan to provide a detailed program as well. We also were a little more picky with our readings--we knew some people would construe a few of them in the wrong way :)
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  • Karen's MOHKaren's MOH
    First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    If the non-Catholics are in the minority I agree with PPs that it won't be a big deal. Providing explanations in the program is a very thoughtful touch for people who might not understand everything. When I was a bridesmaid at a Jewish wedding, where the bride had converted therefore most of her family was not Jewish, the rabbi really made sure to explain what was happening so the non-Jewish folks understood and it made the whole experience more meaningful.

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  • skyblondeskyblonde member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_full-mass-worried-non-catholics?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:3c8fe92e-6a80-48ee-8484-e98513337a46Post:f612d459-e09d-4d7a-afee-3519b6e72626">Re: Full Mass - Worried about Non-Catholics</a>:
    [QUOTE]We plan to provide a detailed program as well. We also were a little more picky with our readings--we knew some people would construe a few of them in the wrong way :)
    Posted by Jay+Marissa[/QUOTE]

    Ugh.  This is exactly what I'm dealing with-do I pick the reading I love that is probably going to be misinterpreted or do I go with a "safer" choice that I won't have to defend later? 
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    sky, pick the readings you like and want.  folks shouldnt question your choices and if they do, tell them to stick it.  seriously.  i would love a wedding wehre someone put thought into their readings, rather than just picking the "love is patient, love is kind" reading that is given at EVERY WEDDING i go to.
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  • Riss91Riss91 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_full-mass-worried-non-catholics?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:3c8fe92e-6a80-48ee-8484-e98513337a46Post:8753722a-9657-43f3-ba70-e370cfbd848c">Re: Full Mass - Worried about Non-Catholics</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Full Mass - Worried about Non-Catholics : Ugh.  This is exactly what I'm dealing with-do I pick the reading I love that is probably going to be misinterpreted or do I go with a "safer" choice that I won't have to defend later? 
    Posted by skyblonde[/QUOTE]

    Pick the one you want...if someone has a problem with it, tell them you like the reading and you're not asking them to agree with it, but they can respect your opinions and beliefs. Don't be bullied <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />

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  • JMU_Bride09JMU_Bride09
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_full-mass-worried-non-catholics?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:3c8fe92e-6a80-48ee-8484-e98513337a46Post:f580f779-d9d7-45ab-9a72-b0be886519dd">Re: Full Mass - Worried about Non-Catholics</a>:
    [QUOTE]Since I converted, NONE of my family is Catholic. We are doing a full mass because it's really important to us. We are providing extremely detailed programs so that the non-Catholics can follow along, and our priest is going to mention something about how non-Catholics can't receive communion, but are welcome to come up for a blessing and explain how to go about doing that.  Because we are taking these measures, I'm not worried at all about the non-Catholics.
    Posted by akg0053[/QUOTE]

    Exact same situation for me
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  • iamapixieiamapixie
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    This day is about you, your fiance and your Holy Union. If the mass is important to you, then those important enough to share in this day with you two should understand that :) As I just posted in another thread, I have friends who are of all denominations including Athiest and Agnostic. They are less than thrilled about my Catholic wedding mass, but they willl be there with bells on because they know how important it is to me. Do what your pretty little bridal heart desires :)

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