Hi,
I got married in 2006. I planned every last detail to be perfect, and it was as far at the decorations, the food, my dress etc. etc.
What didn't go right was the behavior of my guests and the groom.
My mom and dad, (divorced a long time ago) were each separately being selfish and focused on their own needs the whole time. Even my bridesmaids were shocked at what jerks they were both individually being. My grandmother threatened to not show up due to some 20 year old feud between me and my crazy uncle that I had not seen in 20 years and didn't want at my wedding. My aunts were jerks, my maid of honor was obsessed with her latest boyfriend and was not there for me at all except to complain that I didn't do enough to make her stand out at the maid of honor to the guests. And my wedding planner was the biggest waste of money ever because I was dealing with all of the particulars all night. I was personally dragging chairs where they should have been at my ceremony site, I was writing checks for all of the vendors at the end of the night, taking down decorations, loading presents into our car by myself etc.
My groom was the worst though. He is such a social butterfly by nature, that he often ditches me at parties till the end of the night. I knew this ahead of time and made him promise to not do this at my wedding. But he did. I sat at our Sweetheart Table alone through most of dinner, very embarrassing, and even leveled with him outside at one point telling him that his behavior was ruining the wedding for me and begged him to stop ditching me, but he angrily brushed me off and didn't change his behavior. And also drank too much, forgot to bring my ring, never brought me a gift, even though we agreed to exchange gifts, and never took care of finding us a ride home after, even though he agreed to make that his responsibility. I ended up being afraid to get in his car because he insisted on driving us even though he had drank too much.
Once we got to our hotel, he socialized with his friends in the lobby for about an hour. I got so tired, I started to fall asleep on the lobby couch waiting for him to wrap it up with them. He chose to walk me upstairs to our suite, DROP ME OFF, and then go back down stairs to hang out with his friends more. I was trying my best to be easy going and not pick a fight on our wedding night, but needless to stay, the fact that he did that, really hurt.
Then my cousin from out of town did not have a room to stay in at the last minute for some reason, so my fiance offered to let him sleep IN OUR SUITE! He thought it would be ok because it was on a couch outside the bedroom part of our hotel suite.
we fought about all of this all night, and I cryed for hours saying I want an anullment, worrying the whole time that my cousin could hear us right outside the door. Of course we never even had sex.
We have now been married for 5 years and I can't seem to get over what a nightmarish failure my wedding day was. I resent my husband, and still feel unimportant to him in many ways all of the time. He says he is sorry, but feels the wedding day was a success because the guests had a good time and everything looked pretty and the food was good.
Should I renew my vows with him in a small private ceremony to try to replace the bad experience in my mind and start fresh? I can't think of another way to recover from this very painful experience.
Thanks for your advice.
Amber