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Need some advice on a Jewish wedding

FutureMrsF111FutureMrsF111 member
First Comment
in Jewish Weddings
Hi everyone, Im Shera and my FI is Jason. We are both Jewish but not very religious. We have hired a rabbi and are trying to have a somewhat traditional Jewish ceremony. Unfortunately neither of us is very familiar with what should be done. Our rabbi has been great in helping us map out the ceremony but I have a few questions about other parts of the evening.
First, is there any traditional music to be played while guests are arriving, while the BP is walking down the aisle and for my walk down the aisle? If it matters I am having a harp and a flute.
Second, when during the night do we dance the hora, do the blessings and is there anything during the reception that is traditionally done?
If I am leaving anything major out please let me know.
TIA for any advise you can give me.
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Re: Need some advice on a Jewish wedding

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    RachiemooRachiemoo member
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    edited December 2011

    Re: music, you can use any music you'd like (with the exception of some traditional Christian wedding music written by some anti-semites that Jews don't usually use - I don't remember the name of the songs, I'm sure someone else can weigh in on this though).


    There are some traditional Jewish/Hebrew songs.  I used the following traditional Jewish wedding music:

    Bridal party entrance: Erev Shel Shoshanim
    Bride and Parents: Dodi Li

    During ceremony, circling: Y’did Nefesh

    Recessional music: Simon Tov

    You can do the Hora at any time, I feel like it is usually done towards the beginning of the reception to get people going.  At my wedding, we were announced and then went right into our first dance and from there went right into the Hora.

    You should do the hamotzi (blessing over the challah) before you start eating.

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    FutureMrsF111FutureMrsF111 member
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the song selections. Did you play anything when guests were arriving and being seated?
    There are a few classical pieces I really like but if there is something traditional I would like to do that.
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    RedZeeRedZee member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Jews usually don't use Here Comes the Bride and I think there's another one too.

    We used mostly non-traditional music (my husband walked down the aisle to 'Another One Bites the Dust'), but when we each got to the chuppah our cantor sang a traditional song.

    We were announced and went straight into the Hora, then we did hamotzi (I think) and then we did the first dance.

    I have not seen a bouquet toss or anything garter-related at a Jewish wedding (but I think there are others on this board who have).

    A lot of people on this board like the book The New Jewish Wedding by Anita Diamond. There are a ton of other books on Jewish weddings too.
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    RachiemooRachiemoo member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_jewish-weddings_need-advice-jewish-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:399Discussion:a2183164-6f25-4056-b63c-23bd594034e5Post:ff0f34a0-0bbc-4f03-8872-48f454cf14e2">Re: Need some advice on a Jewish wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks for the song selections. Did you play anything when guests were arriving and being seated? There are a few classical pieces I really like but if there is something traditional I would like to do that.
    Posted by FutureMrsF111[/QUOTE]

    I didn't pick out anything specific for while the guests were being seated, I believe the musicians just played something standard, I think it would be nice though to do some Jewish music if you'd like.
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    dmplz02dmplz02
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    edited December 2011
    Jews don't typically use any songs by Wagner (Vagner?)

    Ditto on everything Rachiemoo said!
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    penaltyshotpenaltyshot
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Our musicians played whatever music they desired when guests were arriving. We didn't have any "traditional" music because we picked out songs that we wanted to walk to.

    For the hora, we did our entrance right into the first dance. Halfway through, the band asked everyone to come up and dance. We had a couple "party songs" to get people revved up, then did the hora, followed by the hamotzi.

    We also skipped the garter and bouquet toss, as RedZee mentioned.
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    ShoshieShoshie member
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    edited December 2011
    We did the bouquet toss to "Hakuna Matata" (my motto)
    No Garter toss, though.

    Totally get Anita Diamant's book....
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    2dBride2dBride member
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    edited December 2011
    Wagner ("Here Comes the Bride") is typically not used because he was a raging anti-Semite and the official musician of the Third Reich.  Mendelssohn ("Wedding March") is typically not used because he was a Jewish convert to Christianity.  Otherwise, you can use what you want.  Here is a link to the music we used.
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    slbriz34slbriz34
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ditto other knotties.  Depending on your musicians, you can decide whether to give them specific pieces to play while guests are being seated or allow them to do as they please.  Aside from not playing Wagner, etc., I've instructed my musicians to play anything, so long as it's a mix of classical, Jewish, and popular songs.  For the party and us, we are going to choose popular songs as we aren't very versed in Jewish music and it really wouldn't be "us" to go that route.  You can lots of flexibility here.

    As for the hora, everyone has their own preference - some do it first, others after the first dance.  We are doing our first dance and then we'll go into the hora.  GL.
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