Wedding Party

two personal attendants?

I have a big family.  I already have the bridal party picked, we have 5 on each side.  I also have two 15 year old sisters who I am trying to incorporate.  Do you think they would be old enough to both be my personal attendants?  thanks!

Re: two personal attendants?

  • libby2483libby2483 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2012
    Like Edie said, personal attendant is kind of a crappy job.  It is basically asking friends/family to work for you all day long because they didn't make the cut for the bridal party.  I would either add them to the bridal party (sides don't have to be even) or have them each do a reading.  

    On a side note, you really don't need a personal attendant.  There is nothing that a personal attendant does that you couldn't do on your own during the wedding day.  I didn't have a personal attendant, and I made it through my wedding day calm and stress-free.  I just packed an emergency kit (safety pins, band-aids, etc.) the day before.  My sister helped me get my dress and veil on.  My BMs and mom offered to help with a couple of last-minute tasks like setting up name cards and putting out the program basket.  No personal attendant necessary. 
  • thank you everyone!  They are both too shy to do a reading.  
  • Thank you!  I think I will have them just get ready with us.  
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_two-personal-attendants?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b936c25e-6ecb-42fa-b0d1-c8e5a1376adePost:92c9ad2e-82f0-4a5e-9f11-8c52939f23d5">two personal attendants?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have a big family.  I already have the bridal party picked, we have 5 on each side.  I also have two 15 year old sisters who I am trying to incorporate.  Do you think they would be old enough to both be my personal attendants?  thanks!
    Posted by jbolnick[/QUOTE]

    <div>I noticed you're from Minneapolis/St. Paul. I'm originally from Minnesota, and 3 of my bridesmaids are also from Minnesota. I know it's not seen the same in other areas, but in Minnesota, it is an absolute HONOR to be asked to be a personal attendant as long as you don't treat them as a slave. One of the girls I was going to ask to be BM alluded to loving the idea of personal attendant more than BM, and when given the choice, she chose personal attendant (she's originally from Minnesota). A close family member who I asked to do a reading also alluded to liking the idea of being a personal attendant, and the only reason I hadn't asked her is because she will  already be traveling a long distance with a newborn baby, so she's going to choose which one she wants to do closer to the wedding. I would be perfectly fine with or without personal attendants as I've gotten used to the idea of them not being included in weddings after living outside of Minnesota, but all of my friends and family in Minnesota definitely think it's completely odd to have a wedding without one or two of them. </div><div>
    </div><div>The way I figure it is, it couldn't be that bad of a thing if I had two people ask to do it. </div><div>
    </div><div>I've been a personal attendant twice, and I was completely honored to do it both times. I never once felt like I was a slave, so while I understand it seems to be a faux pas in other areas of the country, I think you'd be perfectly fine asking them. The best part of it is getting to be the person who makes sure the bride looks perfect before walking down the aisle. The first time I did it, I realized the bride would have been standing there all by herself if I wasn't there, and just at that moment, she thanked me for being there so she didn't have to be alone. It was awesome!</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_two-personal-attendants?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b936c25e-6ecb-42fa-b0d1-c8e5a1376adePost:742b99ec-5437-4e12-b99c-d4c6f5ed0d0e">Re: two personal attendants?</a>:
    [QUOTE]but all of my friends and family in Minnesota definitely think it's completely odd to have a wedding without one or two of them. WHY NOT RESPOND, "OH, BUT I DON'T WANT MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY TO DO A LICK OF WORK ON MY WEDDING DAY.  SIMPLY WON'T HEAR OF IT.  I WANT EVERYONE TO ENJOY THE PARTY. THAT'S WHY I'M DOING IT MYSELF/HIRING A DAY-OF WEDDING COORDINATOR. " WOULD YOU JUMP OFF A CLIFF BECAUSE EVERYBODY ELSE IN MINNESOTA DOES?
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    <div>Thanks for using only part of my statement so that you could take it out of context.  What I said was, "<span style="background-color:#ffffff;font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;">I would be perfectly fine with or without personal attendants as I've gotten used to the idea of them not being included in weddings after living outside of Minnesota, but all of my friends and family in Minnesota definitely think it's completely odd to have a wedding without one or two of them."  </span></div><div><span style="background-color:#ffffff;font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;">
    </span></div><div><font face="Arial"><span style="font-size:12px;">I didn't plan on having them or not having them.  I'm having them because those close to me WANTED to do it. I completely understand that they're not looked upon favorably in other parts of the country, but I haven't been able to find anyone in Minnesota who looks down upon it. That's not to say that there aren't people who don't ilke the idea there, but it is possible for a custom to be completely different from area to area. </span></font></div>
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards