April 2013 Weddings

frustration

I am sooo tired of having to settle for this wedding. I wanted a small intimate wedding and he wanted 100 people. Im settling on the amount of flowers. i settled on the cost of my dress. settling on soo many things. im tired of it. this fun time is just full of one stress after another. Can't we just be married already?

Re: frustration

  • I would say the wedding and life in generally are both going to have some compromise...but it's your wedding, too, so don't feel like you have to settle on everything! Have you talked to your FI and family about the things you're upset about? You still have time - so if cost is a factor, you may be able to squeeze something into your budget by cutting something else out. :)

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  • That is why we cut our wedding!! So we could have everything we wanted and easily afford it. Because it's only 15 people! lol. But I feel you- it's hard. But I think that's what weddings are- you have to compromise. I mean, really, it's one night. So as long as it is what you want for the most part, and what FI wants for the most part, that is good enough. You are still married by the end of the night and that is what counts! But if you are really unhappy, sit down with FI and see what can be done, because you don't want to have 5 more months of stress and not having fun with it!
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  • What are the reasons you're settling?  Is it money?  Overbearing parents/in-laws?  Stubborn FI?  I think the reasons for settling have a lot to do with how to handle the issues and not get so frustrated.

    Like the others have said - compromise is part of marriage.  Yes, we all have our idea of what we want and what will make our day perfect, but in reality, things like money and your FI's likes have to be taken into account.  If it's meddling family members, tell them to shove it if they're not paying for it.  Speak up for yourself!  If you're not happy, it's going to show and it will set the mood for a very depressing wedding. 

    Can you say "Ok, FI, you can have your way on this thing, and I will have MY way on this thing?"  That way, you get at least one thing you REALLY want/like? 

    If we had kept our original wedding date, I would have had to settle for a lot, and I wasn't willing to do it.  We had to wait an extra 2 years, and get pt jobs to add to the wedding fund, but we decided that waiting for the perfect day was better than settling for a less expensive day that neither of us would have been happy with.

    Whatever it is, I hope you're able to work it out.  A bride should enjoy at least SOME part of her big day - aside from gaining a fabulous husband, that is!
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  • I wanted maybe at max 50 people so we could do great things instead we double it and to me it seems everything will be meidiocre. Put I have had an epiphany. Thanks for the advice ladies. Glad to know when I have small freak outs there is somemone who will listen and not make me feel silly.
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