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future mother in law

lesley909lesley909
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in Michigan-Detroit
my fi and i are pretty young i am 23 and he's 27.  I am planning on doing all the traditional things, but i am ?'ing the bride/dad and groom/mother dance, my fi lost his mom last year after 4 year battle with cancer and his dad isn't around.  i think it might hurt my fathers feelings not to do this dance, but don't want jon (fi) to feel bad about his mom being gone.  any ideas? we both miss her very much and wish she could be with us on our big day :/
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Re: future mother in law

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    corinne2010corinne2010
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    edited December 2011
    Does he have a godmother? A close aunt? A grandmother? Anyone that he could dance with? DH lost his mother when he was 4, so he ended up dancing with his step mother and then did another dance with his godmother (mom's sister). It was very emotional, but it still meant alot to DH to dance with the two most important women that helped raise him. I know your situation is a bit different, but if there is someone else he can dance with, that might help the issue. I know whomever he dances with is not going to replace his mother, but it may help commemorate his mom even though she isn't there.
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    lesley909lesley909
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    edited December 2011
    his mothers, brothers, wife (so his aunt) he is pretty close with. he just doesnt want my family to think its his mom. but great idea thank you :)
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    emarston1emarston1 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_future-mother-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:53f1aa44-2cd6-413c-a5a9-139608ee4e8dPost:754cd146-4ece-42cf-ad9a-a7fc085101fb">Re: future mother in law</a>:
    [QUOTE]his mothers, brothers, wife (so his aunt) he is pretty close with. he just doesnt want my family to think its his mom. but great idea thank you :)
    Posted by lesley909[/QUOTE]
    I think you could address this at another part of the day (to make sure other guests know that it's not his mom.)  In your programs, a lot of people make a note of loved ones who have passed and this could be a great place to honor his mom.  A lot of people also do a "in memory" table where they put photos of lossed loved ones.
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    Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Is your Mom still around? While not his "mom", it will be his "mom-in-law", and if they get along really well, it might be another idea.

    Sorry to hear you are dealing with this. Hopefully you get some good ideas.
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    corinne2010corinne2010
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_future-mother-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:53f1aa44-2cd6-413c-a5a9-139608ee4e8dPost:754cd146-4ece-42cf-ad9a-a7fc085101fb">Re: future mother in law</a>:
    [QUOTE]his mothers, brothers, wife (so his aunt) he is pretty close with. he just doesnt want my family to think its his mom. but great idea thank you :)
    Posted by lesley909[/QUOTE]

    While I understand what you're trying to say here, it never once crossed my mind that I needed to explain to my guests why DH had two dances instead of one. I'm sure people questioned it, but really the ones that know your FI's backstory is really all that matters. There's no reason to explain to your family that the woman he'll be dancing with is not his mom. One way to do this in a roundabout way is to have a memory table and adding a section on the ceremony programs of the loved ones that are not able to help you celebrate your special day.
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    lesley909lesley909
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    he is very close with my mother :) good idea. all you ladies have been a great help thanks.
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