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Waiting 2 years

joe&cassiejoe&cassie
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in June 2014 Weddings
I'm starting to regret our decision to wait two years. FI and I have been together for 2.5 years now but we have known for almost 1.5 years that we wanted to get married. I know that in the long run I'll appreciate it because if we got married in 2013 I'd have to plan during student teaching and then quite possibly wouldn't have a job after marriage. It's frustrating though because people who got engaged after we did are getting married before us. I keep getting questions about why we are waiting so long and then I get people who say we need to wait longer. I'm not changing our date I just needed to vent.
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Re: Waiting 2 years

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    SugarFooteSugarFoote
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    I completely understand how you feel.

    Girls younger than me who got engaged after us, are getting married before us. I can't help but be jealous. But after that moment of jealously passes, I realize that we are doing what is right for us.

    We had our wedding pretty well planned. Venue booked, caterer, and I had an appt with a bridal salon to try on dresses. Then we changed it and I had cancel everything.

    We decided to wait so I will be done with college and be settled in a full-time job. FI just started his new job in March and about to be transferred to a better department. It's just better for us to wait. FI will have what little debt he has payed off and we will be able to save for a house.

    When we told everyone, they didn't get it. I was so ready to go into attack mode. Everyone was saying, "Oh they will never get married!" just because we pushed it back. They said I was afraid of commitment and all kinds of crazy things. The only people who understood was our family. They understand that we are doing what is best for us and that we are making the mature responsible choice.


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    joe&cassiejoe&cassie
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    I will graduate in Spring 2013 with a special education degree and will probably not have a problem finding a job.  FI will graduate in 2014.  I would die if I had to wait until 2015 for our wedding which is what my parents want.  His parents want us to get married in 2013.  I know in my heart that what we are doing is the best.  It's just hard to see everyone else getting married.  Especially since I know exactly what I want for our wedding.
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    Gustafson28Gustafson28 member
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    If you are still working on your first degree you definately made the right choice! People are being crazy and not thinking properly if they want you to get married before you have made a dent in your education. Plus you both (I assume) are young.. might as well take the time to enjoy being engaged! We are planning on getting married during my doctoral internship and FI will be working in his field for 6 years by then. No need to rush if you know what works best for the two of you :)
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    crb2013crb2013 member
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    Girl I totally understand how you feel! I know so many people who have gotten engaged after us and getting married before us, and it's frustrating!

    I was originally a July 2013 bride but my parents are making me wait until after I graduate. I don't want to wait but I suppose that it makes sense... although my final semester in college I will be student teaching, taking senior seminar, and planning a wedding. I will graduate in May 2014 and then begin to look for a house and a job. Then get married June of '14! It seems like it will be A LOT to take on in such a short amount of time. But my parents are adament about the fact that I must graduate first. Which in a way is also kind of nice because we will primarily be paying for the wedding and this way we can save up more for it.

    Back to the topic at hand, I have also found it a little annoying and frustrating that no one is excited for me because it seems so far away. Like when FI proposed, one of the first questions everyone asked was "When's the date?" And when I would tell them, not for two years, they would kind of just get this look on their faces and say "Oh" or "Geez that's a long time away." I'm like, BE HAPPY FOR ME! Waiting is the SMART thing to do, and it feels like nobody gets that!

    Anyway just wanted to let you know that I am totally in the same boat!
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    joe&cassiejoe&cassie
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    I am so glad that there are other people who understand! I guess we can all be frustrated together!  lol
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    epimentel5epimentel5 member
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    I feel the same way!!! We just got engaged this May and we are planning to get married on June 7, 2014. I feel like it's so far away, no one is telling me to wait that long if we wanted to do it next we could but I look at it this way to save for the wedding, awesome honeymoon and for a house it's good to wait two years and plus we all get to have the experience as being engaged for a little longer and can enjopy it all! But sometimes it still sucks lol It'll all be worth it in the end though
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    Kevsgirl4life08Kevsgirl4life08 member
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    I totally understand how you feel. My FI and I got engaged Dec 15th, 2011 and our wedding date is June 14, 2014... I got my degree last Aug and started my dream job this past March.. I have put much thought into changing it up one year but know my parents asked for us to have a long engagement so that way they could help out more... But it is hard when my friends who are engaged now after me are getting married or having babies.... Even though its two years away I wanna start planning and booking things now so when the time comes I'm not so stressed out but people think I'm crazy to start planning now... Should I wait? I just know we want to buy a house (we both still live at home and I have 3 dogs so an apt is not an option) and buying a house and planning a wedding in the same year can be alot of stress...What do you guys think
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    HTR10HTR10 member
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    I'm so glad I found this board! I feel exactly the same way. We aren't young by any means (I'm 26, he's 29 which means that I'll just have turned 29 when we get married and he'll be 31) and have already been together for 2.5 years. I want to get married in June 2013 but between school (I'm getting my PhD), possible job instability (he has a PhD), and his parents wanting us to wait so they can help us more...it seems like 2014 it is. 

    I feel like everyone is tired of me talking about it and they are SO NOSY about why we are waiting. I generally just say how it is but it is starting to get to me (especially with some much younger/newer relationship people getting married before me). 

    My fiance is under a lot of stress so it is probably better we are waiting to have a wedding...he isn't into planning the wedding...he just wants to be married so if you ever need to talk feel free to PM me...anyone. 

    I have started to accept it but it was hard for a couple of weeks. Anyway congrats to you ladies!
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    HTR10HTR10 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2014-weddings_waiting-2-years?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:cd3555f8-fb3d-4290-b1fe-9de3e9d420b1Discussion:2ae5020a-08f0-47e1-bb8e-138102fd7e6bPost:d25831fa-f7cd-41bc-bf48-17b6b8e7d50c">Re: Waiting 2 years</a>:
    [QUOTE]I totally understand how you feel. My FI and I got engaged Dec 15th, 2011 and our wedding date is June 14, 2014... I got my degree last Aug and started my dream job this past March.. I have put much thought into changing it up one year but know my parents asked for us to have a long engagement so that way they could help out more... But it is hard when my friends who are engaged now after me are getting married or having babies.... Even though its two years away I wanna start planning and booking things now so when the time comes I'm not so stressed out but people think I'm crazy to start planning now... Should I wait? I just know we want to buy a house (we both still live at home and I have 3 dogs so an apt is not an option) and buying a house and planning a wedding in the same year can be alot of stress...What do you guys think
    Posted by Kevsgirl4life08[/QUOTE]

    <div>I think that weddings are a lot of stress but if my FI's job is stable and we feel confident we are looking to purchase a house the year before we get married (so late 2013, early 2014). I think it really just depends on what you are comfortable taking on...I know I could do it and hope that the stars align and we can do it :) I say go with your gut and you can do anything you want--if you think you can deal with it...why not? It sure would make for a super exciting year!</div>
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