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Gettin' in that marriage mode...

SonaliPopSonaliPop member
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in South Asian Weddings
So! When you girls were closed to getting engaged or married did you start to hang out with married people more? (I have very few married friends) Or read books about marriage? What steps did you take to 'fire proof' your marriage? What do you guys discuss and what haven't you?
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Re: Gettin' in that marriage mode...

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    kpwedkkkpwedkk member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't know, I still have the same circle of friends, I think we still hang out with singles and married folks, and some even have kids!!

    Fire proofing your marriage, we talked about dreams, and building dreams together, we talked about kids, and where we were going to live... I talk with inlaws once a week, and he see's his inlaws once a week ...



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    HisBelovedOneHisBelovedOne
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    edited December 2011
    We'll be the first couple married in his circle, and the fourth in mine. He's younger than I am by four years. All of his friends are single or in relationships but not married. Many of mine are in more serious relationships and not yet married; two are married and one is divorced.

    So far as fireproofing our marriage, well, we're both too stubborn and protective to let anything happen to it! We fight, like every couple does, and we make up, like the ones who last do.We're generally good with, for, and to each other and we seldom stay angry (or even annoyed) with each other for very long.
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    MrsBMMrsBM member
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    edited December 2011
    We talked a lot about what we wanted for the future and from each other.  We discussed family, what being married to someone meant, culture (both Indian and Canadian), we talked about our dreams.

    I started to meet his friends (all his friends are married) and I'm not going to lie...but when you hang out with people in the same 'boat' is a little easier. 

    I still see/meet my single friends (only one of my friends is married...she just had her first baby)...but it's NOT the same :( we don't always see eye to eye (which is fine) but I think b/c I'm married I'm being fit into some kind of 'mold' ...which I guess kind of offends me. 

    Not sure if I explained it correctly...it's just something I've been thinking about lately :(
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    raangoliraangoli
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Half of our friends are married, actually maybe more than half. But it really hasn't changed our relationship with them. I guess that might also coincide with the fact that we are a little older than maybe some of you gals are here.

    As for "fire proofing" we haven't really gone out of our way to read books or articles or anything. We've always been open with each other and will talk about things as they come up. We are both thinkers/planners and discuss each "big" decision we make, whether it was before our engagement or now that we are closer to the wedding.


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    SonaliPopSonaliPop member
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    edited December 2011
    I am hanging out with my married girlfriend tonight. She's been married for ten years (got married young) and has 3 gorgeous kids and she does it all. She's a killer nurse, a great mom, a devoted wife, and has a killer figure. I don't get how these women do it...haha. But it helps to talk to her. She has so much advice and even though she's American, she is MUCH more understanding. When I tell Indian girls I will live with my in laws they judge me or tell me that I should try to change everything and throw my weight around. She gets me and tries to show me the good in things. A lot of my friends are single and very few are married, and so a lot of times, I get the singletons responses about being focused on the self. It's nice to talk things out with someone who knows better than to just try to force her way all the time. That does not a marriage make!
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    DFWIndianDFWIndian
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    edited December 2011
    We have a good group of married friends and starting to be less and less single friends.

    We have to take Pre-Cana classes through our church before you get married. It forces you to talk about everything!! I mean everything! Kids, finances, strengths, weakness, and anything else you can think of. It's like couple's couseling before you start having problems.

    My friend did 5 Languages of Love and they loved it. You can try that. It has no religious association.
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    MrsBMMrsBM member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_south-asian-weddings_gettin-marriage-mode?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:430Discussion:cecdf50a-2d66-43a8-ab38-a87da41a4846Post:e91db2e6-8820-48ca-8410-704d2cab41f0">Re: Gettin' in that marriage mode...</a>:
    [QUOTE]We have to take Pre-Cana classes through our church before you get married. It forces you to talk about everything!!
    Posted by DFWIndian[/QUOTE]

    My friend also took these classes...she's not indian but I was intrigued by this
     
    [QUOTE]My friend did 5 Languages of Love and they loved it. You can try that. It has no religious association.
    Posted by DFWIndian[/QUOTE]

    I started reading this book a few years back....but I couldn't get into it and so I put it away...maybe I'll bring it back in a few years :)
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