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How to Honor someone outside the Jewish Faith

Jemstone57Jemstone57
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in Jewish Weddings

My groom has a best friend who is a Christian woman, and instead of having her in my bridal party we decided she would sign our ketubah.  The Bridal party is picked, and down payment was placed on our Rabbi, however we found out today that our Reform Rabbi won't let a Non Jewish person sign the document.  Since we would prefer not to lie to our Rabbi, what is another way we can honor this very close friend of ours?

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Re: How to Honor someone outside the Jewish Faith

  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
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    Do you need witnesses for your state marriage license?  If so, have her sign that.  You can also work with your rabbi--say you would like her to have a role in your ceremony and see if s/he has any suggestions.  Maybe your friend can read some of the seven blessings in English or do another reading.  If you're doing yichud (I would definitely recommend this), you can ask her to be a "guard" outside the door of the room you will be in.  
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  • ShoshieShoshie member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_jewish-weddings_how-to-honor-someone-outside-the-jewish-faith?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:399Discussion:856f83a2-d324-4fd2-96d2-0250f35ae612Post:e69d59f2-43da-401c-8e8d-2bd00afa5367">Re: How to Honor someone outside the Jewish Faith</a>:
    [QUOTE]Do you need witnesses for your state marriage license?  If so, have her sign that. [/QUOTE]

    Agree with that :)
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  • Jemstone57Jemstone57
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    I hope we need a witness, that would be a great idea!  Thank you guys.

    I've heard of a yichud in a more historical context, but not really in current day (we are very reform, and i've been to very few Jewish weddings).  Is it just more of a moment alone before the hooplah in this day and age?
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  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
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    Assuming you're getting married in NY, it looks like you do need a witness, http://www.health.ny.gov/publications/4210/

    Yichud is 10-15 minutes where you sit with your new H in a private room after the ceremony.  We used the same room we were in for the ketubah signing and bedeken.  It's traditional to fast on your wedding day, so you would break the fast at this point.  We did not fast, but we still had our venue put a plate of appetizers and some water in the room, which was good because we didn't get a chance to eat during cocktail hour (too busy greeting people and taking extended family photos).  Our two ketubah witnesses stood "guard" outside the room so we could be ensured privacy.  I recommend it because it was nice to have a few bites to eat and a little quiet time to process the ceremony together. 
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  • JoelsGirl07JoelsGirl07
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    We did the state license for our two women witnesses and had men sign the ketubah.
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