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Moving the date back again...

bourgehmbourgehm
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in Students

I got engaged almost two years ago. We set a date for August a year and a half later. My FI didn't have a steady job, so we had no choice but to move it back until this coming January.  FI got a job finally, but January is coming up. I had planned on transfering school (I'm a junior), but I realize now that I can't transfer easily. The place I was planning on transferring to wont accept me into the social work program since I'm already a junior. Anyways, now we have no choice but to move it back AGAIN until after I graduate which isn't for another year and a half.

I'm extremely frustrated because we keep needing to move it back. It's not like FI and I aren't ready. We really are.  I am pretty sad and I have been extremely teary these past few days when we got the news about the school.

The thought that we will have had a three and a half year engagement and we have planned the wedding twice already (and now a third) really makes me feel sad.  Any encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

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Re: Moving the date back again...

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    amgrossmanamgrossman
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    aww. I'm so sorry. Is there any reason you cant push it to next summer? That way you can have time to plan over the beginning of the summer and not worry about school at the same time.
    I'm graduating this December and i have the next five months to finish the rest of the planning for my wedding in May. Neither of us have jobs yet, although I have an interview tomorrow. We're betting on the fact that we will have jobs by then, even if only for a little bit.
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    MissOwlMissOwl
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    Sorry to hear that! A friend of mine is having the same problem that you are. She and her FI have been ready for ages and finally set a date and chose a reception location for next fall. think about it this way...you're proving one step at a time that you can handle anything, that you will do what's best for one another no matter what, even if it is hard. It's a true testament to the strength of your relationship. 
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    bourgehmbourgehm
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    We can't do it before next summer (not this coming one, the following one- 2012) because I'll still be in school. I graduate in May 2012. So anyways, it looks like that's what will need to happen.

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    orangecrush32orangecrush32 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    You won't have a summer break?
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    SeptemberFall2011SeptemberFall2011 member
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    Im sorry that it doesn't work for you to be married while attending school. 
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    ChanelShadesChanelShades
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    It has happened to a lot of us. A good friend of mine told me "you are going to spend forever with each other. There is no rush. The more you wait....the happier you will be when the day finally arrives." 

    So whenever your day comes, you will be one TEARY-eyed, HAPPY bride. 

    Personally, I think it is a great idea to finish school first. Don't cry. Feel better.
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    AmeliaAndSeth8890AmeliaAndSeth8890 member
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    Okay - so what you're saying is it hinders being able to live together? I get it now. That really stinks, why can't you transfer?
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    SmallTownGypsySmallTownGypsy member
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    I am totally with you, girl. I have had to do the same thing for financial reasons. Just know that "not now" is not the same as "never." It will happen, even though patience is not a bride virtue. :)
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    TAMARAJOY516TAMARAJOY516
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    I know exactly what you are going through, My FI and I were planning our wedding for this past may, but he didn't feel comfortable with that because he didn't have a job set up for after he graduated that December, Then we moved it back to this past August but he still hadn't found a full time job. Finally the week of what would have been our wedding he got a full time job now we are for sure getting married next August! 

    Just hang in there! I know its super hard on you emotionally but just remember that you already have your perfect guy! hope all goes well!
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    lovetruly06lovetruly06 member
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    edited November 2010
      I understand exactly what your going through, my and my FI have pushed the wedding back due to money issues (and one car crash) 3 times. We finally set another date for next year. He popped the question on my 19th bday, im 22 now going on 23 come June. Thats a long time.
      Don't worry yeah it's sucks, but you'll get through it, just keep going forward, lean on each other, and use the time to grow even closer. I  know it sounds lame, but try and see the good in it. I recently read something in a book that said when ever something happens you don't like, don't understand, or seems really bad ask your self this "What is right with this picture"
      Like I said yeah it sounds lames but it's helped me out alot, if nothing else it gives you a pause to breathe sort things out and see it differently.
       Your day will come and when it does it will be even better then you could have though.

    EDIT: Oh a little word of advice, don't ever post this on the wedding woes board, it's just a bad idea.
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    AmeliaAndSeth8890AmeliaAndSeth8890 member
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    edited November 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_moving-date-back-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:b1f6b456-a741-4a75-a839-bbc9dd472c1fPost:3cf3fe7d-46f1-4e04-aba6-4cadb2de0eff">Re: Moving the date back again...</a>:
    [QUOTE] EDIT: Oh a little word of advice, don't ever post this on the wedding woes board, it's just a bad idea.
    Posted by lovetruly06[/QUOTE]

    Haha she speaks the truth.
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    katiew22688katiew22688 member
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    So, you're graduating in May of 2012? Trying to piece together the right time frame... This might sound crazy, but I'm a military bride-to-be, so everything for us is crazy lol. Honestly, I know it would suck to get married and not be able to live together for a few months, but what's the harm in considering it? I mean, if he can't transfer his job to you and you can't transfer your schooling to him, but you are tired of just being engaged (trust me, I completely understand that one) why not get married when you wanted to, then move to him when you graduate? You will still see each other just as often as you already do, only you won't have to wait any more. My FI and I have been dating for 7 years and have been engaged for a year now. We were planning to get married in June 2012, after my graduation in May, and decided that we didn't really want to be engaged for 2 years after we had been dating for so long. So we moved it to Dec 2011. While I'm finishing up school in GA, he is stationed in CA. For that matter, his sister is married and her husband lives in another state because of work. They have 3 kids together,  one child is in school and the other 2 are too young for school. They see each other on the weekends if they can and it works out just fine and has for about 3 years. It would only be for a short time in the comparison to your whole lives together. Only a suggestion.
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