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Christian/Muslim ceremony

kristenaamirkristenaamir
First Comment
in Muslim Weddings

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to combine a Muslim/Christian ceremony?  I am Christian and my fiance is Muslim.  We thought about having two ceremonies but decided it would be nice to combine the important aspects from each into one ceremony instead.  We're not sure how that will look yet.  Does anyone have any experience with this?  I have always imagined wearing a white gown on my wedding, but I want to figure out how to incorporate the traditional red gown a Pakistani bride wears.  Should I do an outfit change?  Just incorporate elements of the red into my gown?  Or maybe it is best to do two ceremonies.  I'd love to hear how others have planned their Muslim/Christian weddings!

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Re: Christian/Muslim ceremony

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    KCJUNE2011KCJUNE2011 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Hi,
    I am in a similar situation. I am Christian and my fiance is Muslim. Because we cant afford to do two ceremonies, I too am wondering if I should do an outfit change. And if I do change into a more modest yet beautiful gown will it offend my Muslim guest.

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    MrsPDMrsPD
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    edited December 2011
    Have you ladies gotten a response?
    Mrs. DivaDowell Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    KCJUNE2011KCJUNE2011 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    No response! Still seeking help
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    masooma1436masooma1436
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ahahaa, I'm on the same boat. He's Christian, I'm Muslim. I'm trying to keep things simple, but it's sooo hard!! My now sister in law is American and married into our Pakistani family. She knew the wedding was 3 days long. For the Mehndi, you can have mostly just women since its a celebration of girly things, like applying henna ect. The second day (Shadi) you can wear the red dress. And then the third day (Valeema) you can wear the white dress. Needless to say my sister in law had quite the task ahead of her, but she managed, and everyone says how it was such a beautiful wedding. utsavsarees.com is probably where I'm gonna order my dress from, but if you want to combine the red and white, this is a great site to start looking. Good luck!
    -Masooma
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    flaughalotflaughalot
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm Muslim and am marrying a Christian guy. My wedding is not until 2012 but I bought a white lehenga that has red on the bottom. I didn't want the traditional all-red lehenga that Pakistani brides wear but lehengas come in all sorts of colors and designs now. I also just never have been able to picture myself wearing a white American wedding dress. I still may change into a simpler dress because I have no idea how i'm supposed to dance in the lehenga and that is a must for me at weddings! Especially my own!

    Anybody facing the problem yet of getting an imam who will be okay doing a ceremony with a minister? And how to coordinate that into something cohesive that isn't going on for hours?

    -Farah
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    KCJUNE2011KCJUNE2011 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ladies thank you for sharing. So much to think about. I thought my biggest challenge would be finding catering both Pakistani halal and western cuisine. I had not really thought about there being challenges with finding an Imam to participate in a interfaith ceremony. This is stressful!
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    kristenaamirkristenaamir
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are still looking for an Imam as well.  Any of you in the DC metro area?  It's helpful to hear how you all are incorporating different aspects of both cultures/religions.  It definitely is challenging but will be well worth it!
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    Lesley LopezLesley Lopez member
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    edited December 2011

    Congratulations to you all! I had the same situation I am Christian and my husband Muslim. We can to an agreement to have 2 different ceremonies. We discussed it with both families to make sure we wouldn't offend anyone. What we did was a western ceremony one day with gown, tux, wedding party and reception;then the next day we did the nikkah with family and close friends. This worked for us and we were able to really dedicate ourselves to each individual ceremony. It made for a great weekend of enjoying each other and family.

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    NicOutdoorsNicOutdoors
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are having two days, Sat and Sun. Sat is what I am considering the marraige day, we have a judge who is marrying us and doing the ceremony. I'm wearing a red lengha that day and he's in traditional clothing. We are doing all the traditional Pakistani and American traditions that day (barat, everything). The next day for the Walima his mother is organizing it (since she wanted to throw a party i let her do it all...). It is really just a catered lunch that is serving as the out of town brunch for all of my family coming in from out of town. That is also when we are getting blessed at the mosque.  THe biggest challenge is the western / pakistani food as there are NONE in Dayton ohio, so we are having to use two diferent caterers and hope Indian restaurants will cook us some good meat.

    Just be preppared for a litany of things you could have done better. My wedding isn't even here and already it has started. People seem to have no problem voicing opinions about your wedding. Good luck!
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    Butlers1Butlers1
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My family is Catholic and my husband to be's family is Pakistani Muslim. I have converted to Islam years ago but still want to incorporate both traditions into our ceremony.

    We have found a Imam who was originally catholic but converted to Islam  to do the ceremony so that everyone would understand and be able to follo and be comfortable in the situation. He is Italian origin, speaking english as his first langauge and knows both sides of the story.

    It may be possible for you to find an Imam who is willing to assist with making the ceremony (Nikkah) more casual allowing for an open and understanding environment.
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    shawwal6shawwal6 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Um whether or not you wear cultural clothing is not a question of Muslim or Christian.  I am muslim and I have several dresses, however our backgrounds are North African and Yemeni.  One of my dresses is white cause that's how we roll at the wedding reception.  But my nikaah ceremony and henna dresses are from my families culture and my henna design will be from his culture.

    If you are marrying into a Pakistani family I think it would be nice to do the pakistani thing at your cultural parties, and things that are american like bridal showers do your thing.

    I have also seen brides where WHITE traditional clothing.  I have seen many pakistani brides incorporate "western" or "european" tradition such as the color or style of veil into their dresses.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I grew up in a Persian Muslim family even though I no longer am Muslim myself. Since I am engaged to a Baptist Christian and we have a son, my Muslim side of the family want nothing to do with my wedding. But I still plan on having certain traditions tied into both the ceremony and the reception. And I don't know if you want to marry in a church or not, but if you think about it, you don't have to. You could go to a hotel, and have a close Muslim male family member marry you, since that is allowed in Islam, in addition to a priest or minister.

    In Iran, the bride and groom sit under a cloth, and people stand over the cloth and rub together sugar cones in order to "sweeten the marriage." You could build a sort of Chuppah structure where you, your fiance, the minister, and the Muslim marrying you, could sit under, and you could have bridesmaides rub the sugar together over the cloth. That's if you want to go that route.

    During the ceremony, you could of course play your favorite music, and inorporate certain cultural aspects from his side so that people can learn not just about the religion, but about his ancestral culture as well. Now as far as a red dress, you could wear a dress that has both of those colors in it, like this dress from David's Bridal: http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Satin-A-Line-with-Split-Front-and-Color-Inset-YP3066

    Good lick with your planning and may you have a blessed wedding and marriage Inshaallah!
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    NadzBNadzB member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited October 2012
    Hi,
    I am a christian from caribbean also marrying an African muslim and here are my suggestions to you.

    1. Have a white dress traditional christsian ceremony and then do a change off into the red Pakastani lengha wedding gown and have the iman bless the union at the reception if he is willing to do so.

    2. If you can afford it, then you can have two seperate ceremonies, you will have to decide which you choose first as you can only be legally married once of course. So that both sides will be equally satisfied this way.

    3. Incorporate both cultures into the wedding and reception, you can have your white dress and add something red to it like a sash or the train, like trhe dress in the link above. you would have to wear a jacket with that kind of dress which could either be red or white


    I am thinking of changing into the traditional African attire at the reception and incorporating dishes and music into mine
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    MLAT5MLAT5
    First Comment
    Here's how my wedding planner (who is also Muslim) at Elite(b)Events had her wedding... She wore a red and gold traditional dress for the henna.... A green dress for the Nikka and a white dress for the reception. As far as I know imams will do the ceremony but both have to be Muslim! That's what the guidelines were when my cousin was getting married....hope this helps
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