Mother/Bride personality clash.

Re: Mother/Bride personality clash.

• AllAboutTheBenjamin member

  

  May 2010 edited December 2011

  My mom is such a Type A and it's driving me up a freaking wall.
  
  My sister got married last year and she lived at home the whole time, and my mother watched her pour over wedding things every single day.  I'm a little different in that hey, I want nice details, but I don't really worry about things or get overly concerned.  She called me today to ask how planning was coming and I didn't really know what to tell her.  Everything is booked, but mostly everyone tells me "well call back when you're about 3 months out and we'll talk more."  So I'm like ok, sounds good, and I go about my life.
  
  It's driving my mother insane that I don't have a planning book just like my sister did, or that I'm not constantly looking at magazines for ideas.  Maybe I already know what I want.  Why do I have to keep looking?  And why must have I have a planner... I have a notebook I've been outlining things in and I have a calender thing online that sends me reminders.  Seriously.  What the eff.
  
  I keep trying to reassure her that everything will be fine but she's relentless.  I'm seriously thisclose to just saying screw it and telling her that I don't care how anything looks at the reception or what is used to decorate the church.  I want to just tell her "If you're so obsessed with how things are going to turn out - have at it and do it your way."
  
  All I care about is spending the rest of my life with my guy.
  
  /vent over
  

  

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• Muffin'sMom

  

  May 2010 edited December 2011

  Every time she brings it up you smile and say,"thanks Mom, we have it under control" and then just change the subject.  You'll have to be firm about doing it every time.  Some people, mom's or not, need to be trained just like puppies.  Just be friendly, firm and consistent! 

  My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  May 2010 edited December 2011

  I agree with pp. Don't give into your mom or she may take you up on it and go changing things and doing things her way. I am sure you probably wouldn't like that, I know I wouldn't. Just remind her that you and your sister are 2 different people and your vision for your wedding may be completely different than your sisters and that is perfectly okay.
  
  I know my mom just needs a good reminding sometimes and that usually seems to help....at least for a little while.

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• tintagirl member

  

  June 2010 edited December 2011

  Sounds as if Mom is just nervous. Not because of the wedding,  she feels as if she is losing another daughter. The wedding planning is only part of all her questions.
  It's a deep feeling of loss she has to go threw again for the second time.
  No one likes to deal with loss but such is life, we all do.
  
  Just let her know how much you Love her and that you do appreciate all her help.
  It's your wedding and Mom needs to back off a bit and let you make the decisions.
  If things don't turn out well  then you only have your self to answer to.
  
  I'm sure you will do just fine, after all she raised you to make good choices and you will.
  
  Good Luck and God Bless,
  
  
  
  
  
  

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• Jenfoxy

  

  June 2010 edited December 2011

  I know what you're going through . . . my mom is very similar.  It's often been hard talking about the wedding with her because she usually seems to have an oppositie opinion, and the wedding in her head is different (and more fanicer) than my own vision. 
  I'm offering the same advice that I've been given from my closest friends:  continue to politely tell her that you've taking care of everything and breathe deeply after a bothersome conversation.  Another piece of advice has helpd with my mom - give her something small to do, a role or a job that she can be in involved with so she feels like she is contributing and is a part of the planning.  My mom knows more (and cares more!) about the table setting/floral arrangements, so I had her involved in this which made her happy.
  Don't let your mom's type-A personality get you down . . .  everything will work out and at the end of the day it's about you being happy with your future husband.  Good luck with your mom and your wedding!

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