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Michigan-Detroit

Should I be Upset??

So a friend (not real close but close enough) of mine just got engaged which is awesome and I was recently married 2 months ago :)

I got a text message last night from her saying "Were gonna have the same wedding anniversary"

I have to say I was little upset and just felt a big blow. I responded "Really. WOW!" She said I didn't realize! Heika (another friend) pointed it out today" I asked her why that date? any particular reason? She said "I like fall idk it just worked. The 8th is msu/um & the 15th my friend in standing in a wedding" I just responded saying "oh"

I have no idea what i should do or how i should be feeling. We have to see them tomorrow for another friends wedding. My husband said that I shouldn't worry about it. And i said well we can't go to there wedding because we'll be celebrating our first year anniversary. He said we could still go and I said no were not. I'm not gonna celebrate our first year of marriage at another wedding and he there wedding cake when we should be eating ours.

I just feel like a knife just stabbed me in the back. My bachelorette party I had to share with a bridesmaid because she got so wasted my party ended early and drama started. My wedding shower all the bridesmaids hated the planning and arguments arose with the aunt and cousin who were helping plan.

I just feel like that should be our day and we shouldn't have to share it with anyone else. Maybe I'm being shelfish I don't know. I just need some advise on how to handle this and maybe I am overreacting.

Re: Should I be Upset??

  • edited December 2011
    This might sound harsh, but you get ONE DAY... and not one date, just one day in that particular year.  It sounds like that date just worked out for them, not that she was trying to steal your thunder or offend you.  Yeah, it sucks that you'll be going to another wedding on your first anniversary, but you could do something the day before, after, and the wedding won't take up the whole day, anyway.

    I think with time you'll see that you're overreacting a bit.  It might just be the shock that you didn't expect a friend to get married on that date so soon and initial disappointment that you now (probably) have some plans on your anniversary.
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with Abbey.

    Not to sound harsh, but here it goes: no you shouldn't be upset.  I could understand you being upset if a friend planned her wedding on the same day as yours ( ie: same day, month and year) but this is nothing to be worried about.  She for sure didn't do it on purpose and so what if she did?  If you are that offended don't go, but I think you would regret that and come off looking selfish and spoiled!
  • edited December 2011
    I can't think of a better way to celebrate your wedding anniversary than by witnessing a friend marrying the love of her live.  How romantic!

    Eat your cake and do your thing after the wedding.  Be HAPPY for your friend, if you are actually her friend. 

    And if she's not really your friend, then who really cares.  Skip the wedding.  It shouldn't even matter to you what she is doing. 
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  • elff20elff20 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the advise. You guys didn't sound harsh at all. I really think it's the initial shock on having the same wedding date so soon after we had ours. Thanks :)
  • emarston1emarston1 member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I agree with the PPs but it seems that you've calmed down a bit and come to your senses.  It's okay to be a little shocked at first but it's really not that big of a deal :)  Just because she's getting married it will not take away from your marriage or anniversary.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Should I be Upset??:
    I can't think of a better way to celebrate your wedding anniversary than by witnessing a friend marrying the love of her live.  How romantic! Posted by hamiltks10
    This!! :) If you go to the wedding, it's opportunity for you and your husband to recite your vows silently to each other. I think that would be a wonderful way to spend your 1st Anniversary.
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  • edited December 2011
    I definitely agree with all the other posters.  Especially since i have to deal with my mom getting married the month before my wedding, during the weekend of my bridal shower lol.
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  • Julz629Julz629 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I think this point has already been drilled in, but I agree with PPs that you have no right to be upset.  Hopefully this post was just you venting and you did not actually express this to anyone beyond your DH.  And I agree 100% with your DH -- you should go to their wedding, celebrate with them, and have an awesome time.

    You are going to have many anniversaries to come and they are going to fall at inopportune times -- in the middle of the week when you have other stuff going on, when you have kids they might have things going on that day...heck, there may be anniversaries where you and your DH aren't even physically together.  It doesn't make you any less married and you can still celebrate.

    There are only 365 days of the year so you are bound to celebrate your "day" with other anniversaries, birthdays, etc. 
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