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Gathering brooches for a brooch bouquet

LoveandmangosLoveandmangos
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in Flowers
I'm having a winter wedding and want to carry a brooch bouquet filled with brooches given to me by all of the important women in my life.  I had initially imagined gathering the brooches at my bridal shower, but by fiancee's family already hosted a shower for me for their side of the family only (chalk it up to a cultural difference and the fact that none of them speak English so wouldn't be able to communicate with my half anyways).  My core group of friends are all scattered around the world and we likely won't be all together until the wedding itself.  I'm not sure there will be another shower. 

Is it offside to send notes to the women I love explaining the idea and telling them it would mean the world to me to include a brooch from them?  Should I filter it through the MOH (who lives on the other side of the country) or do it directly?  Any other ideas on how to arrange this?

Merci, gracias & thanks for any and all insight!
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Re: Gathering brooches for a brooch bouquet

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    kisskiss30kisskiss30
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    Wow, that's a tough one.  It's a wonderful idea filled with sentiment which for a wedding is particularly nice, but a friend of mine asked for the brooches and wasn''t happy with what she got.  Unfortunately, she had to use them because she was afraid to hurt anyone's feelings. 
    Hopefully your friends/family wil  have better taste in brooches.  I had my brooch bouquet made with lovetheblooms (all one word) on Etsy.


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    itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited October 2012
    I wouldn't do this. It is certainly a sweet idea, but it may cause more headache than it's worth. Especially due to a cultural/language barrier.

    Plus, what happens if Great Aunt Suzy sends you her antique brooch and you break it!?!? Or, in contrast, what happens if your FMIL gives you a giant, ugly, neon yellow brooch...would you still use it? Or risk not using it and possibly hurting her feelings?

    Oh gosh, and I didn't even go into the fact that someone might be offended that you didn't ask HER for a brooch.

    Tooooo mucchhhh stresssss...Surprised
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    Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    LOL...........Tooooo mucchhhh stresssss

    It's a really nice thought, but I agree with the above posters, it can go badly. Of course that's not your intention, but feelings could be hurt, and you could get some butt-ugly brooches.

    I would probably ask this of people you are close to, and if they supply one you are pretty much going to be stuck with it even if it's ugly. I would also only ask people to give you something that they don't want back, or are willing to take a risk might get broken

    Or, you could find your own brooches and make a bouquet, and ask your Mom & FMIL to give you ones that you put on the bouquet stem, so if they are ugly, they are hidden.
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    GossamerBride10GossamerBride10
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    Maybe you should ask the important women in your life for a different way to be involved. A lot of people like to incorporate photos into bouquets or boutonnieres to keep special people in mind. This is one of my favorite examples: 
    I'd be careful about asking for anything that important to the look of your wedding without seeing it first. Hope this helped! 
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    greenwoodheightsgreenwoodheights member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I think you could go ahead and ask. You're not going to get as many as you need, but you could incorporate what you do receive and add it to what you collect on your own. It's a know your crowd issue; some people love an afternoon hunting for trinkets at flea markets- if that's your friends and family, go for it. My own DIY-oriented family and friends dig that kind of stuff, and it's really not a stressful BFD to pick one up somewhere for very little, but we also live in a big city with a lot of access to flea markets and estate sales. Obviously, it's not one they already own, it's a "this one made me think of you" type of deal, and that's ok. And, you know, if they don't want to do it or it's not their thing, then they don't and it's all good. I just don't see the prob in reaching out and asking, if you think you might be met with enthusiastic responses.
    Just know that even if you don't like what you get, you have to find a way to use them all.
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    LoveandmangosLoveandmangos
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    This is an old post but thought I'd report back just in case anyone stumbles across this thread in the future.

    Despite everyone's reasonable and thoughtful comments above, I decided to go ahead with the 'brooch project', and it has turned out to be even more special than I could have imagined.  My Maid of Honour sent out the request to everyone, and the brooches were to be in place of any shower gifts.  The response has been overwhelming - at times sentimental, at times funny, but always amazing.

    I've received a number of brooches from my family members that have a lot of emotional significance, which I will cherish forever.  Through the stories of each brooch, I have learned about the women in my family in a whole new way.

    The brooches from my friends have also been moving.  Each friend has approached this project in a slightly different way, and each sent me the brooch with a card or letter attached.  Some gave me brooches from their grandmothers and told me the story or significance behind them.  Others have sought out brooches that symbolize something they believe is important in a marriage.  A friend in Paris wrote me a lovely story about the little antique shop she found it in, and her reflections on reminding ourselves of beauty rather than focusing on imperfections (its missing one tiny stone) and how we need to apply the same kindness we give a brooch to ourselves.  My fashionist friends have challenged each other to finding the most fabulous glittery piece possible.  From each, the brooch and the story or process behind it is a perfect reflection of each of my amazing friends. 

    The point of my brooch bouquet was to carry a part of the women in my life with me as I walk down the aisle, and it has turned out to be all that and more.  The cards and letters that came with the brooches were an unexpected bonus that now mean as much to me as the brooches themselves.  

    I started down this path with trepidation, but it has turned out to be one of the best parts of my entire wedding process, and I would highly recommend it to anyone.  Never doubt the capacity of your friends and family to surprise you in amazing and delightful ways....

    L
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