November 2011 Weddings

Family & Guest Lists

Is it wrong to not invite cousins you have only seen a few times in your life?  I wanted to keep my count down to 120 max (as the rooms capacity is 132) but my parents are insisting that I invite all the first cousins. I am paying for the majority of the wedding myself. I want to invite the ones who have been close to myself and my family.  But the ones who I only see at other family weddings or funerals just seem to only show up for the open bar and free food.  Is it wrong to cut them from the list or put them on the B list?

Re: Family & Guest Lists

  • There is never a right or wrong way on who to invite.  This is what my FI and I did.  We wrote down everyone from my side on a sheet of paper...I did imidiate family and asked my mom what cousins she would invite and same for my dads.  Then we did the same for my FI's family.  And did one more sheet for our friends.  I went through the list and marked everyone I was going to invite for sure.  Then crossed out who I wasnt inviting.  After I added up the "for sure" if there was room I added some of the cousins and what not the rest went on a seperate list just in case.  My mom kind of threw a couple of names at me and said I have to invite them but like you I only see them at weddings.  So my FI and I made a rule for our familys...If we dont really want to invite them because we really dont see them and they insist we invite them they pay for their plate...that way if they want them there that bad they will pay for it.  I know it sounds wierd but It works for us because we are paying for most of our wedding and I dont have extra money to invite people that i met only twice.  Also I am trying to avoid the list getting longer and longer.  It was hard to tell them at first but once we did they were fine with it.  sorry this is sooo long..and i hope it helps!
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  • if you are paying for the whole thing then your list is bottom line.  I wouldnt feel comfortable for charging people for food at my wedding, thats just me, so i'd just not invite them full stop.  People need to understand money isnt endless and venues dont have expanding walls.
    If your mum really has to have them there then i would explain to her your budget doesnt stretch to that and could she cover the costs?  i think the fact they you hardly see them is reason enough to leave them off, weddings are for the people who mean the most to you and who play  the biggest part in your lives  to celebrate your marriage.  otherwise its meaningless to the couple.
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  • In Response to Re: Family & Guest Lists:
    i should probably clearify...i meant if my mom/his mom wants that person to be invited then my mom/his mom pays for that persons plate i didnt mean tell the person being invited to pay for the plate :)
    Posted by kuteashbee
    haha, thank god!  sorry i mis-read that completely
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