Stolen Poll from GCNML Dumb Sh!t you thought as a kid

ricksang · June 2012

What were some things you thought as a kid that you know now are not true/different?
I have to go to work but HAVE A GOOD MORNING/DAY GIRLS!

I thought a vagina was called MARY

I thought that everything and everyone was really black and white when I saw B&W movies and that people and the world turned colors eventually.

There really was a monster under my bed and I would run and jump into bed to avoid an ankle grab from said monster. I also had a fort of stuffed animals surrounding me to PROTECT me from the monster.

Michael Jackson's song Billy Jean- I thought "The Kid is Not My Son" was "The Chair is not my Son" and sang it that way until my mom corrected me.

celticmyss · June 2012

I thought Alzheimer's was called Old Timers.

I am sure I will think of some more.

LesPaul · June 2012

I had my daughter believing the world was B&W for a long time, Ang. I told her color was invented in the 1960s and that's why old TV shows, movies, and photos are B&W. She's still mad about it.

When I was littlie I wondered if black people were black all over, or if they had tan lines and white butts.

I cut the whiskers on my stuffed mouse (Stuart Little) because I thought they would grow back.

I thought a woman could only become pregnant after she got married.

I thought everyone in the world lived in a neighborhood like ours (ordinary middle class ranch houses, grocery store, school).

[Deleted User] · June 2012

I thought girls could get pregnant anytime after they started their period, sex or not. I'm not sure why, because I knew how it all worked. I think I was just paranoid.

I thought Raphael the TMNT lived in the sewers by my house. This was my mother's fault. Every time we went for a walk or bike ride she'd claim she saw him peeking out the manhole cover to look at me.

I thought movies were real life and was mad my mom wouldn't take me on awesome adventures and film them.

sssdee · June 2012

The 1st two things that come to mind are:

1) In order to get rid of a cold, you had to pass it on to someone else

2) If you peed in a pool, the water around you would change colours.

LetsHikeToday · June 2012

These crack me up! I used to worry that kids were 1 in first grade, 2 in second and that I was really far behind.

NicoleSahara · June 2012

I thought canadian bacon was "canadi & bacon." Not sure what I thougt canadi was. I think I eventually asked my parents what the canadi part meant and when I explained what I was talking about they died laughing and explained it was canadian bacon.

baystateapple · June 2012

When I was really little I thought the words to Jingle Bells were "Oh what fun it is to ride in one hore, soap and a sleigh" until my grandma corrected me. Don't ask me what I thought a "hore" (whore) was. I was just babbling along with the radio.

This weekend my friend's little 4-year-old was singing one of the songs from the movie Tangled. Instead of singing "Sweep again, and by then" she sang "Sweep again, all my men." It cracked me up.

LetsHikeToday · June 2012

When I was first starting to read I swore to my parents our town had a park of ice. I saw the sign and wanted to go. My parents had no idea what I was talking about. I kept begging and begging for months until we finally passed the sign again and my mom said it read park office.

baystateapple · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stolen-poll-from-gcnml-dumb-sht-you-thought-as-a-kid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:8b2b8596-5d3d-499b-a78c-3c8e2d639974Post:2717879b-45d7-4e31-86b0-e91bbdb33561">Re: Stolen Poll from GCNML Dumb Sh!t you thought as a kid</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I thought people lived IN the TV and when you turned a show off they just went to bed.</strong> I thought the song Secret Agent Man was Secret Asian Man.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]
Along with this, I used to think that when songs came on the radio, the band was actually performing at the radio station. I wondered why nobody clapped when a song ended.

anna.oskar · June 2012

i thought i was adopted because I lived in Germany but spoke English first. I don't know how I came to that conclusion but it persisted until I was 9.

I thought ice cream was exported from the Alps and couldn't be made elsewhere. I suspect someone was telling me stories.

baystateapple · June 2012

Duds, that's adorable.

[Deleted User] · June 2012

Anna, sometimes I'm still convinced I'm adopted because I'm so different from my parents. One of the biggest things that reassures me I'm not is that my mom ad I look exactly the same as kids.

I used to think I could breathe underwater because I could in my dreams. Sadly, I learned the hard way that I was mistaken.

I used to think my cats could talk and were just anti-social when they didn't speak in English to me. Didn't stop me from talking to them, but I did give them the side-eye for being brats.

andrea2473 · June 2012

It took me a long time to figure out that my mom shaved her legs and that's why her legs didn't have hair and mine did.

In middle school it was trendy for girls to wear boxers instead of pj shorts or gym shorts. I had no clue that it was actually intended to be underwear for men.

brandichamberlain · June 2012

I was extremely gullible when I was a kid (and still am) so my brother was always convincing me stuff was true that wasn't. The one I remember the most was the day he convinced me that giving the finger meant "I love you". I gave my dad the finger on both hands. I was in big trouble.

LP11509 · June 2012

I didn't understand credit cards. I thought if you used it, everything was just free. So one time we went to the grocery store and my mom paid with cash. I asked her why she didn't just use her card to get the stuff for free.

Even though I knew Kentucky was a state, for some reason I thought that the name KFC was referring to a man named Kentucky who fried the chicken.

I thought "lmno" was one letter.

The first time my brother told me "kiss my ass", I asked who Myass was and why he wanted me to kiss him.

dmiller9274 · June 2012

When I was little, I had really long hair. My mom let me cut a good bit of it off and the woman at the salon kept saying she felt guilty cutting off all of my virgin hair. I had no idea what virgin meant, and rather than ask what it meant, I randomly would ask people IF they were a virgin. The first person I thought to ask was my 2nd grade teacher, then the librarian at the school, finally I came home and asked my dad if he was a virgin. He got so pissed off. My mom had to explain to me what it was, then I told her I had asked the other two people and she made me write apology letters to both of them, along with her apology and an attempt at an explanation.

We also had a police officer come in when I was in probably 4th grade, to talk to us about drugs. He ran through the full list of drugs, why they were bad, he also talked about alcohol, so I assumed it was a drug. So of course I had to blurt out that my dad did drugs (drank a beer) several times a week, right in front of me and my sister. My mom was the secretary for the PTO at school, so the staff had a field day calling her to tell her that I informed a cop that my dad was a druggie.

[Deleted User] · June 2012

LP reminded me. I thought when someone said something like "two-fifty" for an item that costs $250, that it was only $2.50.

dmiller9274 · June 2012

LP, I thought the same thing about checks. I just thought they were these little pieces of paper that you could use when you really wanted something but didn't have the money for it. I was shopping with my mom once and asked for a new cabbage patch doll, and she said we didn't have the money for it. So I told her "just write a check, you have a whole box of those things." She still makes fun of me about that.

Megbo2012 · June 2012

I thought when my mom asked for "regular unleaded" at the pump that she was saying "regular on lettuce"

I thought babies came from the stomach, and asked my mom if she had scars from me, and if I could see them (imagining a big circle on her belly). Awkward....

We had an ATM in town that was a drive through, and when I saw my parents put in a card and get money, I assumed it was a rich man living in that "house" who would give people money once in awhile, like an allowance.

I also thought I was adopted. I can see how I come from my parents, but at the time, I looked nothing like either (dad's really dark, mom's really pale, I'm neither.) I was so afraid to ask. I also had pictures of my childbirth as evidence, but I just came to the ridiculous conclusion that my parents either photoshopped/faked the picture (before photoshop existed) or had another child and replaced them with me.

I was strange.

LesPaul · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stolen-poll-from-gcnml-dumb-sht-you-thought-as-a-kid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:8b2b8596-5d3d-499b-a78c-3c8e2d639974Post:7d9ac4b8-1b38-4b74-b768-c924094fdd81">Stolen Poll from GCNML Dumb Sh!t you thought as a kid</a>:
[QUOTE] <strong>I thought a vagina was called MARY</strong> .
Posted by ricksang[/QUOTE]

Gives a whole new meaning to 'Hail Mary, full of grace', doesn't it?

LP11509 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stolen-poll-from-gcnml-dumb-sht-you-thought-as-a-kid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:8b2b8596-5d3d-499b-a78c-3c8e2d639974Post:3b06d55c-1f58-411b-9e53-e9bf41d9814d">Re: Stolen Poll from GCNML Dumb Sh!t you thought as a kid</a>:
[QUOTE]LP, I thought the same thing about checks. I just thought they were these little pieces of paper that you could use when you really wanted something but didn't have the money for it. I was shopping with my mom once and asked for a new cabbage patch doll, and she said we didn't have the money for it. So I told her "just write a check, you have a whole box of those things." She still makes fun of me about that.
Posted by dmiller9274[/QUOTE]

<div>Haha! I knew checks = money, I think because I saw my mom write the amount on them. But credit cards, you just hand them the card, they hand it back and you walk out. So I just assummed it was free since I never actually saw an exchange of money/something that had the value amount written on it. Which is a weird thought process for a kid. </div>

[Deleted User] · June 2012

Ha, dmills. The first time I saw Hocos Pocus I had no idea what a virgin was, so I didn't understand the meaning behind the virgin lighting the black flame candle.

Your story reminded me of this kid on our street. They have a lot of coquina (sp?) rocks in their yard and he told his teacher they had lots of cocaine rocks. His parents got a nice visit at home that day.

I saw Wayne's World when I saw young and didn't know what it meant when they did that "schwing!" thing and would pump their hips up when sitting on the couch. I just thought it was funny and did it in front of my mom's friends. She about had a heart attack but her friends thought it was hilarious.

LP11509 · June 2012

Oh, another thing related to KFC - I couldn't say the word Kentucky properly. It came out sounding like "fucking", apparently. One night my mom asked me what I wanted for dinner, and I responded with "I want some fucking friend chicken!". It took her a minute to figure out what I meant and she was horrified. This is also one of her favorite stories to tell people about me to this day. Thanks, mom.

baystateapple · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stolen-poll-from-gcnml-dumb-sht-you-thought-as-a-kid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:8b2b8596-5d3d-499b-a78c-3c8e2d639974Post:b0591664-1d4a-4565-8297-37f5899a309e">Re: Stolen Poll from GCNML Dumb Sh!t you thought as a kid</a>:
[QUOTE]Ha, dmills. <strong>The first time I saw Hocos Pocus I had no idea what a virgin was, so I didn't understand the meaning behind the virgin lighting the black flame candle. </strong>Your story reminded me of this kid on our street. They have a lot of coquina (sp?) rocks in their yard and he told his teacher they had lots of cocaine rocks. His parents got a nice visit at home that day. I saw Wayne's World when I saw young and didn't know what it meant when they did that "schwing!" thing and would pump their hips up when sitting on the couch. I just thought it was funny and did it in front of my mom's friends. She about had a heart attack but her friends thought it was hilarious.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

I was (am) a Virgo, so I always just thought that Max Dennison was born in late August - early September. I had no idea it meant that he hadn't had sex.

RamonaFlowers · June 2012

I believed women gave birth by puking out the baby.

I believed that Guy Smiley (The game show host on Sesame Street) was evil, and lived under my parents dresser. When we moved and a giant pile of boxes barricaded the bottom of the dresser coincided with the time he stopped appearing on the show all together, it only confirmed my suspicions.

I thought perfume was a magic potion. Why else would it come in such a fancy bottle?

sweetredhead · June 2012

I believed everyone who spoke other languages translated it to English in their minds like I had to. I believed chicken fingers were the fingers of chicken. Thanks cousin Matt! I thought my patents found me at the hospital and just said I was my brother's twin.

KateJ10 · June 2012

I am trying to remember- I thought that when I boyfriend "dumped" a girlfriend or vice versa, you literally dumped water over their head or pushed them into the water to end things. I think I thought that because we were spending the summer out at the lake the first time I heard about it.

I remember reading a semi-scary kids book, and I went to bed soon afterwards, and heard my pulse in my ear when my head was on the pillow and it freaked me out thinking it was someone's footsteps coming to get me.

kd.joseph · June 2012

I was not sheltered as a child, if I had a question, Mom answered it. Like when the neighbor girl (who's father sold X-rated merchandise) asked me to ask my mom what a French Tickler was,we were only about 6 and she couldnt ask her dad. My mom didnt skip a beat.

Also, my older sister had a roach clip on her car keys. I found it and asked what it was, they had me convinced it was to pick up roaches by their legs.

I thought on a Honeymoon, the B&G actually flew to the moon and there was a little door they entered.

When I was about 8 I asked my mom about the "Oui" magazines I found in my dads closet. She told me I was too young to look at those, but I told her she was always telling the body was beautiful. So she put them out on the couch I had to look at them with her there. I got my fill quickly.

pixiedust84 · June 2012

I used to think babies came out of your butt. I remember thinking that it wouldn't be so bad giving birth - it would just be like a really big poop.

DMills I didn't know what a virgin was either. In third grade a boy asked me if I was a virgin and I thought it was bad and he was going to make fun of me so I said "Ew, no!" - and then became known as the third grade slut. haha

kd.joseph · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stolen-poll-from-gcnml-dumb-sht-you-thought-as-a-kid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:8b2b8596-5d3d-499b-a78c-3c8e2d639974Post:07c3cae7-7959-462c-a63e-6559fd0fae9c">Re: Stolen Poll from GCNML Dumb Sh!t you thought as a kid</a>:
[QUOTE]I used to think babies came out of your butt. I remember thinking that it wouldn't be so bad giving birth - it would just be like a really big poop. DMills I didn't know what a virgin was either. In third grade a boy asked me if I was a virgin and I thought it was bad and he was going to make fun of me so I said "Ew, no!" - and then became known as the third grade slut. haha
Posted by pixiedust84[/QUOTE]

This is hilarious Pixie.

Stolen Poll from GCNML Dumb Sh!t you thought as a kid

Re: Stolen Poll from GCNML Dumb Sh!t you thought as a kid

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