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Traditions - which ones did you keep?

[Deleted User][Deleted User] member
First Comment
in Second Weddings
As I go through the traditional checklists, I've found myself wondering which ones are truly necessary the second time around.  For example - my FI and I have decided not to have an engagement party, but I absolutely still want a gorgeous dress.  I don't think I'll throw the bouquet at my reception (because I won't have all that many single ladies) but would love a father/daughter dance since I'm still blessed enough to have mine with me. 

Which traditions are you skipping?  Which ones can't you live without? 

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Re: Traditions - which ones did you keep?

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    2dBride2dBride member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011

    We skipped:

     

    • • A groom. (It was a same-sex wedding.)
    • • Engagement rings.
    • • Engagement photos.
    • • Engagement party.
    • • Alcohol or strippers at the bachelorette party.  We ended up with two joint bachelorette parties, one at Dave & Buster's (restaurant and arcade games) and one at a traditional Korean bathhouse.
    • • Shower.
    • • Welcome bags/OOT bags.
    • • Bridal party, other than maid of honour and "dude of honour."
    • • Special attire for MOH and DOH (great acronym!). The MOH wore a bridesmaid's dress she got for a different wedding. The DOH wore a business suit he already owned.
    • • Being escorted down the aisle.  We just walked together down the aisle, holding hands.
    • • Limo.
    • • STDs.
    • • Placecards and table numbers (luncheon was small seat-yourself affair in the private dining room of a restaurant, and at-home reception was cocktail style seating).
    • • Anything monogrammed.
    • • I DO letters.
    • • Chargers.
    • • Any clothing that said "bride."
    • • RSVP envelopes (We had online-only RSVPs, using an RSVP Web site designed by my wife.)
    • • Aisle runner.
    • • Flowers for the ceremony location, other than bouquets for us and MOH, and bout for DOH. We had pew bows and gold chair sashes, but the only other decoration was our ketubah and the chuppah.
    • • Wedding musician. We compiled our own CD.
    • • Ring pillow/unity candle/ceremony accessories, other than the chuppah.
    • • Gift bags.
    • • Rehearsal dinner. Most of the attendees were staying in one big house, and we just ordered in pizza the night before.
    • • Being announced at the reception.
    • • All "special" dances other than the first dance.
    • • Flowers for the reception, other than some freeze-dried rose petals.
    • • Reception dresses. We bustled up our wedding gowns and wore those to the luncheon and at-home reception.
    • • Menus.
    • • Candy buffet.
    • • Disposable cameras. Most of our friends have cameras, and we just asked that they bring them and upload the photos to our photo-sharing website afterward.
    • • Bouquet and garter tosses.
    • • Wedding coordinator, DOC, etc.
    • • Honeymoon.

    We included:

    • • Wedding in a synagogue, performed by a rabbi.
    • • Ivory wedding dresses.
    • • Veils.
    • • Bouquets.
    • • Chuppah (Jewish wedding canopy)
    • • Ketubah (formal Jewish wedding contract).
    • • Sheva Barakot (seven blessings).
    • • Breaking the glass.
    • • Hamotzi (blessing over bread).
    • • Cake cutting.
    • • Music and dancing at the reception.
    • • First dance.
    Anniversary
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    Marrin713Marrin713 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Only thing we did was a cake cutting.  Didn't feed it to each other, we just cut the first piece for photos.
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    debbiem56debbiem56
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Whew, 2ndbride just about covered everything so I will just modify her list for what we are skipping:

    We skipped:


     Engagement photos.

    • • Engagement party.
    • • Shower.
    • • Welcome bags/OOT bags.
    • • Bridal party, other than MOH, BM, FG and RB
    • • Being escorted down the aisle.  We will walk together down the aisle
    • • Limo.
    • • STDs.
    • • Anything monogrammed.
    • • I DO letters.
    • • Chargers.
    • • Any clothing that said "bride."
    • • RSVP envelopes ,online-only RSVPs,
    • • Aisle runner.
    • • Flowers for the ceremony location, other than bouquets and bout 
    • • Reception . We will use CD's on a player-piano.
    • • unity candle/ceremony accessories
    • • Gift bags.
    • • We are having the RD at a pizza parlor
    • • Being announced at the reception.
    • • All "special" dances
    • • Flowers for the reception,
    • • Reception
    • • Menus.
    • • Candy buffet.
    • • Disposable cameras.
    • • Bouquet and garter tosses.
    • • Wedding coordinator, DOC, etc.
    • Photographer, BIL will be taking pictures, however, I am getting a one hour groupon for family pictures
    • Cake cutting, we will just slice the first piece
    • Veil

    We included:

    • • Ivory wedding dress
    Daisypath - Personal pictureDaisypath Anniversary tickers image
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    Marrin713Marrin713 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    What are I Do letters?
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    2dbride - sounds like you skipped all the stuff that didn't mean a hill a beans to ya and still had a beautiful ceremony.  Kudos to you.  I'm totally ready to sit down and make the list of what to toss and what to keep!  Thanks everyone Laughing
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    debbiem56debbiem56
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://second.weddings.com/Sites/weddings/Pages/main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_traditions-ones-did-keep?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:8187acf3-ae56-45fd-a792-ed82d3cb4d2fPost:12ae0b62-e3c8-4d5b-8af8-29cd7730c726">Re: Traditions - which ones did you keep?</a>:
    [QUOTE]What are I Do letters?
    Posted by Marrin713[/QUOTE]

    Wooden letters that spell I DO that you put on the cake table - another decoration
    Daisypath - Personal pictureDaisypath Anniversary tickers image
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    Marrin713Marrin713 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Ah so Debbie - thanks.  I was thinking "letters" as in correspondence and could not for the life of me figure out how that could be incorporated into the wedding.
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    handfast4mehandfast4me member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It's easier to list what we DID do.  The two of us, on a beach, with the officiant.  No guests, no wedding party.  We didn't call quarters, but paid respect to the gods/goddesses of each quarter, nor did we do the great rite, but we did the cakes and ale ritual, exchanged rings, and vows, and kissed to seal the deal. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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    squarepeg72squarepeg72
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    SInce this is a first amrrainge for FH, we are doing some of the "Traditional" stuff but with an occassional twist.

    We are having a bridal party: My kiddos and his best friend's kids (who he has helped raise) make up the bulk of that
    My son is walking me down the aisle (his request) and my kids are asking FH to join our family instead of giving me away
    I have a brooch bouquet and the BM's are carring silk flowers
    We are using music from movie score instead of tradiotional ceremony music
    We are filling an hourglass with 5 colors of sand instead of the usual sand ceremony
    I do have a garter for him to toss and a toss bouquet for me to throw (his request)
    Program fans for the ceremony but no menus, assigned seating, or special announced dances at the reception
    His dad is making the cake and we have a cake topper but no "I Do" letters

    We are doing what we want, if it happens to meet a traditon ... so be it ...

    Wedding Countdown Ticker PhotobucketPhotobucket June 2012 Siggy Challange - Shoes
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    2dBride2dBride member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    marceedee:  Yep, I never set out to have a "traditional" or "nontraditional" wedding.  I wanted one that would be meaningful to NotFroofy and me, and fun for our guests.
    Anniversary
    Our wedding bio page (including vendor reviews) and items for sale
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We had what I thought was one of the most beautiful weddings in the history of weddings, and we did very little that was traditional.  No engagement party, rehearsal dinner (actually we took my brother's family to dinner at a diner), our cat was the ring bearer, I had a croquembouche, so no wedding cake or cutting of the cake.  We did have a beautiful dinner, a harpist played for the cocktail hour and I did have a fabulous white velvet gown, but no bouquet or garter toss, no guest book or unity candles.  Basically, we had a very elegant dinner party, our wedding ceremony took about ten minutes, and we wore fancy clothes, and it was absolutely fantastic.  Oh yes, we still had money in the bank when it was all over and paid for.
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    ichellemay1ichellemay1
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    We skipped:

    • Engagement photos.

    • Engagement party.

    • B Parties

    • Shower. (although I think my co-workers might have a little something)
    • Welcome bags/OOT bags.
    • Special attire wedding party
    • Being escorted down the aisle.  I might have my Dad walk me, but still working on logistics.
    • Limo.

    • Placecards and table numbers (luncheon was small seat-yourself affair in the private dining room of a restaurant, and at-home reception was cocktail style seating)
    • I DO letters.
    • Chargers.
    • Any clothing that said "bride."
    • RSVP envelopes (We had online-only or telephone RSVPs
    • Aisle runner.
    • Flowers for the ceremony location, other than my bouquet
    • Wedding musician. We are only using 3 songs and they will be played off an ipod.
    • Unity candle/ceremony accessories
     Gift bags.
    • Rehearsal dinner.  Some people won't be in town the day before, so we will probably just have dinner with the ones who are there.
    • Being announced at the reception.
    • All "special" dances other than the first dance - no dancing at our reception - it is just dinner at a casual restaurant.
    • Flowers for the reception
    • Reception dress
    • Menus - whatever's on the restaurant's menu is up for grabs.  And just to clarify - my parents are paying for the dinner.
    • Candy buffet.
    • Disposable cameras. Most of our friends have cameras, and we just asked that they bring them and upload the photos to our photo-sharing website afterward.
    • Bouquet and garter tosses.
    • Wedding coordinator, DOC, etc.
    I'm sure there are others, but 2d bride's list was so good - I used it.  Thanks for sharing!

    Anniversary
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    thealphabridethealphabride
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    We skipped the limo, and all the rest below:
    no rice, bird seed, or anything thrown at us, no formal exit.
    large bridal party (just had 2 attendants each side, our family members) 
    chargers, I do letters, any clothing that said "bride"
    Garter and Bouquet toss
    Father Daughter dance, but I had a dance with all my best girlfriends that was soooo coooool. and I had the first dance with my hubby, and I had a MOTHER/SON dance because there were tons of moms and sons there, it was open to all the guests .....
    Gift Bags/OOT bags/Menu's/Aisle Runner/Unity candle
    I did hava a Bachelorette party of sorts, weekend away at the beach with 4 of my best girlfriends.
    No bachelor party
    I had a small shower but really didn't want one, my sister (MOH) insisted
    Candy buffet, photo booth...disposable cameras.  
    Formal ceremony musicians / my friend sang and played the keyboard.
    What WE HAD:
    Formal Attire/
    Bride had hair and make up done professionally
    Flowers, gorgeous flowers!!! and more flowers, did I say I loved flowers?  
    Beautiful Ceremony and Reception Venue (same location)
    Cocktail Hour/ no apps.
    Catered dinner with alcohol and cake, with cutting---NO smashing.
    Formal Speeches, they were very short, 1 minute from each of our sons and opening welcome from my sister who was a BM, and a toast by my MOH also my sister.
    Photog/Videographer
    My son escorted me down the aisle
    Ceremony music, my friend played the keyboard and sang
    DJ for the reception tons of dancing, drinking and fun.
    RD with our entire families and OOT family

    We had a lovely wedding and lots of great memories. Just do the things you actually want to do and leave the rest.

    The only thing I regret is that I didn't insist that there would be no bridal shower.

    Good luck!!!!






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    sarafoley98sarafoley98 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I got married the first time at 23 and was married less than 2 years. Now, at 29, my FI is 33 and never been married. He's also the first child/ grandchild of his family to get married, so we couldn't skip everything I wanted to!
    We're skipping:
    -Garter and bouquet toss
    - Guest book
    - Bridal portraits (you get enough on the wedding day)
    - Newspaper announcements
    -Tuxes (groomsmen wearing suits)
    - Poufy diva wedding dress (Mine is very simple, but still ivory)
    We're keeping just about everything else : flowers, showers, bachelor/ette parties, rehearsal dinner etc. For me, it was a chance to be more creative with what I wanted and leave out things that didnt make sense.
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