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Second Weddings

Momzilla strikes again...mini get off my chest talk

Yes folks she is at it again...I can handle the picking at the menu (she threatened to go to a nearby restaurant because she didn't like the food - I said have fun see ya later), I can handle her whining that she didn't get to pick out my dress or that she has no say in practically anything (might I add FI and I are footing the bill and not her hence why we are doing things as Frank Sinatra would say - My Way) however just before she went to visit my younger step brother across the ocean in England she gives me this bombshell  "I want to walk you down the aisle as well your father did your first wedding and we know how that turned out"

My father is still alive and is honoured to walk me again down the aisle (he is a closet AW just wont say it...lol) and my mother who is a bigger AW than anyone I have ever met went as far as saying that my aunt walked my cousin down the aisle at her second wedding so why can't she.  Might I add my aunt did this as my uncle had passed on by then and my aunt and cousin are way closer than my mom and I will ever be.  I know I shoud put my big girl panties on and tell her that she way over stepping and to just be a guest but I know I won't tell her politely.   FI has already said no to the idea and is ready to disinvite her to the wedding for this latest stunt.  With 19 days to go, I didn't need this silliness from her.

Time to make my butterfly placecards (something else she will complain about but I don't care I like butterflies...Cool)

Re: Momzilla strikes again...mini get off my chest talk

  • edited December 2011
    LOL I'm sorry you're dealing with this. To be honest i've had a lot of silliness from the parents and other family members too, so I feel your pain. We're also doing it "My way" a la Frank Sinatra (love him btw), and a lot of people don't like that. I say, boo hoo tough sh*t for you. :)
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  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Oh my stars.  Well, I think you're handling all of this exactly correctly.   Have fun at the restaurant, see you later, was EXACTLY the correct response.  

    And I think that's what we're here for--is to vent.  Well, partially.  We're also here to look at pictures after your wedding.  :-) 

    Ok, so being the devil's advocate--what harm would it do to have both your parents walk you down the aisle?  Or, instead of that, is there something else you could include her in on so she feels special?  If you can think of something you could frame it like this "wow, mom!  That's an interesting idea, but I totally had plans for you to do XYZ, so you don't have to share the spotlight with dad!" 

    Let us know how it turns out!
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
  • edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry your Mom is trying to tell you how to run your wedding.  I am a 61 yr old interdenominal minister who has officiated at 100's of weddings and I have seen too many mothers & daughters not even speaking to each other by the day of the wedding.  You should have the wedding YOU want.  While many brides have both parents walk them down the aisle, the only time I have EVER officiated a wedding that had just a mother walk a child down the aisle is if the father had passed away or was out of the child's life entirely.  

    Perhaps your Mom just wants to be more included.  Is there anything pertaining to your wedding that you could just hand over to her to do?  Even if it's just greeting people as they arrive & have them sign your wedding book?  When I married my present husband my mother-in-law was giving me LOTS of unsolicited advice (though at the time I was in my mid-40's!) so since she IS very creative, I asked her to do the centerpieces for the tables.  She was thrilled to be a part of the day & while the pieces weren't exactly what I would have done, I'd picked out the flowers (with her along for the ride) in the colors I wanted so they were fine.
    If you don't feel thereis anything you can turn over to her, you need to be firm and tell her that while you appreciate her suggestions, this will be YOUR day to remember and it needs to the be style and tone you want to remember as your day.

    I was lucky to have a mother that wanted ME to be happy and (even if she faked it) was thrilled with anything I wanted to do on my day.  I wish you luck and lots of happiness in the future!
  • edited December 2011
    I've told her before that she wouldn't be walking me down the aisle even if my father wasn't able too - although I'm not overly traditional - here I am and am trying to tell her to shine as mom of the bride.  My step dad has even told her he would get her whatever she wants to standout in the spotlight in London or Paris.  I have been letting her know what has been going on and such but honestly when I was sitting down for lunch yesterday with a good friend and thought about it, my mother seems to still be mad at me for not inviting certain family members (haven't spoken to them in two years or seen them plus we were never really that close) and the fact I won't change the venue to suit the said not invited people.  

    I have some prewedding pictures already done - my two daughters in their dresses for the fittings, the flowers are almost done and how I wish I had a cricut cutter right now, 60 butterflies by and then different butterflies and dragonflies, etc is murder on the hand but its how I want the guess book (I scrapbook as a hobby) and figure the shapes with the well wishes and signatures would be a lovely touch to the book :)  Is there a board for that - picture sharing?
  • edited December 2011
    I say since you only have control over yourself not others..KEEP DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING :)

    You are handling things great and I love that you sound like you have an awesome attitude (very important for your sanity).
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