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Recently engaged and now he's deployed....

kabrazmomkabrazmom
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in Military Brides
Hello Fellow Brides-to-be....
My Fiance just deployed last Friday (1/28/2010) from Fort Campbelll (KY). Is there anyone else on here sharing my tears? This is my first deployment experience (his 3rd). Is the emptyness and feeling I'm going to cry at the drop of a hat ever going to end?

Thanks in advance!
Jennifer
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Re: Recently engaged and now he's deployed....

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    JynxeyJynxey member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am going to be going through a deployment coming up quicker than I would like to admit. Sending e-hugs! 
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    kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Hi Jennifer, please remove the unit your fiance is in as well as the deployment date. That's too much private information out in public. 

    You will be okay, it's perfectly normal to be upset for a few days. You'll pick yourself up. It's best to pick a set amount of time to wallow (maybe a couple days or at most a week), and then make yourself get out of misery. Go work out every day, ask a friend to set up a weekly friend date, take a craft class or school class. Don't let yourself wallow!

    I'm glad you guys chose to wait and go through a deployment as a couple before you get married. Very responsible and smart!
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    calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hang in there!  Give yourself a goal before he gets back - did you want to get in better shape?  Join a gym or sign up for some yoga classes.  Already in shape and want to push yourself?  Sign up for a marathon in a few months and find a friend to train with. Is there a skill you wanted to learn?  See if the local community college has some classes you can audit inexpensively.  Do you believe in a cause, whether it's children's education or neglected animals?  Sign up to volunteer somewhere.

    Basically, make this time count for something so it doesn't just feel like you're just waiting for him.  It's okay to be sad for a few days, but ultimately it's not okay to put your life on hold indefinitely - it's simply not healthy.  Find a goal that will give you something to work on or focus on while he's gone.

    Good luck, hang in there, and remember we're all here if you need to vent!  Just make sure to follow OPSEC and remove any specifics (names, units, dates, locations). 

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    iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Holy OPSEC!  Please click this link and read it:  http://www.opsecprofessionals.org/articles/OPSEC_Rules.html

    Please take the unit name and deployment date out of your subject and post.  I realize there are some people who don't know crap about OPSEC, but this is something your FI should have spoken to you about long before he left. 

    Second, it sucks.  Lord, do I know deployments suck.  I always give myself a week to mope, eat ice cream for dinner and throw a pitty party.  After that, I move on.  Your FI doesn't want you back here feeling sorry for your self.  He wants you to be ok.  Honestly, he needs you to be ok.  If he is worrying about you being lost with out him, he isn't focused on his job.  Soldiers who are not focused on the mission get hurt or get their buddies hurt. 
    Find something to keep you busy.  Focus on your job or school.  Take some classes.  Go volunteer.  Write him a ton of letters.  When my H is deployed, I send him a letter or note every day.  I send a small package every week and a large package once a month.  I also watch a ton of girl movies.  I take trips to visit friends and family who are out of town.  I invite other people to come visit me. 
    This is what you make it.  Take this time to build yourself into a stronger woman. 
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    kabrazmomkabrazmom
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you everyone so much for your kind words and advice! I had no idea there were rules and regulations regarding unit names/locations, etc! (Boy, do I have a lot to learn!!)
    Thanks again ladies! Together we can and will get through this!!
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    Drew&MichelleDrew&Michelle
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Diddo and getting rid of too much information. Pronto

    My fiance' and I have been through 3 deployments now. Number four is about to come up. You never get over missing them, you just get used to it. As soon as he is home though you totally forget about the time he was gone. Show him you are strong but don't let him think he don't wish he was there. Remember he is under and amazing amount of stress. I hope you have most of your wedding plans underway as for what you need his opinion on. I don't get to talk over the phone very much with my fiance' when he is gone and he has a limited time he can be on the computer, he is on a ship. So I write him everyday, the short phone conversations mostly consist on 'i love you's' and 'miss you's'. Most of all your relationship changes for the better, you become very strong and will be able to handle anything that comes your way.
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    calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You can click "edit" under the post - remove the base and the day he left.  Seriously, do this soon or I'm going to report you (not because of anything personal, but so the moderators can come and remove the post so it doesn't endanger your loved ones or others).

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    peaceisthewaypeaceistheway
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    my fiance and i got engaged august 26th :). he deployed mid/late september :(. we didn't even have a month of engagedness to enjoy. when he first left, it was so brutal. i joined what i thought was a good site for me (MSOS)... and i enjoyed my first whole week on there. it started becoming just a great place to vent, and get similar shoulders of experience to lean on... until i got banned. it was something so dumb, too. girls and their estrogen fluctuations! whatever. no hard feelings, but im not your average "military wife" type anyways... so im not shocked i got banned so quickly. kind of funny, looking back :).

    you're gonna be fine. its a scary ordeal to endure, but i promise that it makes your relationship that much stronger. and yes, i'm seconding the kudos to you waiting until after the deployment to get married. aside from the benefits, it's just a ton of extra tension on an already super tense situation.

    my advice: allow yourself to experience the feelings. you should be sad, thats completely normal. just don't let it consume you. turn it into productivity... better yourself so you can be a better partner for your soon to be hubby. learn a new instrument, take yoga classes (my personal saving grace), go hiking, get into arts and crafts (even if you don't think youre "good" at it... just express yourself!). the time will pass, and he'll be right back to you. you've got SO much to look forward to, so focus on everything positive in your life :).

    **i thought this deployment would never end... and here i am... in the home stretch. he comes home next month, and i'm jumping out of my skin excited :)**

    good luck, and if you ever need someone to talk to, im just a message away :).
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    meganiobemeganiobe
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am going through the same thing! just keep busy that is what helps me the most, and make sure that you try not to dwell on the fact that he is gone, he is going through it too, and it's harder for both of you if you are down. I am not saying it's easy, because lord knows it's not! Just keep your chin up and he will be home soon!
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    kabrazmomkabrazmom
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    OK all...i tried to remove my post and I gues i did but i have no idea where the "edit" button is. 
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    calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011

    It's gone now since someone must have reported it - it's for your own safety.  "Edit" is located directly under your post, see where "Reply" is? 


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    kabrazmomkabrazmom
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yes I do see that, but I believe it is gone because I immediately deleted it. How can I delete the posts by others that "replied" to my post with the original post "subject name"?
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    calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You can't delete an original post, which is how I know it was reported and thus deleted (don't take offense - you weren't blocked, as we can still see your other posts - it just removed your original post for security reasons, to keep us and our loved ones all safe).

    Under each post, you can click "Delete".  But it's not necessary, since you don't have any other private information.

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    kabrazmomkabrazmom
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well I do take offense for not knowing OPSEC. And, I can still see some replies with my fiance's unit number, etc. on them.
    It def won't happen again!
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