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January 2012 Weddings
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I lost a BM

TaraW1979TaraW1979 member
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in January 2012 Weddings
One of my BMs called me last night to tell me that she has military orders and will no longer be able to be my BM. She will be away from June-February training for a new job assignment. She also will not even be able to attend! I am so sad!!!! I cried last night and everytime I think of her not being there I get upset. She has been a great friend for almost a decade. I'm just crushed.

Also, now my sides are un-even. I asked another friend this morning but she told me no because she is trying to get pregnant. I don't know if I should ask another friend or just let the sides be un-even. What should I do????
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Re: I lost a BM

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    hippoloverhippolover member
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    I would just have them be uneven.  No one really will be looking at the attendents (only at you).  At the head table, you could leave a spot open with a place setting and a sign that says something like "This seat is for __________________ who is currently serving our country."  and maybe a picture of her.

    I have a good friend who is a BM in military too.  I empathize with you when you say you are crushed. 

    Hope you feel better soon!
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    TaraW1979TaraW1979 member
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    Thank you!

    Great idea with the table but we are planning on having only us sit at the head table because all of our BMs and GMs are married or in committed relationships and they want to sit with their significant other.
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    sosie&fangmansosie&fangman member
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    oh, that is a great way to memorilaize someone missing. One of my BM recently passed away, so i know how hard it is to think about someone very close to you missing your wedding. I chose not to replace her in an effort to memorialize her, but also because anyone standing there will know they were second choice. :)

    I know it's not the same situation, but a loss is a loss...i pray for her safety while she is away. :)
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    TaraW1979TaraW1979 member
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    I am so sorry! I feel like a jerk now. Yours passed away but mine just can't make it on that day. I would have never made this post if I knew this ahead of time. I can't imagine what you are going through. I feel so bad!
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    sosie&fangmansosie&fangman member
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    Please don't feel bad! It is hard to have someone you care about miss your wedding, no matter what the reason! :)  I simply wanted you to know I understand what you must be feeling and I thought Hippo's suggestion was GREAT! :) I think that would be a wonderful way to make your friend's presence felt at the reception! :)
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    MrsCheavisMrsCheavis member
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    edited May 2011
    You ladies are very strong and it's encouraging to see that you're still looking forward!  It's so easy for us, brides, to get caught up in the stresses of the wedding planning, and lose sight of other important areas of our lives.  The idea to memorialize our closest friends/families helps to show that we care about others and our wedding day isn't just for us and the FI!
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