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Wedding Party

Honorary Bridesmaids

Hi everyone! I am new to The Knot....just got engaged in Hawaii last week! 

We've been talking about wedding parties and have decided on 6 on each side...I have 3 sisters to include (2 on my side, 1 on my fiance's side) which leaves me room for 3 friends. 

Here is my question...I have a close knit group of 5 best friends from my sorority days....I also have 3 other best friends from high school and college. I have decided to put the group of 3 in the party and leave all 5 other girls out so that noone's feelings get hurt. However, I still would like them involved in the wedding...I was thinking of asking them to be Honorary Bridesmaids.

I would have a special job for each girl during the ceremony (two carrying down our young flower girl and ring bearer, one reading a passage during the ceremong and 2 greeting guests at the door). Our colors are purple, grey and peach...BM dresses are purple so I would ask the 5 honorary BM's to wear a dress of their choosing in grey....I would put the girls names in the program and have pictures done with them as well. I would also give them gifts for being a part of our day.

What are everyone's thoughts on this? Does this sound okay...or would the girls think they have jobs without the benefits of being BM's? 

If this is a good idea, how should I ask them? I wanted to do something cute...but I don't want anyone to accidentally think they are being asked to be BM and then get disappointed. I was thinking just a phone call and then send a follow up note or something....

Any thoughts or advice would be great! I am very new to wedding planning and just know that I would like to include all of my best friends in some way :)

Re: Honorary Bridesmaids

  • I'm in the exact same situation with trying to figure how I want to ask my four honorary bridesmaids and assign the tasks of guest book, gifts, programs, and sorority flowers on sisters. I understand its a huge stamp of "you're not a BM!" However, these tasks need to be assigned and I don't know who else to ask. From what all I've read here, I'm thinking maybe to just ask them to help in those areas and don't call them HBM. My venues have no room for more BM and my rehearsal dinner cannot fit anymore guests so I can't invite them to that either. But they all live out of town so I just wanted to involve them on THE BIG DAY! I would be relived personally so I wouldn't have to worry with all the other responsibilities.
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