Invite to Ceremony only?

cindy91788 · September 2010

I know that etiquette says you should not invite people to the ceremony and not the reception, however here is my situation:

We are getting married in a Catholic church - which requires Pre Cana. This church does things a little differently - we have to meet with a 'Mentor" couple 5 or 6 times over the next year. We have workbooks that they go over with us, etc.

We just had our first meeting with them, and they mentioned that they attended the wedding ceremony at the church for the last couple they mentored. They did not mention if they attended the reception.

I don't think they expect to be invited to the ceremony or reception, however I do think it would be a nice thing to invite them to the ceremony. (Since they are members of that church, they know the priest, and we will be meeting them numerous times over the next year in preparation for our wedding!).

I think it would be silly to invite them to the reception because they would not know anybody except for us.

So my question is, would it be ok to just invite them to the ceremony?
And should we send them a formal invitation, but leave out the Reception card?
or should we just verbally tell them the time that the ceremony is taking place? (They obviously already know the date). I thought maybe at our last meeting I could ask if they planned on attending the ceremony, or tell them we'd love it if they could come.. that way it is a little less formal then actually sending the invite.

Help!!

mica178 · September 2010

I answered you on E, but you should not send invitations to people not invited to the reception. Most Catholic churches post upcoming weddings and allow the public to attend. If you have many friends at the church who you do not plan on inviting to your reception, consider hosting cookies and punch during the gap for parishioners who show up to witness your nuptials.

Calypso1977 · September 2010

you cannot invite them only to the ceremony and not reception.

however, churches are public buildings. anyone can attend your ceremony if they wish you. most likley this couple simply attends all of the ceremonies for couples tehy have worked with, without an invite, adn no expectation of one.

once you see if a solid relationship develops as you go through precana, you may actually want to invite them. its only 2 people.

cindy91788 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_invite-ceremony-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:d0114592-76fb-4a1b-81be-e1cc8c91c9adPost:75f6173f-7891-4881-972e-511b97c1c95f">Re: Invite to Ceremony only?</a>:
[QUOTE]you cannot invite them only to the ceremony and not reception. however, churches are public buildings. anyone can attend your ceremony if they wish you. most likley this couple simply attends all of the ceremonies for couples tehy have worked with, without an invite, adn no expectation of one. once you see if a solid relationship develops as you go through precana, you may actually want to invite them. its only 2 people.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]
Yes, I agree, they would most likely plan to attend the church without an invitation, nor expect to receive an invitation.
We will play it by ear over the next year, and if at that time we feel that we'd like to invite them formally, then we will send the invitation for both the church and the reception.
Thanks!

ring_pop · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_invite-ceremony-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:d0114592-76fb-4a1b-81be-e1cc8c91c9adPost:87f0d094-a9b2-4ed8-bc5d-4cef633ba636">Invite to Ceremony only?</a>:
[QUOTE] I think it would be silly to invite them to the reception because they would not know anybody except for us.
Posted by cindy91788[/QUOTE]

This is very odd reasoning. You should invite them (or not) based on whether YOU want them there. If THEY don't feel comfortable coming because they won't know anyone, it's up to them to decline the invitation.

We invited our sponsor couple to both the ceremony and reception. After all, they volunteered their time to prepare us for marriage. It was the least we could do to thank them. Not everyone does, which is fine, but we developed a very good relationship with them and still get together with them regularly.

mica178 · September 2010

We didn't have a mentor couple, but my organist was really involved in my wedding planning, so I invited her. If no one else, at least she knows our priest. Ultimately, she turned down the reception invitation, but she was very grateful for the invitation.

DFWIndian · September 2010

We have the same thing you do. A sponsor couple we meet with and go through the work book. I already have them on the guest list and we haven't met them yet. I think if I'm going through my relationship with someone in a Catholic setting and everything else then why wouldn't they come? By that point they may know more about the two of you then anyone else. Also, how awkward they feel at the reception shouldn't be an issue. It's a great opportunity to meet people.

cindy91788 · October 2010

Thanks for the input! It is appreciated

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