NFP and Fertile on Wedding Night?

Tami87 · March 2012

So I've got less than four months to go until my wedding and I've been charting for a while now and starting to feel pretty confident. It is still a little early to know for sure, but it looks like our wedding night may fall a day or two before I would normally ovulate (horrible timing for TTA).

I'm trying not to get too worried about this (especially bc I know my cycle could go crazy in the next few months), but I can't help thinking about it. I realize it won't kill me if we have to wait a few extra days if we decide to abstain on our wedding night, but at the same time we have been waiting for over 4.5 years and I have been looking forward to that night! Part of me just wants to go for it, but since I still will be in graduate school and FI hasn't found a full time job using his degree yet we aren't in the best financial situation so it seems a tad irresponsible.

Did anyone else not have sex on their wedding night? What did you do instead (if you don't mind sharing)? Sleep, lol? Any thoughts or encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

monkeysip · March 2012

Not married yet, so I can't speak from experience, but FI and I are really not worried about it.

We will have been waiting 10.5 years by our wedding night, so yeah, we're anxious. But we have our whole lives to have sex. I think we'll be so excited to finally be married that it won't be disappointing if we can't have sex for a few days.

I'm thinking a nice bubble bath together sounds nice (if you have the strength to not let it go further)

There's going to be a lot of times when you're married when you have to make a difficult decision to abstain, or else, decide that you're going to go for it and allow for the possibility of a baby. This will just be one of those moments.

ElisabethJoanne · March 2012

This is a key episode in the memoir "Swimming with Scapulars." Recommended.

We plan on abstaining on our wedding night on the too-tired theory. Big parties are neither of our favorite things (but I still want a big wedding for my church friends to have the gorgeous liturgy), and I'll never be anxiety-free re: first-time sex. We've waited all our lives. We can wait one more night. One huge anxiety per day, if you can at all plan it that way.

Riss91 · March 2012

We were too tired anyway....

professorscience · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nfp-and-fertile-on-wedding-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:b458ef88-727a-4a9f-a476-aba22174463cPost:0720c3c8-4176-4d3d-8920-37e760a33b5e">Re: NFP and Fertile on Wedding Night?</a>:
[QUOTE]We were too tired anyway....
Posted by Riss91[/QUOTE]

<div>This. I was past my fertile period, and we were done with the reception by about 10, but I was SO exhausted I just wanted to go to sleep.</div>

Tami87 · March 2012

Thanks for making me feel better ladies. You are right monkeysip, this is just one of many times we will have to make tough decision.

lalaith50 · March 2012

We abstained for about a week. (It appeared that I ovulated precisely on my wedding day! And I was definitely counting the dates from about 4 months out... "if all my cycles are a little on the short side, then there's a *chance* the timing will work...but otherwise...") Like others have said, if you've been abstaining for- how long- ? a few more nights won't kill you.

My least favorite part was definitely whenever people asked us, "so how's married life?" and I had to bite my tongue the first week to avoid giving some smart-ass answer like, "the exact same as dating...except we sleep next to each other..."

We were also really tired that night, but it was really nice to be able to stay at the reception til the VERY end (even with that it seemed super short!) without worrying about rushing off cuz we were nervous/excited to do the deed. Especially if you've been chaste, then there's other things you can do that will be completely new and exciting that night- it's almost nice to not have to rush right into sex, like we saw each other naked for the first time. And, the first time that we actually did it, was definitely less than spectacular, and I can only imagine it would have been worse if we'd had the pressure of our wedding night on top of that!

So, yeah, summary- it was really annoying feeling like we weren't really "married" b/c we hadn't consummated our marriage, but it was only for a week, and I don't even remember that anymore!

caitriona87 · March 2012

We abstained on our wedding night because it was the tail end of phase 2, but we would have been too tired anyway, I think. What we did instead was read a lot of our cards, which was actually really nice--seeing all the well-wishes from our family & friends.

newlyseliski · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nfp-and-fertile-on-wedding-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:b458ef88-727a-4a9f-a476-aba22174463cPost:0720c3c8-4176-4d3d-8920-37e760a33b5e">Re: NFP and Fertile on Wedding Night?</a>:
[QUOTE]We were too tired anyway....
Posted by Riss91[/QUOTE]

<div>Ditto this... and we were also fertile on the wedding night and TTA! We'd already been waiting 5 years, so one more night wasn't that significant in the larger scheme of things... except then we had to abstain the whole honeymoon because pre-wedding stress had screwed up my whole cycle apparently... lucky us! A lot can happen in the four months before... and any change in stress level can throw things off... so you might be fine :-)</div>

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