Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Second Weddings
Second Weddings
New Discussion

Would this bother you?

teacherbride30teacherbride30 member
First Comment
in Second Weddings
We were originally going to have the ceremony at a park, but after checking it out...I'm just not crazy about the idea anymore.  It will be really hot, not enough chairs and would have to rent...etc, just wasn't feeling it.  I had the idea to get married in a church because it would be more comfortable.  I'm not religious, but my FI's family is.  They are VERY involved in their church and of course they suggested that we get married there.  The only problem is that he married his ex wife in the same church.  Would this bother you?  Just curious....
Report Reply to Post

Re: Would this bother you?

  • mmhepbmmhepb
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think there are some things that would depend on.  How long ago were he and his ex married and divorced?  Would he be inviting the same basic group of people?  Same pastor?  

    If it were recent or if there were a lot of overlaps, it would make me uncomfortable, but that's just me. 
    Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end... Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • teacherbride30teacherbride30 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    He was married 17 years ago and divorced 7 years.  The pastor would be different.
    Report Reply
  • IslandBeachBrideIslandBeachBride member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would be bothered, but that's just me... regardless of the time they were married & divorced.  It might bring up some good/bad memories for him that you might not want to deal with on the day.  Personally, I'd be checking out other venues. 

    Do you have any small chapels or botanical gardens in your area?
    Created by Wedding Favors
    Report Reply
  • awayagainawayagain member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    That's a tough one.  I would  have to say that I would probably see this as my last option.  Take IBB's advice and check out some nice gardens or small chapels.

    Report Reply
  • mmhepbmmhepb
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree, if FI's family is active in the church, but you and FI aren't, I'd consider finding a different location.
    Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end... Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • teacherbride30teacherbride30 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are getting married in our hometown...population 1, 500.  The nearest larger town is 40 miles away.  There aren't a lot of options around here....but there is another chapel at the same church.  They didn't technically get married in that one...lol
    Report Reply
  • renjon7798renjon7798 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    What other locations are there besides a church?  I recently went to a wedding that was in a historical theater.  Do you have a museum or old Oprea House in town?  Maybe a historical home where you could have your ceremony?  Having the wedding in the same church would bother me.
    Report Reply
  • PhoenixMamaPhoenixMama
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sounds like the other chapel may be a good thing to check out then.  :-)

    It's good too that the pastor is different, I think that would help me a lot, if I was in that type of situation. 

    Also, if this is the only overlap, I don' t think it's a big deal.
    Visit Red.weddings.com Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    No, it wouldn't really bother me.  But ... I wonder if, since you are not religious, would it feel right to you having a ceremony in a Church?  You did not mention if your FI is religious.  Is he?  Even though it is a small town, I would think there are other venue options.  Good luck!
    Report Reply
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    @Teacher Bride~ All that REALLY matters is how you feel.  If it works for you or if it doesn't that's what's important. 
    Report Reply
  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    It wouldn't bother me.  The reason he still thinks it is a viable option is because it is his family's church home, not because he got married there 17 yrs ago.

    I do think it is important that you are happy and comfortable with your location so you just really have to break it down and decide if it is worth being bothered by, or if you just can't get it out of your head.
    Report Reply
  • iluvmy0341iluvmy0341
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah I'm just weird about that stuff. Like I hate it when my husband takes me to places where he took his ex gfs and then tells me how awesome it was when he was here with Susie Q...uh yuck! lol So I would def not want to be married in the same church as he married his ex. Plus, it'll remind him of the day he married her...just pick a diff venue!
    Report Reply
  • blush64blush64 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It would bother me whether it should or not. Plus I wouldn't get married in someone else's church.
    Report Reply
  • lindaloulubbocklindaloulubbock
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If he is still an active member of the church, it wouldn't bother me.  If he wasn't and it was just convenient, I'd probably want something else (perhaps outside), but using te minister from that church if it was an option.
    Report Reply
  • MrsChaseyMrsChasey
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'd like to say it wouldn't bother me, but I'd be lying.
    Report Reply
  • WTFdasmahcupcakeWTFdasmahcupcake member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It's irrelevant whether it would bother us, does it bother YOU?

    If it doesn't, that's ok. My exs new wife moved into the house I had lived in. She made it her own. It didn't matter. Other people owned it before I did and I may it my own. :)

    It's a church. It is not hers or yours or anyone else's.

    Personally, it wouldn't bother me. If it doesn't bother you, don't question it and look for a reason to let it bother you. Best of luck!

    Report Reply
  • gottadance64gottadance64 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    One word: YES.

    It most certainly would bother me. My bf and I are dealing with this - he was married in a Catholic church for his first wedding. I'm not a church goer at all (rasied Catholic, not practicing), now he says he wants to get married in church. I want to do something different from what he did the first time. I'd assume get married at the same location as the reception. I don't want our wedding to be anything like his last one.
      
    Daring to dream a bigger dream
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards