Etiquette

No Thank-you Note

I co-hosted a bridal shower for a friend two months ago and never recieved a thank-you note from the bride.  The MOH and I planned a wine themed shower that wasn't cheap and tried really hard to make it nice for the bride.  The MOH and I also went in together for an expensive gift.  We did all this because she is our friend and I am really happy for her - but neither of us recieved a thank-you note.  After asking around it turns out no one recieved thank-yous.  I even took the time to write down every gift she got and who it was from.

I did recieve a thank-you note last week for her wedding gift, but there was no mention of the shower at all.  Am I wrong in being upset about this?  I'm also worried that people who sent gifts to the shower are afraid she never recieved them. 

Is this just a case of get over it?  Or should I say something to the bride?

Re: No Thank-you Note

  • I think it sounds like you're lucky you got a thank you note for the wedding gift.
  • Yes, just get over it.  Some people suck and don't know how to send thank you cards.  Be mad, but I wouldn't say anything to the bride about it.  She probably thanked you in person at the shower and didn't think to send a thank you card since she did that.
  • Some people just don't send thank you cards.  It's rude and hurtful when you've spent time and money to do something nice for someone, but some people just don't know manners or etiquette.  I don't think you should say anything to her though.  It's her bad, not yours.

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  • Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do but just get over it. People suck sometimes. But then again, I know I've screwed up stuff like this before.

    Was she at least gracious at the shower and did she thank you in person/via e-mail?


  • Hmmm...  Well, she sent a thank you note for the wedding gift, so maybe she just doesn't know you're supposed to send a thank you note for the shower?  I mean, it's pretty lame, but maybe she doesn't know any better.  Some people are clueless.
  • I spent almost $1000 on my friend's wedding being a bridesmaid.  It was over a year ago and I have yet to receive a thank you note for anything.  She did not send one to her MOH either, who spent well over $1000 on showers and the wedding.  It sucks but I just kind of got over it and realized the bride wasn't that great of a friend to begin with.  I wouldn't say something.
  • No way in heck I'd spend over $1000 on someone else's wedding.
  • She thanked everyone while opening gifts but that was all.  There were several OOT people that couldn't make it and sent gifts.  I'm worried she is just clueless and doesn't think she needs to send thank-yous to everyone... I just don't get it!!  How can you NOT send a thank-you??

    Your replies have been helpful so far - looks like i'll just vent here and get over it!
  • It sucks and she's rude, but what will you accomplish by confronting her about it? 

    Get over it.
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  • Ditto Sucrets.  She knows everything.
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  • In Response to Re: No Thank-you Note:
    I spent almost $1000 on my friend's wedding being a bridesmaid.  It was over a year ago and I have yet to receive a thank you note for anything.  She did not send one to her MOH either, who spent well over $1000 on showers and the wedding.  It sucks but I just kind of got over it and realized the bride wasn't that great of a friend to begin with.  I wouldn't say something.
    Posted by kate51485
    Dear goodness, if my BMs COMBINED spend that much on our wedding I'll be upset.  That's nuts.  I hope your friend wasn't planning parties herself that you all had to pay for. 
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  • She sucks, but pointing out someone's rudeness is rude in itself. So just let it go. Now you'll know better for next time - when she needs someone to plan a baby shower, don't be the first in line to volunteer.
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  • I don't know that there's any way of bringing it up without calling her attention to it.  Yes, she should be taught and she should know better but it can be really tacky to tell her too.

    The only way IMO that it can work is if you're talking about showers in general and you mention that you need a person writing down the gifts and who they're from for the TY notes...and even then you're heading down a very slippery slope if you go there. 
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