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Good news and sad news

dibsontopdibsontop member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
in Delaware
Good news...
My dress is in!!!


Sad news...
Also found out yesterday that my grandmom's cancer has spread to her lungs and liver and in all likelihood, won't survive until the wedding.  We've been lucky to have her as long as we have (she's my last living grandparent), but I know she was really looking forward to the wedding and also two of my cousins graduating next year.
Cry

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Re: Good news and sad news

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    wicked_faerywicked_faery member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i'm so sorry to hear that T_T. i hope she's able to hold out....
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    Ms.BriarRoseMs.BriarRose
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    edited December 2011
    First off, great news about your dress!  That's wonderful!

    I am so very sorry to hear about your grandmother.  I know how hard it is to lose a grandparent, especially now that we are older.  When my grandfather died in 2008, it was the hardest thing I had ever gone thru (and doubly so because I had never experienced a close death until his).  Many prayers for your family and grandmother, and for you.  Just remember, when she goes, she isn't in pain anymore (and in a better place).  And she will live on in your memories and your stories.

    Is your grandmother home on hospice?  I was against it when I first heard they were putting my grandfather on it, but after having gone thru the entire process, I am such a supporter for hospice.  They really put the family's needs first; since the 4 grandkids had never dealt with this before, they made sure to talk with us without making us feel overburdened, they took care of my grandmother (who broke her ankle 3 days before he died and needed surgery but knew it was near the end, so she waited until after the funeral...the nurses said that was probably why he held out so long, because he was waiting for her to have surgery and she was waiting for him to pass on; 60 years married will do that for ya), listened to all the stories we told, asked visitors to leave when we became overwhelmed, and came to the funeral.  They still call my grandmother and check up on her.  We used Compassionate Care, but Heartland is decent too.  I know many people think hospice is a sad and horrible thing, but I really encourage you and your family to look into it; it was the best thing we did for my grandpa and the family.

    If you want to talk offline, my email is msbriarrose@gmail.com.  All the best, and many prayers, for you all during this difficult time.
    Mrs. BLWSquared
    October 2, 2010
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    dibsontopdibsontop member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you for your thoughts.  This is very weird for me.  My mom's dad passed away when I was about 5 years old.  Both my dad's parents passed away before I was 10, and we were never very close with them.  So I really don't remember much of what went on back then.

    My grandmother turned 80 a few years ago and has always been relatively healthy until this year.  She discovered the tumor in her groin area just a couple months ago.  They did various scans and determined the cancer hadn't spread, so they decided to go ahead with surgery.  She had her first surgery about a month ago.  It took a few weeks but she was back up doing fine.  When I just saw her on Mother's Day, she told me she was having a second surgery this week to make sure everything was taken care of.  She said she wanted to be back up and well in time for the wedding.  Well, it was in preparing for this surgery and in addition to her being hospitalized with some breathing problems that they discovered that quickly it had spread to her lungs and liver.

    My mom and her siblings decided together to bring her home and put her in hospice care.  They've already brought the bed and oxygen tanks.  Although they have the hospice, my mom and her siblings have decided that each one will take one day off a week to be home with her.  Luckily, my mom is one of 6 children, most of which have some medical training.

    I've discussed with my mom whether or not it would be a good idea to give my grandmom her wedding invitation now.  My mom said she had already thought about that and asked me to make one, and she'll discuss with her siblings if they think she'd apprecite that or if it would upset her too much.  She also said maybe when I pick my dress up this weekend we can take a picture to show her if they decide it's a good idea.

    Really, this is just new territory for me.  And I think a lot has to do with not being sure how to support my mom in all of this.  She's already been apologizing in advance if she's unable to help with more of the wedding planning as time gets closer.  I've told her not even to worry about it, but I know she will.

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    Mrs.LuraTMrs.LuraT
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    edited December 2011
    Wow, I'm really sorry you are going through this. 
    My grandmother passed away two weeks after I became engaged.  It will be two years on the 25th of this month.  She was so happy for me, so I would definitly give your grandmom an invitation to your wedding, and also show her a picture of you in your wedding gown.  If she does pass before your wedding, you can know that she did see you in your gown and be happy for you. 

    btw, congrats on your gown :)
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    Mattsbride10Mattsbride10 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sorry to hear about your grandma. I had to go thru that with mine a couple of years ago so I know what you're going thru is terribly hard. Best wishes to you and your family. Let us know what you decide to do with the invitation. Also congrats on your dress. Post a pic if you have one.
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    dibsontopdibsontop member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well, things happened really quickly and my grandmother passed away last night.  Luckily, I was able to get home this weekend and see her both Saturday and yesterday morning to say goodbye.

    I stopped by her apartment Saturday after picking up my wedding dress and showed it to her.  She was having difficulty communicating but I know she was very happy to see it.

    I think everyone was shocked at how quickly it all happened, but in the end, I'm sure it's best as she didn't have to suffer in pain for very long at all.  Thank you all for your thoughts.

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