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April 2013 Weddings
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Lovable motherinlaw Trying to take over our plans/Ideas

ahriahri
First Comment
in April 2013 Weddings
Sooo..I love and get along very well with my future motherinlaw.But ever since we've started planning our wedding get thoughts and ideas and opinions are starting to seem to take over the wants/needs of my family.My fiance and I are splitting the costs but basically it seems like my mother and I are gonna be planning it.My Fiance just isn't that into it.Im fine with input from his family but it's starting to just seem like THEIR family wedding...I'm not ok with this..Most decisions are OURS to make anyway.They don't even like our date we've changed so many times for HIS family I'm praying we won't change it again!!He says we won't.Theyll have to deal it'll all work out ..I know.Sorry this has turned into a rant ..Any Tips/Advice?Thank you:
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Re: Lovable motherinlaw Trying to take over our plans/Ideas

  • nay1984nay1984 member
    First Comment
    maybe have a talk with FI to let him knwo that you want the decisions to be yours..maybe dont bring up the MIL too much..just say that there are going to be a lot of decisions coming up and u dont wanna irrationally make them, that you want to think about them discuss them together...tell him it means a lot to you that he is involved..

    i kinda have the opposite..my FI and his mom dont get along so she doesnt have much say. but I had to tell my FI that as much as this is a girlie thing i want him to be involved. 
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  • audrewuhaudrewuh member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited March 2012
    My first tip would be to talk with  your FI. You guys need to come to agreement on what's important and what isn't. Like, what will the TWO of you have the most control over and what is up for flexible input from families.

    Since you guys are paying for it, you get to make the decisions. Period. You cannot let someone plan your wedding for you unless you let them. This is the first opportunity for you and your FI to stick up for yourselves/each other as you begin your life together. They will do this unti the end of the world if you let them. Be strong now so you don't have to later. 

    So, make a list of what you want and don't want. Firmly communicate this to your FIL's and your own parents when the issue arrises. Then stick to it. If it hurts a few feelings, that sucks, but you're a grown woman. You're going to hurt some feelings. 

    I don't think I can say it enough: you and FI, and ONLY you and FI, have the power to say no, so say it. 
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    "You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc Anniversary
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  • ahriahri
    First Comment
    You're absolutely right.We have already made the first step in that as far as Wedding Planning goes.we saw where we wanted the reception to be and had to jump on securing it or lose it..So even though she didn't agree My FIL...I paid the deposit because WE wanted it.So she stepped back and didn't say anymore .Its done now and WERE happy:Everyone doesn't have to approve:Thanks for the advice!!
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  • nay1984nay1984 member
    First Comment
    nice! just always tell yourself that..not everyone will be happy so make sure you and FI are...
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