Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
New Discussion
Options

Mom vs. Step-Mom

ashleymerrill2007ashleymerrill2007 member
5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
I'm wondering how to incorporate my stepmom into our wedding.  My parents were divorced when I was four because my dad cheated with my stepmom, but they've lasted 18 years.  Obviously, my mom still loathes them both, especially her.  I actually love her to death, and she's been really helpful with the wedding planning, which my real mom hasn't been.  I was thinking of having my brother, an usher, walk them both down together and sit between them in front, so Audra won't feel wierd not knowing anyone at the wedding and have to sit alone.  My mom is probably going to FLIP OUT if I tell her this.  I know it's supposed to be what I want, but I really don't want to start any wedding drama, or have my mom feel less important, but Audra is really a big part of my life now.  Options, please!Laughing
Report Reply to Post

Re: Mom vs. Step-Mom

  • Options
    SCogs18SCogs18 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I don't think they should walk down the aisle together.  You mom could be walked down by her own usher or perhaps a brother (if she has one) and then your step mom can be seated by someone else right after her.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker LilySlim Weight loss tickers

    image 225 Invited so far!
    image 148 Are ready to party!
    image 77 Will be missing out!
    image 0 Are MIA!
    Report Reply
  • Options
    redheadfsuredheadfsu member
    First Comment
    Why do you want them to walk together when your mom hates her? They can both walk down, but I wouldn't force them to do it together. That is really ackward.

    Planning Bio
    Married 9/15/11

    image
    *This is Not Legal Advice*
    Report Reply
  • Options
    kmmssgkmmssg mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Stepmoms are usually seated just prior to the MOG.  They are still part of the processional and recognized as such.  Is there a problem with going that route?  As a MOB and a stepmom, I would be seriously peeved.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    blush64blush64 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_mom-vs-step-mom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:c91c60c2-3fcb-410c-aefd-41da5e4b6a1aPost:b1f637f2-880f-47c4-9bf0-7796676a3592">Re: Mom vs. Step-Mom</a>:
    [QUOTE]Stepmoms are usually seated just prior to the MOG.  They are still part of the processional and recognized as such.  Is there a problem with going that route?  As a MOB and a stepmom, I would be seriously peeved.
    Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

    I am not a MOB but I agree with this.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    NOLAbridealmostNOLAbridealmost member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    Definitely don't seat your stepmom after your mom.  The mother of the bride is usually seated last. It signifies to the guests that the wedding party is about to enter. It would definitely feel like your mom's role was being usurped if your step mom was seated last.
    image
    Fatty Blog
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ootmother2ootmother2 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_mom-vs-step-mom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:c91c60c2-3fcb-410c-aefd-41da5e4b6a1aPost:b1f637f2-880f-47c4-9bf0-7796676a3592">Re: Mom vs. Step-Mom</a>:
    [QUOTE]Stepmoms are usually seated just prior to the MOG.  They are still part of the processional and recognized as such.  Is there a problem with going that route?  As a MOB and a stepmom, I would be seriously peeved.
    Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]


    ditto!
    Report Reply
  • Options
    AurorasEnvyAurorasEnvy
    First Comment
    I agree, I wouldn't have them walk together.  And I'd seat them further apart than just one person.
    photo trex2_zps7ab4e9b0.jpg
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Report Reply
  • Options
    MelissaC315MelissaC315 member
    First Comment

    It seems like they are both special women in your life and they both deserve to be recognized. Unfortunately, the situation with your mom/step mom and what happened makes it tricky. I would have them walk separately escorted by brother/usher (whoever is doing escorting) and have them sitting in different rows maybe or at least further down in the same row. I would have step mom escorted second to last and mom escorted last.

    Report Reply
  • Options
    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_mom-vs-step-mom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:c91c60c2-3fcb-410c-aefd-41da5e4b6a1aPost:b1f637f2-880f-47c4-9bf0-7796676a3592">Re: Mom vs. Step-Mom</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Stepmoms are usually seated just prior to the MOG.</strong>  They are still part of the processional and recognized as such.  Is there a problem with going that route?  As a MOB and a stepmom, I would be seriously peeved.
    Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

    Ditto!
    Ashley - forcing your mom to share that honor with a woman that she loathes will probably make both your mom and stepmother feel uncomfortable.
                       
    Report Reply
  • Options
    kmmssgkmmssg mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_mom-vs-step-mom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:c91c60c2-3fcb-410c-aefd-41da5e4b6a1aPost:49fcebbe-a1c1-4aab-a212-88cf6b5f3989">Re: Mom vs. Step-Mom</a>:
    [QUOTE]It seems like they are both special women in your life and they both deserve to be recognized. Unfortunately, the situation with your mom/step mom and what happened makes it tricky. I would have them walk separately escorted by brother/usher (whoever is doing escorting) and have them sitting in different rows maybe or at least further down in the same row. I would have step mom escorted second to last and mom escorted last.
    Posted by MelissaC315[/QUOTE]

    I do think this might be a slap to the MOG.  MOG should be seated directly prior to MOB as this is the only recognition she is afforded.  SMOB should be seated prior to MOG.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ashleymerrill2007ashleymerrill2007 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    I guess I should have specified that my mother and I do not have a good relationship.  It's been up in the air whether or not she would even be invited.  My step mom is more of a mom to me.  I just wanted her to make sure she knows that.  I agree, though, I probably won't have them seated together, if for no other reason it'll make my step-mom uncomfortable.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards