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May 2013 Weddings
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Engaged and Underage

Alexis&JayAlexis&Jay member
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in May 2013 Weddings
I'm 17 and will be a month away from 19 when I get married; my fiance is 19 and will be 21. When we first got engaged it really hurt my feelings that so many people asked if I was pregnant and that no one told me congratulations. We know that having our own house and a marriage will be very trying on our finances, but this is what we want. We aren't planning on having children soon, we have a puppy to raise (a much more responsible choice). Does anyone have advise?Please don't be mean, I'm tired of hearing mean comments.
In my wildest dreams, you always play the hero. In my darkest hour of night, you rescue me, you save my life wedding planning guide
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Re: Engaged and Underage

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    Alexis&JayAlexis&Jay member
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    It isn't uncommon where I live to get married quickly as well. I live in West Virginia(please no banjo comments, that's Kentucky haha just kidding) and even though the young weddings are frequent they tend to be shot gun or after the child is born and that makes it more acceptable for some reason to the community. I'm not sure why this is. You'd think that in a state located on the bible belt you'd want people married before they have children. Oh well, I am learning to better cope with all the negative comments that people make. I have come to terms with the fact that if a person does not support my choice then I shall simply not invite them to my weding. I don't need any negativity marring my special day and my future with my FI.

    I admire your choice to move away on your own for a while. I would not be as brave. I have always been a sort of dependent person, but then forced to take care of everyone else. Now I have found a balance. My FI and I take care of each other and life runs much more smoothly.

    Thank you, and I wish you luck as well.
    In my wildest dreams, you always play the hero. In my darkest hour of night, you rescue me, you save my life wedding planning guide
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    Bett2012Bett2012 member
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    FI and I have been dating since we were 16/17. Got engaged when we were 20/21, and will be married when we are 21/22.  Waiting is hard - we've been talking seriously about marriage (ie: when will we get married, not should we) since we were 18/19.

    Waiting has been good for us, but it also had to do with our program in university.

    Having said that, I don't think that you need to be completely "financially stable" (when I hear that, I think a solid income and no debt except house and maybe car) to get married. why does it matter if you're "financially stable" as two single people or as a married couple? I do think it should affect the decision to have children (I wouldn't have a child unless I was "financially stable").  I think I might be a minority on that though.  I also believe in waiting for sex until marriage, which is another reason for not prolonging our engagement/dating even longer, which I am sure I'm a minority in since everyone's surprised when I say "we don't live together".. anyways, side trip.

    Good luck deciding when to get married :)
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    SwazzleSwazzle member
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    Financial stability is important because weddings cost money.  Unless someone has specifically offered to pay for your entire wedding, you will need to come up with the money to pay for it. 

    It also costs money to live somewhere. You will need to pay rent/a mortgage, utilities, buy groceries, etc.  I assume you'll be moving in together once you're married if you haven't already and so someone will need to pay for those expenses. 
     
    Being financially stable means having a steady job where you receive a pay check & you are able to pay your bills each month. 



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    Alexis&JayAlexis&Jay member
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    I've already said that my FI and I live together now in an apartment. We do fine on a day to day basis when it comes to finances; we don't struggle to get by. We're saving for our wedding ourselves, because we both work, and our parents are contributing some.
    My main purpose in posting this was to try and get support for the negative comments, not really discuss our financial situation.which is fine.
    In my wildest dreams, you always play the hero. In my darkest hour of night, you rescue me, you save my life wedding planning guide
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    SwazzleSwazzle member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I was responding to the post before mine.  

    Also, this is a public message board & people will respond how they see fit.  

    I really have nothing else to say to you since all you're looking for is validation & I don't think most people agree with what you're doing. You're not even an adult yet & that's obvious.  Grow up.



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