Isolated Destination Wedding- cost for guests?

eureka30030 · December 2011

So my & my fiance have been waiting a few years to 'do the deed' as both sides of our entire family lives across the country & we live more than 4 hours away from any large airport (we are in Eureka, CA & family is in GA & NC). I have been looking for a rustic deal-priced venue that will allow everyone to stay together on the same property- something on a river or creek for swimming, trails, and outdoorsy stuff. Basically were trying to make a weekend getaway out of it since the family will be spending their vacation savings to make the trip.

I have found a venue I really like (the Trinity Alps Resort - basically a large group cabin campground- don't have to worry about other guests as we would have to rent it all) but I have a few questions for you ladies.

Would it be unreasonable to ask guests to pay $250 for the entire weekend (food & activities included-the resort asks for $250 per person for 2 nights all inclusive in addition to our $600 site fee) + probably around $6-700 for a flight? I ask this because there is literally nothing around the resort: no restaurants, hotels, nothing but camping. We would be providing all the meals, linens, and some special arrival gift bags, etc. maybe even transportation as the nearest airport is well over a 4 hours drive....

So is $900, give or take, a reasonable amount to ask guests to pay for the entire wedding weekend (including flights & all)??? Any input would be great- thanks!!!!

ElisabethJoanne · December 2011

In general, $900 to attend a wedding is unusually high, but not unreasonable in itself. I usually have to fly to friends' weddings, and then usually have to rent a car and/or hotel room. Total travel costs are usually $500, and these aren't destination weddings, they're just the weddings of friends who live in other states.

Destination weddings are no longer considered rude - and $900 for a weekend in Hawaii or the Caribbean, is about what I'd expect.

HOWEVER, there's usually some flexibility with destination weddings. Guests usually don't have to stay at the particular resort/hotel. Also, would guests pay the resort the $250 or you, because you've bought a package? Paying the hosts to attend a wedding is out of the question.

Further, consider that $900/person is $1,800/couple is $3,600/family of 4. Whew!

And Eureka is long-commute distance from the Bay Area. If I got an invitation to a wedding in Eureka, I'd plan to drive up day-of and spend the night in a motel of my own selection.

In short: For the average guest, your plan is very off-putting. But if this is anything like what your guest list has done before (like past family reunions, or past spring breaks with your friends), it might be OK, just because it's OK with the particular individuals, not because it's OK in theknot-in-general sense.

hschieferstein · December 2011

I agree that that is too much to require of your guests. If I was your aunt or cousin I would opt out of going to your wedding as I think a lot of people would do. $1,800 per couple is a lot of money. I think you should have the type of wedding that you can afford to pay for. To me the it comes across as you asking them to cover the cost for their meal at he wedding and their rehearsal dinner meal which are things that you should cover for your out of town guests. Yes, guests usually have to pay for their own lodging, but they typically have a couple options to fit their individual budgets.

I also think that a 4 hour drive after a 6 hour flight is a lot to ask of your guests for a weekend. Maybe consider looking closer to SFO to accommodate more people.

anglyn · December 2011

I don't know if it is unreasonable. I think it depends on your guests/their budgets.

You would have to be okay with people not going if they can't afford the price. I think you have to find a place you love and then try to make it as affordable as possible for your guests. Then give them tons of notice about the time and price. Then if they can come, great.

If they can't, make sure you get a video and tons of pictures. Maybe set up a webcam so they can watch from home.. something. Plus the more time you give them, they could search around for a flight or plan to save up miles...etc.

eureka30030 · December 2011

Thanks for the responses everyone! I guess I should have mentioned that it would be a small wedding with just close family & friends (in all reality my aunts & cousins would never make the trip no matter where the venue was unless it was back in GA). Also, the $250 does not cover either the reception dinner or rehersal, just the cabins, a weekend of food and drinks, and horseback riding, hiking, kayaking, etc... and of course it would not be paid to us, but to the ranch.

I guess my real problem is that I want to get married in the outdoors near my own home however we are so far away from anything it is nearly impossible. I could cave in and do it at the coast as thats where all the hotels and venues are but I really hate depending on coastal weather for such an important day (Shivering in the cold windy fog does not sound like an enjoyable time, & even if its not foggy the coast here is ALWAYS cold).

My fiance wants me to consider doing the deed back in GA but I really dont want that- to me GA is our past, I want to start the first step of our lives together on our newfound home turf not stuck back in the south. Not to mention the craziness of planning that from clear across the country....

Thanks for your input- I have some more brainstorming to do!!

ElisabethJoanne · December 2011

Then why not make the weekend optional? Send out invitations for a ceremony and reception, and include an accomodations insert for the cabin resort. Then guests can choose to pay just usual travel costs, or they can choose the mini-vacation.

Isolated Destination Wedding- cost for guests?

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