FI family is so RAGGEDY!

gnc0988 · February 2013

so now his cousin who is married to his best friend since childhood isnt coming to the wedding. claiming broke. but i know this isnt the real reason. the real reason is because she is best friends with his mother and sister and all they do is sit around dogging FI and how he chooses to raise his child. He has stopped dealing with them altogether. So now his cousin isnt going to come. The F'd up part is we planned the date specifically for this cousin to be sure she could come. Not only did she not RSVP, she didnt even call my FI, she put her husband up to breaking the news. and her husband didnt break the news til he was asked. I feel so bad for my FI, everyone he thought cared for his is doggin him. But he isnt realizing that his true friends always have his back. ex- a guy he works with and who is a casual friend, saw us in the mall the other day buying matching sets of cologne, he paid for them as our wedding gift. he didnt have to do that but he did because he is a good friend to FI. I dont think he realizes that the people who are closest to him arent always your best "friends"

nursing2u · February 2013

Very hard lesson... but hey now he knows..

and if they don't want to go... then oh well.. that is on them...

I hope he can get past this and it not get him down too much

gnc0988 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_fi-family-is-so-raggedy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:a05e13eb-0b5a-45ea-a9b3-6cbb7dadf1d5Post:239d4ef4-13b0-4551-bae6-8b07028d1a67">Re: FI family is so RAGGEDY!</a>:
[QUOTE]Very hard lesson... but hey now he knows.. and if they don't want to go... then oh well.. that is on them... I hope he can get past this and it not get him down too much
Posted by nursing2u[/QUOTE]

It is taking everything in me not to just call and get real urban on these people and tell them alllll about themselves. how dare you dog this man when he has been by your side when you needed him the most? and to do him over some GOSSIP? Not because he stole from you, or lied to you, or hurt you.....but because you are so miserable in your own life all you can do is sit around and dog him because you are clearly jealous and insecure because he has surpassed you on so many levels. how about you take a look in the mirror at YOUR life, what YOU do, and try to get on his level before you dog him out. He is a good person and he doesnt deserve the sh!t you have put him thru or the way you have treated him. For you to tell his son he is a bad father because you dont agree with his parenting style? who the F do you think you are? How would you like if I told you that your child is awful?? you wouldnt like it...but i wouldnt do it, because its not my business or my problem. unlike some, i know how to worry about ME and MINES and not point the finger at everyone else to take the focus off my sh!tty life! i am so angry! Im more angry because he feels the way he feels even tho he wont say it than by them being raggedy human beings. i EXPECT people to be raggedy....but i expect them to be raggedy towards people that they have a valid reason to be raggedy towards.

For you to alienate his best friend from him because you are mad because of the gossip other people have told you? for you to be 35 and jump on that bandwagon? are you kidding me???? GROW UP!

I know they were never happy for him when he finally met someone he wanted to marry and when he met someone who has taught him to stand up for himself and tell people enough is enough. THATS the true reason they treat him and talk about him so bad. theyve never encountered someone who will tell them how it is regardless if they are hurt by it or not. Truth hurts...and the truth is yall need to get a life and not worry so much about his life. He doesnt live his life for you, you dont live yours for him. By doing what you are doing to him, only shows how miserable you are. Thier dirty laundry is front row center, but never talked about. because who wants to admit their own faults in life? Its much easier to just talk about someone elses. that sounds like a miserable way to live. You would think people would focus on fixing themselves instead of consuming themselves with false images of someone they secretly envy. and god forbid you bring up the things wrong in their life!! You got a woman who has abandoned her children, a woman who has cheated on her husband multiple times and he has done the same to her, a man who allows himself and his son to be verbally and mentally abused on a regular basis by his spouse, a woman who's husband has other women over in their marital bed while she is out of town with family..... and you want to judge this man because he is has come to terms with the fact that his son is raised in a two family household and not going to fight the boys mother tooth and nail for custody just to keep up the image of a perfect spotless family? because god forbid people know that he had a child out of wedlock. because he is going to teach his son valuable life lessons and not allow him to get away with doing whatever he wants, because he is going to implement rules on his CHILD and remind him he is a CHILD? because he is a good father to his son, he is wrong for that? but dont bring those things up to them about their lives....because all of a sudden, YOU are the one who is wrong?

And they are Christians!! Go hide behind your cross then. Im not a religious person at all, but at this rate. Ill get into heaven before they ever will! and i havent checked into a church since childhood. If heaven is based on how you treat others while you are here on earth, these people wouldnt even get the opportunity to see the outside of the pearly gates, theyd be booted out the line and straight down to the pits. Going yo church and readng some scriture doesnt give you a free pass into the kingdom. being a decent human being gets you more brownie points than getting up early on sunday and going to church just so you can say youve done your part.

Im sorry for my rambling rant, im just so fed up and outdone with the way they have treated him and expect both him and i to stand here and take it. He can take it if he wants to...but these people will never have to worry about seeing me again. one by one they are all falling off, and good riddance. please dont let the door hit ya on the @ss on the way out!

aquari0216 · February 2013

Oooh I think you just let it all out!

gnc0988 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_fi-family-is-so-raggedy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:a05e13eb-0b5a-45ea-a9b3-6cbb7dadf1d5Post:de705fe0-5f3f-4511-ba4e-72bbd8f5920e">Re:FI family is so RAGGEDY!</a>:
[QUOTE]Oooh I think you just let it all out!
Posted by aquari0216[/QUOTE]

after i typed all that i felt much better lol

TL25 · February 2013

Relief! After letting all that out I know you feel better. I don't know anyone who got through this wedding planning process without drama. It is what it is. If they love you and FI enough they'll put all the foolery aside and will be there, if not oh well that's their lost.

FI family is so RAGGEDY!

Re: FI family is so RAGGEDY!

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