New York-Hudson Valley

XP "HELP!! Time between ceremony and cocktail hour?!

Hi everyone!!

Hope you have a great Thanksgiving...I REALLY need your help before my invitations go out with the wrong time on them!

Take a look at our wedding day schedule:
4:30-5:00.......Ceremony
5:00-6:30.......Pictures and down time for guests
6:30-8:00.......Cocktail Hour
8:00-12:00.....Reception

Ok, so we are getting married in a church right across the street from our reception, which is in a hotel.  We planned the start of the cocktail hour when we did because my FI is dead set on getting all the pics, etc. done between 5:00 and 6:30 so we can join for most of our cocktail hour and mingle there since we are not doing a receiving line.  I'm really stressed about the hour and a half the guests have before the cocktail hour.

On the up side, MOST of our guests are staying overnight and maybe can use that time to check-in to the room and freshen up.  There is also a bar/sitting area in the lobby they can hang out at.  I guess I just don't want the guests hanging around or "over-served" since our cocktail hour is LONG but with TONS of food.

SO, do you think the hour and a half down time is a problem, or a welcomed break to go back to the hotel rooms/freshen up, or just catch up with other guests?  My FI has very strong opinions about this...

Re: XP "HELP!! Time between ceremony and cocktail hour?!

  • wdubin122wdubin122 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think an hour and a half is way too long to make your guest wait for cocktail hour.  You said most guest will have a room but what are the ones who don't have one supposed to do?  I think cocktail hour should be shortly after the ceremony.  If you are worried about missing cocktail hour because of your pictures, do most of them before the ceremony.  That is what we are doing.
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with p/p,if i were a guest and you had an hr & a half gap i would probably just go home and stay there,i wouldnt hang around waiting.
  • edited December 2011
    How many of your guests are staying over? And / or how many live within 20 minutes from your reception? (That way those could go home and those that were checking in could use that time to do so.)

    Regardless of what you decide -

    You should have your invite and reception card include the following info:

    Hosts inviting
    invite you to the wedding
    of our children

    S
    and
    B
     
    getting married on
    date
    at half past four in the afternoon at

    Name of church
    address
    city state


    (On a separate reception card)

    Please join us for cocktails, dinner and dancing beginning at 6:30pm


    However you word it, make sure you put the accurate time.

    By saying Reception begins at 8:00 will scare some guests into thinking there is nothing before that, and putting reception begins at 6:30 people may show up too early for the (usually held beforehand cocktail hour). And by saying reception at 8, cocktails before, doesn't give anyone a clear ides of the time.

     (Also, because your cocktail is an hour and a half, you may want to put cocktails and hors' deourves  at 6:30, dinner at 8:00 or something to that effect.)

    Just so that everyone knows whats going on.

     But honestly, I realized as I was writing, your guests will probabbly only have an hour between the time your ceremony (and receiving line and leaving the church is done-done. And by the time your cocktail hour begins. So, don't worry about what theyll do. Just make sure they know when things are starting!)

    Good luck! and congrats!

  • altimat873altimat873 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are also having a looooong reception. . . we decided to do pix before the ceremony because it was important that we be at the cocktail hr, can you change ur ceremony time?
    Mine is as follows:
    3:30 - 5:00 Pic
    5:30 - 6:00 Ceremony
    6:00 - 7:30 Cocktail "hour"
    7:30 - 11:30 Reception
    11:30 - 12:30 Vieneese Hour
    The wedding is long enough and we didnt want anyone waiting for formalities. Is taking pix beforehand a definite no-go for you guys?
  • kristinanddankristinanddan member
    First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    That hour and a half is unnecessary, and you should do something to avoid it. Really, the point of the cocktail hour is for your guests to eat and mingle while you are taking pictures. We went to ours because we took all of our photos before the ceremony, but I think it's rude to make your guests wait that long so you can take pictures AND attend your cocktail hour.
    imageimageimage
  • limocatlimocat member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't necessarily think there is an issue with having a gap, although it is a little awkward if the reception is directly across the street from the reception. I think it's a real no-no to have a gap when your reception and ceremony are in the exact location. We had a gap, although it was longer than 1 1/2. Our reception and church were about 35 minutes from one another. Most of our guests were from out of town and staying at the hotel, so we encouraged people to check in during that time. We also provided people with a lot of information about what they could do in between. We sent them info on restaurants, museums, shopping and more to do in the area. People seemed to really appreciate that and did a lot of the stuff we suggested. We didn't hear anyone complain. Do expect though that you will have an increase in the number of people who don't come to the church and only come to the reception. 
  • altimat873altimat873 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    1 hr 30 min cocktail hours are actually more and more common Ive noticed. . .Mine is 1.5 hrs because there was a 30 min gap between ceremony and cocktail hr and I didnt want people to wander around so we added it on (for a cost of course).
  • edited December 2011
    I don't think it's a big deal. Give your guests the timeline information- they are adults and can decide what they want to do for themselves. You will probably have less guests attend the ceremony, and opt to attend the reception only. 
    218806_0122 - Copy2011-10-239513.10.15 Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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