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Pre-nups.

I'm having a really difficult time with this one. I own a small business so I think it may be a good idea, but my fiancé says it's a "must" no matter what.

My mother is appalled and thinks I should re-consider marriage. 

I don't think I have a problem with it, really. I just feel a bit uncomfortable but willing I guess..

Thoughts?

Re: Pre-nups.

  • I think you should do it. It's certainly not going to cause any harm.
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  • My biz partner did a pre-nup and I'm doing one with my FI; has nothing to do with we think our marriages are going to fail, but she and I spent the past ten years building the business from the ground up and if something were to happen to either of us, our respective halves of the business should go to the other, not my widow or kids, etc.  It's my responsibility as a husband to ensure my future wife and kids are taken care of, and my responsibility as a business partner to ensure my partner's interests in the business are protected so that's where the prenup comes in for me.

    If two people have significant assets, a prenup is easily warranted then too; i.e. maybe one makes a lot more, or owns a lot more property, or one doesn't make much now but has a big bundle of inheritance coming, etc.  Those are all things that should be protected in writing so everyone knows what is to become of it should the unexpected happen, and unexpected doesn't have to mean divorce.

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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    You should definitely do it.  I mean, I don't think my house is going to burn down, but I'm not going to skip insurance, you know?  

    It's really none of your mother's business.  If she thinks you shouldn't, don't talk to her about it.  This is between you and your FI, and protecting yourselves in a worst case scenario.  

    As a business owner, this is hugely important.  Do you know that getting divorced could destroy your business?  
  • redheadfsuredheadfsu member
    2500 Comments
    edited September 2010
    If you have a business, it is a really good idea to get one. It is a really really good idea if either party has anything that needs to be protected. Also a pre-nup helps couples understand the divorce law in their state.

    If you don't get one, please at least talk to a family law attorney so you understand the law in your state. Every couple should get a mini course in how divorces work in their state.

    ETA: Why does your mom even know about this? It is a bad idea to involve your mother/parents in your marriage.

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  • Pre nups are in the best interest of both parties. 

    Unfortunately, many people think of them as "gold digger clauses" or worse.

    Without a pre nup, should your husband die without a will, his parents could claim some of his assets.  At least in NYS, you are considered to be related to your spouse 33% but to bloold relatives the rest.  Think about it.

    I remember only too well, a knottie who was on the boards for a couple of years and her husband died tragicly in an accident.  His parents had more claim on his property than his wife.  That was very sad.

    I had a pre nup and my daughter had a pre nup.  It's simply protecting yourself and your assets.  In my (and daughter's) case, it was required by family trusts.
    I would have had one even without that.  It's just smart.
  • In Response to Re: Pre-nups.:
    You should definitely do it.  I mean, I don't think my house is going to burn down, but I'm not going to skip insurance, you know?   It's really none of your mother's business.  If she thinks you shouldn't, don't talk to her about it.  This is between you and your FI, and protecting yourselves in a worst case scenario.   As a business owner, this is hugely important.  Do you know that getting divorced could destroy your business?  
    Posted by MyNameIsNot
    THIS SECONDED.
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  • I would definitley do it.  My FI and I are doing one mainly because I am aware that I have a rather large inheritance coming to me.  As someone else mentioned, pre-nups don't cover just divorce.  They can lay things out in the event of an untimely death.  I think it's just a smart idea, especially if ne or both parties have something to protect.
  • Pre-nups are not as taboo as they once were. These days it is a precaution like getting a flu shot. It isn't saying your marriage WILL end because you signed one. I would def do it. We have actually talked about it ourselves.
  • Possibly stupid question: couldn't you just avoid claims after death by getting a will?
  • sistertogroom, I don't think that's a stupid question at all.  Or how about putting your significant other as your beneficiary on your 401k etc if you happen to die?
  • Get one.

    I want to do a post-nup.  I am thankful we had our wills drawn already.  We came into our marriage with our own children. 
  • if you and your fiance are both leaning towards it than go for it.  Better safe than sorry! My fiance and i are not getting one but we dont believe in divorce so it seems pointless for us.
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