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Children at wedding dilemma

nbrodienbrodie
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in Washington-Seattle
I addressed all our invitations the "right" way in order to avoid children attending (other than immediate family), with the adults' names written on the inside envelope.

We just received our first RSVP where the adults wrote in the number attending as: "2 adults + 2 kids."  My FI refuses to call his friend to very politely tell him that children aren't invited.  Fine.  I can't make him do anything and I'm not going to turn this into a fight.  However, my dilemma is now with a friend of mine.  She emailed me asking if kids were invited, which was nice of her.  She has one baby.  I told her no, but thank you for checking.  So, do I contact my friend and let her know that she can now bring her baby?  

Thanks!!
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Re: Children at wedding dilemma

  • emyinpinkemyinpink
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Honestly, I would sit down with your FI, and talk to him about the implications of not calling his friend. Alternatively, you could have your mom, sister, or maid of honor call (that way friend will be less likely to argue). If you didn't invite other children, and their parents see children at the wedding, they could be upset.

    In your friend's case, if she is breastfeeding, I would let her bring her baby regardless. We're having an adults only wedding, but two of FI's cousins have breastfeeding infants, and they are bringing their babies.
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  • zoiesmurfzoiesmurf member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Unless you want your wedding to end up huge, I would say no. Maybe receive a few more RSVPs and see how it goes, and then bring the person who RSVP'd kids again, but I don't think it's that big of a deal to call the friend and appologize for the confusion, but that your venue can only accomodate so many people, and childeren were not included in your guest list. :-/

    I can of addressed it with my friends already, by mentioning/half-heartedly whining about how much bigger my guestlist is than the number of people we can physically fit into our venue, so we were thinking we were not going to be able to let our friends bring their children...
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  • nbrodienbrodie
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm hoping that everyone else with kids understands the etiquette.  I do know of several parents who are using this as an evening away from the kids.  So, yes, I'm very aware of the implications of not saying something to them, but FI will not budge nor will he let someone else call.  Close family are bringing kids, so friends might just think that they're family.

    Good call on the breastfeeding issue.  I believe she still is . . .
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  • BrideCa2011BrideCa2011 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think you still have to address the issue because it will hurt feelings if kids are there.  If you can't seem to find away to address it, then I would arrange for a sitter in a hotel room or something- and offer that up, so people get that kids are not really invited to the reception, you must bring them, you are arranging child care.  
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  • luckytobehisforeverluckytobehisforever
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I say no kids. I wrote it on invite and website. Everyone was very understanding. For those who "had" to bring the kids - I hired a babysitter for the Reception. I want the parents all to myself. :)
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  • BrandyL10BrandyL10
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_washington-seattle_children-wedding-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:104Discussion:ef8849e8-acc3-4833-8730-8acfbe554f56Post:283cacd1-4388-4287-aff1-1897e9daa2fe">Re: Children at wedding dilemma</a>:
    [QUOTE]Honestly, I would sit down with your FI, and talk to him about the implications of not calling his friend. Alternatively, you could have your mom, sister, or maid of honor call (that way friend will be less likely to argue). If you didn't invite other children, and their parents see children at the wedding, they could be upset. In your friend's case, if she is breastfeeding, I would let her bring her baby regardless. We're having an adults only wedding, but two of FI's cousins have breastfeeding infants, and they are bringing their babies.
    Posted by emyinpink[/QUOTE]

    This. I agree try talking to your FI again and if that fails taking matters into your own hands with either calling yourself or having a BM or mom do it. That is one of the worst things a guest can do. How rude! I was lucky enough not to have anyone do that but some people are really dense. Good luck with this!
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