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6 priests, one tiny alter, one unhappy bride.

laureneslaurenes
First Comment First Anniversary
in Catholic Weddings
Hello! I'm new to the Catholic board. I'm getting in married in May (less than 100 days to go!) and we've run into an issue regarding some of our guests.

FI and I are getting married in our college town, which is just a little over an hour from his home town. We're getting married at our tiny campus church and have been going through marriage prep with our priest there. He knows us both, is a really nice guy, and we're looking forward to him officiating our ceremony.

FMIL and FFIL are very active in their parish in FI's hometown. They originally wanted to invite all the priests (5) from their church, but then scaled it back to 1, we'll call Father James, who is a good friend of theirs both in and outside of church. She wanted him up there officiating with our priest. I was very opposed to this, as I only wanted the priest who knew us both as a couple officiating our ceremony, but since Father James has been very helpful in securing a much needed internship for FI, I opted to get over myself and let it slide (not to mention that Father James is technically our priest's boss, and he has his mind set on being up there, so even though I think it's rude that a stranger has decided to be part of my wedding without talking w/ me there's not much I can do about the matter).

Now, however, FMIL has insisted on inviting all 5 of their parish priests, as she would feel rude excluding any of them. I have absolutely no problem with them attending as guests, but she's insisting that it is proper etiquette that all 6 priests (ours and her 5) be officiating at the alter. I think this is ridiculous. First of all, our church is entirely too tiny to fit 6 priests up there. Secondly, I really don't want this mass dragging on forever, Thirdly, I don't want to have a circus of priests up at the alter while we're trying to say our vows. It would make me feel very comfortable to have six priests up there going over our vows, etc with us.

Does anyone know what the proper etiquette on this is? Is it ok just to say you're invited as a guest, not as a celebrant? We're ready to call up FMIL and explain that she had rights to a guest list, not a celebrant list, but if anyone else has experience with inviting priests to a wedding I'd love to hear it!
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Re: 6 priests, one tiny alter, one unhappy bride.

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    SaraAndrew2010SaraAndrew2010 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've heard of having 2 or 3 priests at the altar for a wedding, but 6 seems overkill.  It's pefectly acceptable to invite a priest as a guest and not ask him to officicate.
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    agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Actually, this isn't about etiquette, this is about the Rubrics. If priests are present, they are supposed to concelebrate. It's not a circus, but actually an honor to have 6 priests offering a mass for your marriage. The infinite graces of one mass is amazing, let alone 6. It is definitely NOT ok to say they are invited, but can't concelebrate.It's not a matter of a priest being rude for not talking to you, lay people simply don't have a say in the matter...its a church rubric.

    They will not be standing there when you are doing your vows, only the one priest that is marrying you will be the official witness, the others will be seated wherever they would sit for the readings.

    Having additional priests does not make a mass any longer with the exception of a few seconds here or there for movement.

    A friend of mine was in the seminary and left, then got married. He had about 9 priests, 2 deacons, and several seminarians present to serve. It was amazing.
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    SaraAndrew2010SaraAndrew2010 member
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    edited December 2011
    Ah, I stand corrected.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic My wedding bio: http://saraandrewbio.weebly.com/
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    Riss91Riss91 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I would speak to your priest about this. He will know what the best placement is and be able to explain what their roles would be. It can be simply that they are seated up on the altar, rather than in the pews. If there isn't enough room up on the altar, your priest can determine where they should sit. Once your priest has advised you, you will have better information to share with your MIL.

    I was married in a small chapel as well, and I'm not sure we could have fit 6 priests up there. We barely fit ourselves, our MOH/BM, our priest, the master of ceremonies and the 2 altar boys. I would think at some point, you run out of room. I mean, if you knew 50 priests and invited them all, I doubt they would all be on the altar playing an active role, right? haha...now I'm picturing a mob of priests with a bride and groom shoved in the middle.

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    ootmother2ootmother2 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    There were two priest friends of FOB & MOG invited to the wedding and they sat on the alter...to one side.

    The bride's uncle, a deacon of the church performed the actual marriage ceremony and the pastor did the Mass.  That made 4 on the alter and that was enough, I'm sure ;)

    The invited priests sat with other friends at the reception.  The pastor declined the invitation to the reception due to his schedule.
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    mica178mica178 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We had the parish pastor and H's uncle (a bishop) do our wedding.  They both had seats at the altar, and pastor did the Gospel reading and the homily, while Uncle did the vows.  I have been to other ceremonies with 4-5 priests up at the front, and they all manage to do their own parts just fine.  Hopefully if they parish is large enough to support having so many priests, the altar is large enough to accommodate everyone.
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    laureneslaurenes
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Thanks to everyone. Thanks  esp to agapecarrie, as I figured there were church rules on this that I needed to be aware of before any chats w/ FMIL.

    Still don't know how we're going to fit 6 priests on a tiny alter...
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    agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_6-priests-one-tiny-alter-one-unhappy-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:6ff2fcaf-a01c-4a47-aaff-f9494bd12c37Post:12779bcb-d559-463e-a0f5-d1bbd6de73f1">Re: 6 priests, one tiny alter, one unhappy bride.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks to everyone. Thanks  esp to agapecarrie, as I figured there were church rules on this that I needed to be aware of before any chats w/ FMIL. Still don't know how we're going to fit 6 priests on a tiny alter...
    Posted by laurenes[/QUOTE]

    Just as the rules aren't lay people's problem, either are the logistics of following them. (I mean that in a humorous way).  If all priests show up, they will figure something out such as being in a front row or something. If you have ever seen a papal mass, all of the priests do not go up around the altar because they don't fit.
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    newlyseliskinewlyseliski member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If anything, it will make for a very cozy rehearsal :)
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