Catering v. Making Food Ourselves

aimes8609 · August 2012

This is my first post on here and I'm hoping that this topic hasn't been brought up before! If it has, sorry!

What are your thoughts of having outside catering versus making the food yourself (or families doing it)?

I've always known I wanted to have a caterer do the wedding because I didn't want any of our family members having to worry about food while doing everything else during the day of the wedding. I made that very clear from the beginning to my Fiance and I didn't want to budge on it. Fast forward a week or so later when we're at his mother's house discussing wedding stuff and he brings this up. Of course, they think it's a great idea (mainly because none of us have $3,000-4,000 just laying around to pay for it, which I understand) and I just felt ganged up on because of this. I just ended up giving up on the idea of catering and told him that if him and his family want to make the food, fine but they'll be paying for it and if it turns out horrible, they'll get the blame. Am I being unreasonable? I really do understand the cost issue but I don't want to add on extra pressure leading up to the wedding and I have a feeling this is going to be extra stress on us.

Meegles4 · August 2012

How many people are you planning to host? I likely wouldn't make food for anything over like 10 or 20 people. I just don't have the kitchen space or knowledge of cooking for a large group that caterers do. Also, caterers know how to keep food at appropriate temperatures and all that good stuff, which I don't know or would have to buy stuff (i.e. sternos, coolers, etc.) to make that happen.

I think if you're having a small, casual affair, it could work based on your interest and excitement about cooking. Otherwise, I call in the experts.

hoffse · August 2012

Three points:

1) If it's at a venue open to the public (ie: most places other than your house) you need it catered because every state requires you to have a license to feed people in this circumstance.

2) Even if it's at your house you don't want people to get food poisoning.

3) It's a ton of work

Get it catered.

SunriseAmber · August 2012

I agree with PP. If you and your FI want to have it catered then you should. It's your wedding.

[Deleted User] · August 2012

My mom did all the catering for our engagement party and that was about 100 people. It was a huge job considering she only has one stove/oven and two refrigerators. I wouldnt want family messing with food during my wedding. If they are fussing over food, they are not enjoying the day with you and the rest of the family.

TaraMc728 · August 2012

It is well worth having a caterer. Having family take care of the food on the wedding day will be too much hassel. The caterer will set up and clean up.

MyUserName1 · August 2012

Too much hassle for an already busy, stressful day. "Oh, FMIL, that's so thoughtful, but it's so important to me that you're able to relax and enjoy the day as a guest! I want you to be able to experience the day without having to spend the whole time in the kitchen!"

Maggie0829 · August 2012

I would never cater my own wedding and my reasons wouldn't be because it is time consuming or stressful, it would be because I would be afraid that I would make my guests sick. Proper caterers know how to handle food correctly (keep it at the right temperature, don't mix utensils when dealing with raw meat, transporting it safely, keeping things clean, etc) so as not to make people sick. And then if something does happen it will be on the caterers not on your family.

Stackeye210 · August 2012

How many people are you having? Catering a meal can be done a budget. I don't think you should count out the idea until you get some quotes from local caterers. We had a 100 person wedding with a very good meal and only paid about $1600. It can be done but it might take a little bit extra legwork to find the good deals coupled with good quality.

QueerFemme · August 2012

Often, you can have it catered for less than you could do it yourself. The caterer already has serving trays, warmers, etc. etc. etc. If you do it yourself, you have to invest in those things.

Look at bbq places, they can often cater for $10-12 per person.

OliveOilsMom · August 2012

So you and FI were in agreement about the caterer and as soon as his family objected, he also jumped on the bandwagon? That's not right. He should be standing up to his family for things that the two of you agree on. Even if they are swaying his mind, he should say that you will discuss it and let them know. I think you should have another discussion with your FI about the catering. Decide together what the answer is and go as a united front to his parents.

HeidiWard04 · August 2012

I am a bargain queen and doing a decent chunk of our wedding DIY.

However, we both agreed early on that catering was a non-negotiable. I did not want to have to worry about cooking for and feeding 100+ people with limited space, resources etc. Also, what others have said about food poisoning is a legit concern.

We were able to hire a caterer for $2500 and it's worth EVERY penny. If there's one thing you don't want to worry about on your wedding day, it's food.

lyndausvi · August 2012

A few months ago dh and his workers were all talking about this very subject. Everyone of them said "Hell no to self-catereing".

Mind you they are all professional chefs. They do banquets all the time. Some of them up to 1500 people. They know what it takes to pull off something like that and they all said it's not how they wanted to spend their wedding day.

divinemsbee · August 2012

We're self-catering. It was not my idea originally. My aunts (I have 4) do most of our family's weddings and they got kind of insulted when I started talking to caterers. Exact wording "There's no reason to do that, unless you just want to spend the extra money." They have all of the equipment so I'm not too worried. I tried the "I don't want you to worry/work" card. No go. So, we're doing it and have finalized the menu. We are hiring a couple of people to bartend and take care of minimal trash stuff. I am having nothing to do with the cooking/serving. They're fine with this. They're putting together lists and I'm paying them back for what needs to be done or buying what they need the week before. Does your FI's family do this kind of thing often (my aunts take care of a lot of cooking at their church as well) or have they just decided to try out this idea now? That's an important distinction to me.

I think it's more do-able for afternoon cocktail type receptions or buffets than for a plated more formal dinner (that sounds like a nightmare). We don't have to have any sort of license to do it, either. I've been to weddings they've done, and they turn out marvelous, so I'm actually pretty excited about the food. I'm nervous, but I think it's going to be okay.

I think you really need to talk to your FI about having your back. It's pretty crappy that you guys decided on one thing and he just turned on you once they were around.

smartlypretty · August 2012

I wouldn't try to self-cater for more than 50 people. That's my own comfortable limit, and I frankly wouldn't have the oven/fridge space for more.

Legu · August 2012

I work in the restaurant industry. The most I've catered for in one go is 70 people. At the restaurant. With all the ovens, fridges, hotholding equipment etc. And I have a better than most understanding of food hygiene and health and safety laws. I wouldn't dream of trying to selfcater for more than about 20 people, due to all the things PPs have said... Space, lack of equipment, etc. I definitely think you need to go back to the drawing board with this one.

jcrmc · August 2012

I was worried about paying for catering, but as soon as we told our family and friends, they all JUMPED on the chance to help out!

FI's GM is a 4* chef, and will be doing all the meat/bbq stuff. One of my besties is a pro-baker, specialising in wedding cakes, so she is doing that (as my gift...she told me this years ago, before I met my FI!! lol). She is also in the catering biz, and can whip out platters like nobody's business, so she and I are doing that. I'll be doing the salads because I LOVE doing fancy but simple salads, and everyone LOVES my pasta salad. So we're buying food, and having help with the making.

BOTH of them offered whole-heartedly, and even said they would be offended if we hadn't asked (if they hadn't offered they meant). FI's dad is a pro=photog and he said the same thing.

Of course, we are having only about 60ppl, so yeah...

BUT.

It's your wedding. Your day. If you do NOT want family catering, then make it known - put it delicately but firmly that you want everyone to enjoy the day and not be worried about anything but having a good time. Maybe even go as far as checking out some options beforehand to discuss?

Also check out the venue - they might require you to have licensed caterers, or might even charge a fee for outside food (where my mom was thinking of getting re-married at has an in-house caterer, and if you go with someone else you have to pay a fee)

aimes8609 · September 2012

I think I should clarify that we didn't 100% agree on getting catering. That was just something I didn't want to budge on. His family has done it before so I'm letting them take the reigns on it along with paying for it. He has a huge family and a lot of them willing to help out with the food so I agreed. To me, personally, none of it is worth arguing over. Thank you all for your input on both sides of the debate!

Catering v. Making Food Ourselves

Re: Catering v. Making Food Ourselves

Choose Another Board

Search Boards