Have you seen this?

brandichamberlain · June 2012

LINK

CN: An older man was shopping for books for his grandchildren at Barnes and Noble. Due to the fact that he was by himself and male, they made him leave the store because he was in the childrens section. They have since apologized, but the man has been contacted since the story came out and he feels like he has no privacy.

I think this is terrible. I don't see why an employee couldn't just go up to him and ask if he was looking for something in particular/if he needed help. I know that sometimes people give the answer "No, I'm just looking", but that is when you can consider taking the next step. This man would have likely explained what was happening, made a purchase, and none of this would have happened.

chelseamb11 · June 2012

I heard about this on the radio and I was disgusted that they did that without even asking him if he needed help or what he was looking for.

Blueyed228 · June 2012

Just another reason I dont shop at B&N

chelseamb11 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_have-you-seen-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:57c79157-fb88-45e4-a9c3-0659fec01753Post:e4767be8-234d-4530-9372-9001f5316f2a">Re: Have you seen this?</a>:
[QUOTE]Just another reason I dont shop at B&N
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

May I ask what the other reasons are?

Lizzieyounce · June 2012

What a damn shame, treating someone like that. Has it really gotten so bad that an old man in a childrens section of a bookstore is just naturally assumed to be a perv?

Girlie1030 · June 2012

It was all over the news here (understandably). While I don't disagree with the policy (yes Lizzie, it has come to that sadly) the employee could have handled it better. Like Brandi said, approach the man first, ask if he needs help finding something, blah blah blah...

brandichamberlain · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_have-you-seen-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:57c79157-fb88-45e4-a9c3-0659fec01753Post:74d790eb-5ba0-4728-885b-0e4ff3007fc6">Re: Have you seen this?</a>:
[QUOTE]It was all over the news here (understandably). <strong>While I don't disagree with the policy</strong> (yes Lizzie, it has come to that sadly) the employee could have handled it better. Like Brandi said, approach the man first, ask if he needs help finding something, blah blah blah...
Posted by Girlie1030[/QUOTE]

I can see this in a sense. Especially because I believe it said they had an incident at a library close to there. I just think there needs to be a more sensible way to go about it. I have gone to B & N and gotten stuff from the kid's section by myself before and I would be mortified if I was asked to leave because I was alone.

Blueyed228 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_have-you-seen-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:57c79157-fb88-45e4-a9c3-0659fec01753Post:c13a9ed4-0124-4a14-b885-bc05d12a505f">Re: Have you seen this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Have you seen this? : May I ask what the other reasons are?
Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]

I cant stand the hippy dippy vibe, the over priced books and the people that shop there.

Girlie1030 · June 2012

Hippy dippy? I think yuppy more than anything.

Lenore2010 · June 2012

I guess I don't see the policy, even. I see a lot of hysteria in the policy. Men are dads and grandfathers and uncles. They have a right to buy books for their small relatives. I assume that generally, if there ARE kids in the book section, they are accompanied by their parents or another adult? Very unlikely a random perv is going to grab them out of the book section.

I am not a mom, so maybe something is missing in my thinking here I will grant but the policy strikes me as craziness.

Lizzieyounce · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_have-you-seen-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:57c79157-fb88-45e4-a9c3-0659fec01753Post:ebf51057-dea8-4042-8948-acbe65b386e0">Re: Have you seen this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Have you seen this? : I cant stand the hippy dippy vibe, the over priced books and the people that shop there.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This is why I never go there. </div><div>
</div><div>I frequent this little local bookstore. It's comfy, the owner knows her customers and the prices are friendly on the wallet. There is even the resident cat, who sleeps in the window all day.
<div>
</div><div>

</div></div>

Lenore2010 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_have-you-seen-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:57c79157-fb88-45e4-a9c3-0659fec01753Post:ebf51057-dea8-4042-8948-acbe65b386e0">Re: Have you seen this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Have you seen this? : I cant stand the hippy dippy vibe, the over priced books and the people that shop there.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

Oh Blue, maybe you are just to young to know what a true "hippy dippy vibe" is - unless you mean the more youthful "New Age" thing, which is very related! You find that vibe at small independent bookstores, cooperative food markets, and also some small coffeeshops. B&N? I think the vibe is more snobbish/affluent. Of course, that could be a regional thing. We live in very different parts of the country.

brandichamberlain · June 2012

I guess I just never really pay attention to it that much. I don't have to go to bookstores very often since I get all of mine on Amazon but I don't know of any others around here.

Matty143 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_have-you-seen-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:57c79157-fb88-45e4-a9c3-0659fec01753Post:c94999f0-7ea1-4485-a831-bd8605b13a13">Re: Have you seen this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I don't see the policy, even. <strong>I see a lot of hysteria in the policy. Men are dads and grandfathers and uncles. They have a right to buy books for their small relatives.</strong> I assume that generally, if there ARE kids in the book section, they are accompanied by their parents or another adult? Very unlikely a random perv is going to grab them out of the book section. <strong>I am not a mom, so maybe something is missing in my thinking here I will grant but the policy strikes me as craziness.</strong>
Posted by Lenore2010[/QUOTE]

Ditto this.

Girlie1030 · June 2012

Lenore, I'm not a parent either but I'd side eye an old guy alone in the kids section. And I can't tell you how often I see parents drop their kids off in the kids section and head off to look for their own stuff. Our B&N isn't that huge so I guess they feel it's ok.

peekaboo2011 · June 2012

I think this is ridiculous. My grandfather is 70 and as a kid, he always got me books. He still buys my younger cousins books. If he's still around when I end up having kids, he'll buy them books. I think it's ridiculous that he could potentially be asked to leave because he's purchasing books for his grandkids. He's the sweetest old man ever.

What's next, I can't go into the kids section and browse because I might be after little boys?

Wiscisbliss · June 2012

I think that this is just sad.

I think the policy is stupid. If there was a problem with a guy bothering girls at libraries, then they should have gotten a description of the man and if a lone man in the children's section of the book store matched and was acting sketchy then they should call the police.

The whole thing has the capacity to get completely out of hand. Maybe DH should not be able to shop for diapers at Target because he might be creepin' on toddlers. And he definitely should not be able to shop at VS for pajamas or lotion for me because obviously that is totally skeevy.

Lenore2010 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_have-you-seen-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:57c79157-fb88-45e4-a9c3-0659fec01753Post:e5ca94fb-f428-410d-b6fe-3373ed02f975">Re: Have you seen this?</a>:
[QUOTE]Lenore, I'm not a parent either but I'd side eye an old guy alone in the kids section. And <strong>I can't tell you how often I see parents drop their kids off in the kids section and head off to look for their own stuff.</strong> Our B&N isn't that huge so I guess they feel it's ok.
Posted by Girlie1030[/QUOTE]

That strikes me as hella-stupid. I did not do that with my neices and nephews ever when they were young kids, and that was in the 80's. By that I mean I did not do that ANY where.

Bkseller13 · June 2012

The B&N where I worked had a horrid design flaw. One of the emergency exits was in the Children's Department. I can't tell you how many times I literally dropped the books I was shelving to sprint to the alarm going off in fears that it was a guy dragging a kid out of the store. It did happen, once, before I got there, a custody battle or something. But, it freaked me out every time. Luckily, every time I had it happen to me, it was an unattended child pushing on the bar.

I ABSOLUTELY think they should have asked the man if he needed help, or if they were really that concerned, have an employee straighten shelves nearby. We did that if we suspected shoplifters. Amazing how good customer service can deter people like that.

Blue- you don't hate my hippy dippy self, do ya?

SarahPLiz · June 2012

THis is friggin ridiculous. Way to not have any customers, B&N. Stupid policy for sure. Unless the man bothering someone, why bother him?

brandichamberlain · June 2012

BK- I forgot you worked in a book store. So is this isn't an actual policy that is in place there?

SarahPLiz · June 2012

Also, if you leave your kid alone in a store and they get molested, its partially your fault for not supervising them. B&N is there to supply and sell books, not to babysit your kids.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · June 2012

Um I think judging someone by what section they're in at the bookstore is horseshit. If I was looking through romance novels would you surmise that I'm a slut?

Blueyed228 · June 2012

I think we live in a sad world where people think this kind of stuff is ok. This guy had every right to be there and its shameful to use the "why was he is the kid section".

If this is ok, then what if it was a black guy and he was asked to leave because they thought he might steal something.

Its disgusting. We live in a free country and just because some oversensitive employee let their mind wander doesnt make it right. He should sue the shiiiiit out of them.

Matty143 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_have-you-seen-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:57c79157-fb88-45e4-a9c3-0659fec01753Post:9f491bcb-da3b-4108-8323-b2d731e6b601">Re: Have you seen this?</a>:
[QUOTE]Um I think judging someone by what section they're in at the bookstore is horseshit. If I was looking through romance novels would you surmise that I'm a slut?
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

I was so worried I was going to get a judgmental look from the cashier when I bought 50 Shades.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_have-you-seen-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:57c79157-fb88-45e4-a9c3-0659fec01753Post:92f55ec1-3c10-4791-9801-9cfbad52065f">Re: Have you seen this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Have you seen this? : I was so worried I was going to get a judgmental look from the cashier when I bought 50 Shades.
Posted by Matty143[/QUOTE]

Why? That is stupid.

Megbo2012 · June 2012

I don't think I would have ever thought grampa looking at Eric Carle = pedo. That seems so weird to me.

SarahPLiz · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_have-you-seen-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:57c79157-fb88-45e4-a9c3-0659fec01753Post:d5ce0028-c05e-4625-bce2-50eaf8fa48d0">Re: Have you seen this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Have you seen this? : There you go again, being all logical and stuff.<strong> Also, YGPM.</strong>
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]
SQUEEE!!! I need to get on yours. Like ASAP.

Wiscisbliss · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_have-you-seen-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:57c79157-fb88-45e4-a9c3-0659fec01753Post:13bbec43-628c-4d9a-8895-3483d27e035e">Re: Have you seen this?</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, if you leave your kid alone in a store and they get molested, its partially your fault for not supervising them. B&N is there to supply and sell books, not to babysit your kids.
Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]

<div>B&N =/= Daycare? Looks like I need a new plan. </div>

Matty143 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_have-you-seen-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:57c79157-fb88-45e4-a9c3-0659fec01753Post:84262672-7b99-49c5-b6eb-cf93417fa503">Re: Have you seen this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Have you seen this? : Why? That is stupid.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

I know, it was stupid of me to worry about that. I guess because I also feel like its super suburban housewife there (especially where my office is).
I just went and bought the 2nd one yesterday; and I proudly dropped it on the counter :)

Bkseller13 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_have-you-seen-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:57c79157-fb88-45e4-a9c3-0659fec01753Post:4491e1ea-810a-4740-a6ca-1954ff9b5d20">Re: Have you seen this?</a>:
[QUOTE] <strong>He should sue the shiiiiit out of them.
</strong>Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE

I think sueing is a little over-reacting. I think that the guy in the article is the winner in this in the way he's handling himself. Good on him, he's a good example of classiness. Did B&N fuuck up? Hell yeah! Sueworthy? Nope.

And Brandi, no way was there any policy like that in place when I worked for B&N. Crap, I just realized that I've been gone for 6 years...I was with B&N for 17 years.

And jcb, yes, the Tattered Cover is hippy dippy! Big time hippy dippy.

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