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Type of wedding--second for bpoth

msdonnasmsdonnas member
First Comment
in Second Weddings
I am at a loss. My first wedding was huge and formal and perfect, minus the husband. My fiance's first wedding was when he was on military leave and was in a court house. He wore his military uniform and she wore a plain dress--they were 18. I don't want another large wedding but I still want a dress and photos and a nice, personalized ceremony. More than anything, I don't want him to think about his original wedding when we are getting married. I know that sounds catty and insecure, but it is true. How can I minimize my wedding but still keep it more than a city hall wedding?
Other information:
We live in Colorado and are not interersted in Vegas weddings, but other destinations may be okay if they are not too expensive. We are thinking less than 50 people, maybe less than 25 in attandence. We are still talking about a large reception later. I want it to be inexpensive and midweek options are do-able. Ideas? Anyone else done something like this? I really appreciate any comments :)
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Re: Type of wedding--second for bpoth

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    msdonnasmsdonnas member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sorry about the typo on both :)
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    Marrin713Marrin713 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Well, we are doing a civil ceremony on a Friday afternoon with immed family present - our county only does them on Fridays.  Afterward, we are coming back to our house for a BBQ; then T and I off for our wedding night.  On the Sunday we are having a small cocktail party reception/celebration at a local golf club.

    Other option for you would be a nice dinner after the ceremony.  You could have a JOP come to you somewhere pretty - like a park or some other outdoor venue.
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    handfast4mehandfast4me member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    As you're in Colorado, you'd have to travel, but there are other places to travel rather than Vegas.  We went to Key West, just the two of us.  The B & B we stayed at arranged our officiant, and helped us with times, places, etc.   It was intimate, romantic, and for the most part, fuss-free.  The beach we used was free, you only need a notary to perform the ceremony, and no witnesses.  Our officiant also doubled as our photographer, so it was inexpensive, but MUCH more meaningful to me than my medium-sized first wedding with all that was expected at the time.  I had a cow trying to find the right dress, but other than that, it was great.  We were able to write our own ceremony, and say things to one another that we would not have said had we done a ceremony in front of others.  There's no waiting period in Florida if you're from out of state.  Let me know if you need other details. 

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    thealphabridethealphabride
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Cpngrats and welcome to the board!!!

    You can do what ever you desire for the second wedding. We don't like rules around here. Do what makes your heart sing. You deserve it.

    Remember, this is his first marriage to YOU. Your wedding will be totally different than his first time, so try not to hang on to that. We second timers have come to tearms with the fact that they have done it all before with somone else.
    And for many of us we have done it too.
    That was then. This is now. Totally different time, place and circumstances and your first time to marry each other. True love. Not rushed. Well thought out.

    There are many places to travel for a destination wedding. Have you considered the Carribean? Most of the hotels do on site weddings as part of a vacation package.

    Good luck and let us know what you decide!


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    thealphabridethealphabride
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Correction:CONGRATS!

    And you can still have photos, cake, beautiful invitations, dinner reception, you can wear white, wear a veil, and even have a bridal shower (someone would host you wouldn't have it) My point is that if you want these things you can have them..
    We can help you through the etiquette questions.

    Good Luck..
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    JennaHRJennaHR member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree the pp, this is the first wedding for the two of you, and however you want to celebrate your love is up to you. And I wouldn't worry about him thinking of his first wedding while he's at yours. Obviously you are his desire, and she is a part of his past. I'm sure that on your wedding day you'll both be happily looking forward.
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    2dBride2dBride member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    At our wedding (my second, my wife's first), we had a total of eleven guests at a Tuesday noon ceremony in Massachusetts. (We live near DC.) We both wore long ivory dresses, veils, and opera gloves, and carried arm bouquets.  We wrote our own ceremony.  After the ceremony, we  took all the guests to lunch in the private dining room of a nearby Legal Sea Foods.  Three days later, we had a reception back in our home town, with live music, dancing, food, open bar, and a DIY "photobooth."

    I didn't really work at making my second wedding different from my first.  But the first one reflected the tastes of my then husband and a 23-year-old me.  The second one reflected the tastes of my wife and a 56-year-old me.  Thus, they ended up being quite different, without my having to make any particular effort.

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    nhelenenhelene
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    First of all you can edit posts here.  So don't apologize for typos, just fix them and no one will ever know.

    Two of my friends were married here:  http://www.cooperslandinginn.net/
    It was a very small ceremony, only 25 people were in attendance, the minister, cake, flowers, hors d'eovres, champagne and honeymoon suite were included in the price which was under $2,000.

    Now I'm sure Clarksville VA isn't quite the 'destination' that you wanted, but I'm sure there are similar places across the country, it's just a matter of finding them.

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    JenJune3JenJune3
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    This is wedding #2 for both FI and I, we are gettting married on the beach in St Thomas with 9 people total in attendance. We are coming back and having a reception 3 weeks later that will have around 100-125 people there.

    Oh and cost.... we spent about $2400 on flights and hotel for St Thomas for 6 nights and the wedding cereomy cost us $600, the reception when we come back is going to be around $1400, and I am wearing a dress, it's a simple dress but very beautiful and FI is wearing linen pants and a white linen shirt.

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    pamila51510pamila51510
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    YEs of course you can! Find a happy medium and hey I am a Vegas bride but I am also from vegas. Just letting you know the options here can be pretty cool check out my venue you would never guess it was in vegas. The grove is a beautiful almond orchard or you can check out MT Charleston. Another location that you would never guess is just outside of vegas. Just letting you know that there are non vegasy options here and it can save you a ton. Look at my bio... I


    But you live in a beautiful state and I am sure they have venues there that are totally do able as well!!!!  
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    SweetAmy33SweetAmy33 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Every wedding I have ever been to or in has been different...your will be too!

    Both my FI and I had huge first weddings and we wanted something small but very meaningful. We made it itimate and less expensive by actually discussing what was most important to us and We just asked all our friends and family to help to keep the costs down and make everything simple as can be. We are getting married in his parents backyard. They own 10 acres most of which use to be an apple orchard. It is really quiet and beautiful. We rented a tent, china, etc. We are just going to stand under some big trees and say our I dos with a methodist minister, and then have a reception of 50 or so in the tent. We are asking people to bring food instead of gifts, since we live together and dont really need anything. Also we are having my uncle do the photos, his best friend DJ, and just 1 maid of honor and one best man. My dress is really simple and actually looks like 40s glamor and Im not wearing a veil.

    I think it will be a beautiful but really simple wedding for us and if you dont want something huge or something justice of the peace road, this idea might be just what you were looking for. I hope it helped! CONGRATS!!!!!!!!
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    LesPaulLesPaul member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Congratulations!
    We were married at the Cheyenne Canon Inn in Colorado Springs.  It's a beautiful old B&B, and we had both the ceremony and reception there with 85 guests.  We rented the whole house for the night, and all our OOT family stayed there with us.  It was beautiful - simple, but nice, and suited us and our guests well.  I wore a long, champagne colored satin dress (off the rack) and our four teenagers were our WP.  Do what suits you and your FI as far as venue, attire, and ceremony/reception ideas.  And don't worry - I was concerned at first that DH would be comparing to his first wedding, but I honestly don't believe he thought of it at all that day.  I know I didn't . . .  
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    amyadoreamyadore
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am kind of in the same situation.

    We are going to keep it small and intimate. We are going to focus on the ceremony, photos and the food. Pick the things you want to remember from your special day and spend and focus on those things.


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    Monkita13Monkita13
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    This is both our second.  Mine was bigger than his first. 

    Either way, I understand you about not thinking about the first one... I know what you mean.  Just try to make it special and try to find out all you can about this first wedding, so that you know you have to do everything different.

    I'm having a great time planning our wedding.  We both have kids and they 18 and19 and I'm acting like a bride to be without being ridiculuous, you know what I mean?  We're getting married in the beautiful Florida Keys, we are from Miami.  Make this time special!
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    j&s02j&s02
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well I am not sure that this will help but here goes. My first wedding was very similair to yours, it was a medium to large wedding semi-formal, his on the other had was at the court house, and right after he went back to work.

    I am in the process of planning our wedding myself and we wanted the same thing, nothing elaborate, especially since we are paying for the entire thing and I am planning the entire thing.

    We have come up with this idea. We have choosen things that mean alot to us both, such as the engagement and wedding photos, the cutting of the cake, and most importantly being with family and friends. We have decided to have the wedding at a central location so that most people that are part of our lives can attend, such as parents house or a park, everyone dress casual, what makes them comfortable, (that includes us), and in lue of wedding gifts, people leave us note cards for a receipe for a good marriage.  We are planning to cook hamburgers and hot dogs and just enjoy the start of our new lives together.

    I am not sure that this answers your question but I sure hopes this helps.
    Kinda new to this my self.  Best of Luck!!!
    Jodi & Shannon
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    mswood1977mswood1977 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    This will be both of ours second marriage, however this will be my first wedding. My first marraige took place in a courthouse and not reception or anything after.  My FI's first wedding was a giant overblown affair with his ex's father paying for anything she wanted.

    We decided that we would have a smaller yet traditional formal wedding and reception(about 50 people, Catholic Mass).

    My opinion is that it is your wedding and you and your FI can have anytype of wedding you want.
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